Cackalacky2.0
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All Things SkunkBear
- Thread starter Old Man Mike
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I went to the class calculator and removed him from UM’s class & their score drops to 82.70 with 5 commits. That would put them outside the top 30, just ahead of Vanderbilt & behind Kentucky, both of which also have 5 commits.
I added Absher to ND’s class & that put ND over 242…so ND’s score is four times better than UM’s.
I added Absher to ND’s class & that put ND over 242…so ND’s score is four times better than UM’s.
Ndaccountant
Old Hoss
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Scene: Michigan football offices, late Jan 2022. Meeting topic was on 2023 recruiting...
[Coach Elston] OK guys, ND, OSU, UGA, and pretty much everyone else have given us a lot of trouble in the past, uh… does anybody need anything off this guy or can we bypass him?
[Gattis:] Uhh, I think Coach Jim Harbaugh needs something from this guy
[Elston:] Oh, he needs those Lineman with big shoulders? Doesn’t – isn’t Pendleton a OL?
[Gattis:] Yeah… but that will help him drive through the line . I have more Jagusah film if you want to watch.
[Elston:] [sighs] Christ. OK, uhh well what we’ll do, I’ll visit school first, uh…gather up all the coaches. We can kinda just, ya know, blast them scholarships all down with AOE. Um, I will use Intimidating Shout to kinda scatter any opposing coaches, so we don’t have to fight a whole bunch of them at once. Uhh… when my Shouts are done, I’ll need Hart to come in and drop his Shout too, uh… so we can keep them scattered and not to fight too many. Um… when his is done, Clinkscale of course will need to run in and do the same thing. Uh…we’re gonna need Divine Intervention on our side, uhh so they can Weiss, uh so we can of course get them down fast, ’cause we’re bringing all these scholarships. I mean, we’ll be in trouble if we take them down quick. Uhh, I think this is a pretty good plan, we should be able to pull it off this time. Uhh, what do you think Jay? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?
[Jay Harbaugh:]] Uhhh.. yeah, gimme a sec… I’m coming up with thirty-two point three three uh, repeating of course, percentage, of landing a commitment.
[Elston:] Uh…that’s a lot better than we usually do. Uhh, alright, you think we’re ready guys? [interrupted]
[Coach Jim Harbaugh:] Alright chums! Let’s do this… JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMM HARRRRRRRBAUGHHHHHHH [runs into Vikings team office]
[Gattis:] [incredulous] … Oh my God he just went to Minnesota
[Hart:] Save him!
[Elston:] Oh jeez, stick to the plan.
[Gattis:] Oh jeez, let’s go, let’s go!
[Clinksalel:] [laughing] Stick to the plan chums!
[Elston:] Stick to the plan!
[Gattis:] Oh jeez, oh fuck.
[Weiss:] Gimme a commitment, hurry up.
[Elston:] Shoutin’!
[Clinksale:] It’s saying I can’t cast! I can’t move, am I lagging, guys?
[Jay Harbaugh:] I can’t move!
[Gattis:] What the – what the hell?
[Hart:] I can’t even get them to take my call!
[Gattis:] Oh my God…
[Hart:] The other schools, they just keep stealing our guys....More commitments for them!!
[Elston:] I don’t think you can cast with that shit on!
[Weiss:] Oh my God!
[Coach Jim Harbaugh:] We got em, we got em! I turned them down even though they didn't ever offer!!
[Clinksale:] I got it! I got it! [muffled shouts]
[Hart:] Take it off! Take it off! [muffled shouts]
[Weiss:] Gattis' leaving. Gattis’ leaving.
[Elston:] Oh my God..
[Hart:] Goddamit Jim!
[Elston:] Goddamit…
[Weiss:] Jim, you moron! [various other put-downs of Jim amongst group]
[Coach Jay Harbaugh:] I’m on it.
[Weiss:] It’s on Bas.
[Elston:] Listen, this is ridiculous.
[Unknown:] You d*****s!
[Elston:] I’m down, Gattis left. Goddamit. [shouting, then a pause, followed by other put-downs]
[Weiss:] I can't get anyone to take my call
[Hart:] This is the (drowned out)th time we’ve failed on this, God!
[Elston:] Why do you do this shit, Jim?
[Coach Jay Harbaugh:] I’m trying!
[Jim Harbaugh:] [cries] It’s not my fault!
[Elston:] Who’s Jesse Minter?
