What Really Grinds Your Gears?

[wizards8507]

What are the odds that whoever showed up for the install was messing with him and convinced him that it was completely necessary?

The worst part is, he's not some crazy old man. He just turned 50 last year.

 

[ACamp1900]

Touched on in the video game thread but:

Parents that use tablets and such as a babysitter,.. and let their kids take it EVERYWHERE. This happens a lot but this past weekend I'm at Target and some mom has all four of her kids walking behind her like zombies each plugged into a tablet while she shops. One almost walks right into me and the mom snaps at the kid, "Watch where you're going!!"... It's not the kids mom,.. it's you.

This extends to family dinner outings or sporting events and such too... never fails, at least one family has all of the little ones hooked on a tablet.

Another tablet story: Last time I was at Disneyland we went to see the Lincoln show... the kid in front of us doesn't like it straight off and rather than take the kid out, or actually make an attempt at parenting, the mother whips out a tablet at full blast, lights bright in a dark theater and lets her son go to town. When myself and others asked, and then finally told, her to turn it off so we can enjoy the show (couldn't hear or see anything over this freakin tablet) she told us to 'fuck off' in those exact words. Happiest place on earth.,

 

[Irish#1]

Touched on in the video game thread but:

Parents that use tablets and such as a babysitter,.. and let their kids take it EVERYWHERE. This happens a lot but this past weekend I'm at Target and some mom has all four of her kids walking behind her like zombies each plugged into a tablet while she shops. One almost walks right into me and the mom snaps at the kid, "Watch where you're going!!"... It's not the kids mom,.. it's you.

This extends to family dinner outings or sporting events and such too... never fails, at least one family has all of the little ones hooked on a tablet.

Another tablet story: Last time I was at Disneyland we went to see the Lincoln show... the kid in front of us doesn't like it straight off and rather than take the kid out, or actually make an attempt at parenting, the mother whips out a tablet at full blast, lights bright in a dark theater and lets her son go to town. When myself and others asked, and then finally told, her to turn it off so we can enjoy the show (couldn't hear or see anything over this freakin tablet) she told us to 'fuck off' in those exact words. Happiest place on earth.,

That's what you get for going to the "Magic Kingdom"!

 

[Cackalacky]

My wife and I have implemented time limits on devices for us and the kids. It forces us to be parents and our kids to be kids. We also dont allow devices at any dinner table anywhere. Basically we dont allow the kids to have them anywhere outside the living room. Hah

 

[IrishSteelhead]

My wife and I have implemented time limits on devices for us and the kids. It forces us to be parents and our kids to be kids. We also dont allow devices at any dinner table anywhere. Basically we dont allow the kids to have them anywhere outside the living room. Hah

 

[Bishop2b5]

My wife and I have implemented time limits on devices for us and the kids. It forces us to be parents and our kids to be kids. We also dont allow devices at any dinner table anywhere. Basically we dont allow the kids to have them anywhere outside the living room. Hah

I'm with you 100%. Dinner time is family time to talk about your day, find out what everyone in the family has been up to, how their day went, talk about something interesting you saw or learned, etc. Cell phones & tablets are banned during dinner time. Nobody gets to grab their food and go to their room. Interact and have some quality time together. Share your day, show some interest in everyone else's day, and put the devices away for 30 minutes.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

My wife and I have implemented time limits on devices for us and the kids. It forces us to be parents and our kids to be kids. We also dont allow devices at any dinner table anywhere. Basically we dont allow the kids to have them anywhere outside the living room. Hah

Our policy is basically zero screen time Monday through Thursday. Friday night is family movie night. They can earn gaming time on the weekends (usually during the younger kids' nap times), though that's the first thing to go if they aren't meeting expectations during the week.

They usually play Skylanders on my old PS3, but they're getting burned out on it (and while it has simplified birthday and Christmas shopping for them, I'm tired of spending $10-15 per figurine on this game). I mentioned last year about wanting to build my own arcade cabinet loaded with classic games, but my wife was not enthused about dedicating a significant piece of furniture to gaming. So now I'm looking into something small and portable:

... with a stand-alone 4-stick arcade panel that we can pull out for parties, or when they have friends over.

 

[NorthDakota]

What's the cutoff for Millennials? I don't want to be lumped in with any of the kids who grew up with their own cell phone.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

What's the cutoff for Millennials? I don't want to be lumped in with any of the kids who grew up with their own cell phone.

None of my kids will own a smart phone while they're under my roof. Several of my siblings and close friends are elementary school teachers. Even in the charter system, which generally benefits from selection bias and above-average parent involvement, most of the boys have seen hardcore pornography by 3rd grade. All because parents are giving their kids internet access (usually via smart phones) with absolutely no supervision.

 

[ACamp1900]

None of my kids will own a smart phone while they're under my roof. Several of my siblings and close friends are elementary school teachers. Even in the charter system, which generally benefits from selection bias and above-average parent involvement, most of the boys have seen hardcore pornography by 3rd grade. All because parents are giving their kids internet access (usually via smart phones) with absolutely no supervision.

Just got my 13 year old her first phone this weekend, mainly because she's flying cross country to visit family in a couple weeks but it's an old cell phone with no smart features... just phone and text.

 

[zelezo vlk]

You guys are all doing it right

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

 

[IrishLion]

I thought "sneak a look at an old Playboy" was a right-of-passage for teenage boys growing up.

That has been completely ruined by smartphones and tablets. Anybody can find anything they want if they know what "Incognito" mode is on their browser.

And I'm not even trying to make light of Whiskey's disturbing statistic... I think there is an interesting dynamic to be considered. How much more messed up and perverse is the kid that discovers hardcore porn in third grade, than the kid who saw his first playboy in 7th grade?

Is there a difference, or does it still come down to parental involvement and addressing what the young minds have seen?

 

[Irish#1]

One of the greatest technology advances of all time.....................The smartphone

One of the worst technology advances of all time.....................The smartphone

 

[wizards8507]

Touched on in the video game thread but:

Parents that use tablets and such as a babysitter,.. and let their kids take it EVERYWHERE. This happens a lot but this past weekend I'm at Target and some mom has all four of her kids walking behind her like zombies each plugged into a tablet while she shops. One almost walks right into me and the mom snaps at the kid, "Watch where you're going!!"... It's not the kids mom,.. it's you.

This extends to family dinner outings or sporting events and such too... never fails, at least one family has all of the little ones hooked on a tablet.

Another tablet story: Last time I was at Disneyland we went to see the Lincoln show... the kid in front of us doesn't like it straight off and rather than take the kid out, or actually make an attempt at parenting, the mother whips out a tablet at full blast, lights bright in a dark theater and lets her son go to town. When myself and others asked, and then finally told, her to turn it off so we can enjoy the show (couldn't hear or see anything over this freakin tablet) she told us to 'fuck off' in those exact words. Happiest place on earth.,

No joke, I was on a resort bus at Walt Disney World and one kid cycled through his own smartphone (battery died), mom's phone (didn't have the game he wanted), an iPad (got sick of it) and a 3DS on a single 15 minute ride. If there's one place where you shouldn't need an electronic device it's goddamn Walt Disney World. And the worst part is that the kid's father was plugging away on a tablet of his own. Headphones in, completely ignoring the family.

 

[NDohio]

I don't envy young parents who are having to attempt to control their kids and their using smartphones, tablets, video games, etc. Mine are 18 and 21 so they are at that age where not "everyone has one" was part of their reasoning on why they should get one of the above items. Our rules for engaging with family and friends were already in place and well established prior to the smartphone craze becoming so overwhelming. You all seem to be on the right path on limiting the usage of these devices. Kudos to you.

Of course, I do have an exemption to be on IE all I want...