[Hart:] We do have Bellamy, don’t we? [everyone dies] Think I need a commitment?
[Weiss:] Yeah but I don’t think we can get anything by a 3*
[Elston:] [noticing everybody is dead] … Oh God…
[Clinksale:] Oh for – [sighs, nearly chokes and swallows] Great job!
[Unknown:] For Christ’s sake! [indistinguishable]
[Elston:] Jim, you are just stupid as hell.
[Weiss:] Nimrod.
[[Another Player:] Oh my God…
[Jim Harbaugh:] … At least I have milk
[Coach Elston] OK guys, ND, OSU, UGA, and pretty much everyone else have given us a lot of trouble in the past, uh… does anybody need anything off this guy or can we bypass him?
[Gattis:] Uhh, I think Coach Jim Harbaugh needs something from this guy
[Elston:] Oh, he needs those Lineman with big shoulders? Doesn’t – isn’t Pendleton a OL?
[Gattis:] Yeah… but that will help him drive through the line . I have more Jagusah film if you want to watch.
[Elston:] [sighs] Christ. OK, uhh well what we’ll do, I’ll visit school first, uh…gather up all the coaches. We can kinda just, ya know, blast them scholarships all down with AOE. Um, I will use Intimidating Shout to kinda scatter any opposing coaches, so we don’t have to fight a whole bunch of them at once. Uhh… when my Shouts are done, I’ll need Hart to come in and drop his Shout too, uh… so we can keep them scattered and not to fight too many. Um… when his is done, Clinkscale of course will need to run in and do the same thing. Uh…we’re gonna need Divine Intervention on our side, uhh so they can Weiss, uh so we can of course get them down fast, ’cause we’re bringing all these scholarships. I mean, we’ll be in trouble if we take them down quick. Uhh, I think this is a pretty good plan, we should be able to pull it off this time. Uhh, what do you think Jay? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?
[Jay Harbaugh:]] Uhhh.. yeah, gimme a sec… I’m coming up with thirty-two point three three uh, repeating of course, percentage, of landing a commitment.
[Elston:] Uh…that’s a lot better than we usually do. Uhh, alright, you think we’re ready guys? [interrupted]
[Coach Jim Harbaugh:] Alright chums! Let’s do this… JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMM HARRRRRRRBAUGHHHHHHH [runs into Vikings team office]
[Gattis:] [incredulous] … Oh my God he just went to Minnesota
[Hart:] Save him!
[Elston:] Oh jeez, stick to the plan.
[Gattis:] Oh jeez, let’s go, let’s go!
[Clinksalel:] [laughing] Stick to the plan chums!
[Elston:] Stick to the plan!
[Gattis:] Oh jeez, oh fuck.
[Weiss:] Gimme a commitment, hurry up.
[Elston:] Shoutin’!
[Clinksale:] It’s saying I can’t cast! I can’t move, am I lagging, guys?
[Jay Harbaugh:] I can’t move!
[Gattis:] What the – what the hell?
[Hart:] I can’t even get them to take my call!
[Gattis:] Oh my God…
[Hart:] The other schools, they just keep stealing our guys....More commitments for them!!
[Elston:] I don’t think you can cast with that shit on!
[Weiss:] Oh my God!
[Coach Jim Harbaugh:] We got em, we got em! I turned them down even though they didn't ever offer!!
[Clinksale:] I got it! I got it! [muffled shouts]
[Hart:] Take it off! Take it off! [muffled shouts]
[Weiss:] Gattis' leaving. Gattis’ leaving.
[Elston:] Oh my God..
[Hart:] Goddamit Jim!
[Elston:] Goddamit…
[Weiss:] Jim, you moron! [various other put-downs of Jim amongst group]
[Coach Jay Harbaugh:] I’m on it.
[Weiss:] It’s on Bas.
[Elston:] Listen, this is ridiculous.
[Unknown:] You d*****s!
[Elston:] I’m down, Gattis left. Goddamit. [shouting, then a pause, followed by other put-downs]
[Weiss:] I can't get anyone to take my call
[Hart:] This is the (drowned out)th time we’ve failed on this, God!
[Elston:] Why do you do this shit, Jim?
[Coach Jay Harbaugh:] I’m trying!
[Jim Harbaugh:] [cries] It’s not my fault!
[Elston:] Who’s Jesse Minter?
[Hart:] We do have Bellamy, don’t we? [everyone dies] Think I need a commitment?
[Weiss:] Yeah but I don’t think we can get anything by a 3*
[Elston:] [noticing everybody is dead] … Oh God…
[Clinksale:] Oh for – [sighs, nearly chokes and swallows] Great job!
[Unknown:] For Christ’s sake! [indistinguishable]
[Elston:] Jim, you are just stupid as hell.
[Weiss:] Nimrod.
[[Another Player:] Oh my God…
[Jim Harbaugh:] … At least I have milk
MacIrish75
The New Logo is a Jinx
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I feel so bad for anyone who doesn’t understand what this is referencing. This is POY material.
*GUNS UP, LET’S DO THIS*
Some Irish Bloke
Five foot nothin', a hundred and nothin'
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Veritate Duce Progredi
A man gotta have a code
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I feel so bad for anyone who took the time to read it.
TLDR
But I'm sure it was really cool. Calling it POY material fires up some serious internet rage inside me.
MacIrish75
The New Logo is a Jinx
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The angst is palpable, yes…
Cackalacky2.0
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Relax bro or someone is going to plan a Serenity now event for your funeral. Cue “Where Eagles Dare!”
StPaul_Irish
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EJ lol
ulukinatme
Carr for QB 2025!
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He does know weird and creepy.
Veritate Duce Progredi
A man gotta have a code
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Stop saying his f%$&ing name and maybe he'll just go away.
Why do people care what a classless reporter says to Michigan fans? Give him the ultimate rejection and stop fuckin caring about his existence.
Why do people care what a classless reporter says to Michigan fans? Give him the ultimate rejection and stop fuckin caring about his existence.
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greyhammer90
the drunk piano player
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But watching him tapdance for sad Michigan fans is fun tho.
Veritate Duce Progredi
A man gotta have a code
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Fine. But I'd suggest not reporting it here or anywhere. He apparently searches this shit out to play the "I've got stalkers" schtick.
He obviously derives pleasure from riling up opposing fanbases and he has no angle right now. Michigan recruiting sucks d and so does he. Leave the man to his de(vice)
laughingirish90
Well-known member
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it has gone both ways for several years as scUM fans are always starting threads on various scUM boards just talking about our irish because of the massive hate that they have for us
GATTACA!
It's about to get gross
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They hate us because they anus.
Some Irish Bloke
Five foot nothin', a hundred and nothin'
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well played sir
StPaul_Irish
Resident Smart Ass
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I mean, this is the Skunkbear thread isn't it? Should we just stop talking about them all together? Maybe the whole program will just go away.
ulukinatme
Carr for QB 2025!
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Na, those dipshits need to be reminded of their mediocrity regularly. They were irrelevant for more than a decade, then they finally knock off tOSU and get to the playoff only to get stomped, but they're still crowing. Hell, we were at least humble, and we've had 5 straight 10+ win seasons now. They think they're hot shit and top of the food chain again. They need a heavy dose of reality as often as necessary.
Henges24
BUCKETHEAD
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Gunna have to use that one
dublinirish
Everestt Gholstonson
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so Jim is playing Call of Duty with recruits now lol
greyhammer90
the drunk piano player
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Shot the moon on cringe and had me laughing again.
NDdomer2
Local Sports vBookie
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Same reason they are still worried about what our ex coach is gonna do at his daughters college graduation
Dale
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EJ said it’s not in the Michigan program’s best interest that he puts certain info on the site folks already pay for. Instead wants his subscribers to pay additional straight to him via a premium Twitter spaces for extra top secret recruiting info
Feels like something it’d be sending a nice email about Tuesday morning if I was On3 higher up
Lol WTF.
EJ said it’s not in the Michigan program’s best interest that he puts certain info on the site folks already pay for. Instead wants his subscribers to pay additional straight to him via a premium Twitter spaces for extra top secret recruiting info
Feels like something it’d be sending a nice email about Tuesday morning if I was On3 higher up
notredomer23
Staph Member
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EJ said it’s not in the Michigan program’s best interest that he puts certain info on the site folks already pay for. Instead wants his subscribers to pay additional straight to him via a premium Twitter spaces for extra top secret recruiting info
Feels like something it’d be sending a nice email about Tuesday morning if I was On3 higher up
Wild thread. Devolved into them making it an NIL deal
dublinirish
Everestt Gholstonson
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is EJ gonna make an OnlyFans next??