 

[RDU Irish]

I hate phones for kids. My 13 year old got one of our old ones for his birthday but he might actually get access to it 1/10th of the time because we are so quick to take it away. Try to reinforce that it is a communication device, not an entertainment device. He is realizing the kids that have had one for five years are generally twats embarrassing themselves so it has helped some. At the same point we don't want him ostracized from his peers completely.

Grinds my gears - kids without bedtimes, pretty much all ages. WTF folks, don't you want any peace and quiet for yourself? Half the reason we are militant about bedtime is so I can have an hour or two without minions under foot to keep my sanity. Then we see and hear about all these kids that are grumpy mopes who can't pay attention in class sooo put out .... but stay awake until midnight or later every night watching TV, tablet/iphone, xbox completely unattended.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I thought "sneak a look at an old Playboy" was a right-of-passage for teenage boys growing up.

And before that, it was flipping through the lingerie section of the Sears catalogue.

And I'm not even trying to make light of Whiskey's disturbing statistic... I think there is an interesting dynamic to be considered. How much more messed up and perverse is the kid that discovers hardcore porn in third grade, than the kid who saw his first playboy in 7th grade?

I haven't been able to find a credible study on this question, but the damage done seems to correlate directly with: (1) how young the boy is when regular exposure to sexually explicit material begins; and (2) how sexually explicit that material is. In years past, first exposure happened post-puberty as teenagers, and it was generally pretty tame (like a Playboy). Now, it's happening pre-puberty at very young (and increasingly so) ages, and they're seeing the most hardcore stuff in existence online.

My brother-in-law is the Dean of Discipline at a classical charter middle school. As I mentioned in my last post, the kids at these schools are (on average) much better off than the general population, because their parents have self-selected into an institution full of academically-oriented families who are both present and active in their childrens' education. But nearly every week he has to deal with a boy who's fondling a female classmate, asking a girl "Do you want to get raped?", taking upskirt photos without consent (these are all actual examples he's told me about recently, btw). This isn't harmless "boys will be boys" type of behavior, but stuff that will get you shit-canned from a job before you can blink in the working world. And without fail, when he talks to the parents about it, he tells them to check the boys' browsing history, and they find all sorts of hardcore pornography. These kids are 12 and 13! It's a national epidemic, but we seem incapable of addressing it because of our liberal first principles.

Is there a difference, or does it still come down to parental involvement and addressing what the young minds have seen?

Parents should obviously talk to their kids about sex as soon as they're old enough to understand (or perhaps sooner, since odds are good that most of their classmates are being exposed to very explicit stuff much too early). But when they're exposed to it and how they're exposed it makes a huge difference. If you give a smart phone to a 4th grade boy, he's eventually going to find his way to YouPorn. And consuming that sort of high-octane sexual stimulus while his brain is still developing will seriously fuck up his ability to interact healthily with the fairer sex.

 

[zelezo vlk]

Do you guys put on filters or something to block those sites?

 

[NorthDakota]

Do you guys put on filters or something to block those sites?

When i was a preteen, my dad put a thing on our computer that limited my time i could be on the PC, and did a helluva job blocking bad websites (i tried like hell to get around it).... and it sent him an email every time it blocked me.

By the time he took it off, i was fairly well conditioned.

 

[Rack Em]

I don't envy young parents who are having to attempt to control their kids and their using smartphones, tablets, video games, etc. Mine are 18 and 21 so they are at that age where not "everyone has one" was part of their reasoning on why they should get one of the above items. Our rules for engaging with family and friends were already in place and well established prior to the smartphone craze becoming so overwhelming. You all seem to be on the right path on limiting the usage of these devices. Kudos to you.

Of course, I do have an exemption to be on IE all I want...

We actively keep our phones away from our 4 month old daughter. I make sure that if I use it, that I'm not in her line of sight. We absolutely do not want her growing up in front of screens. It creates the problems everyone has talked about above. We want her to be able to engage in conversation with the people around her and to go to school and actually be able to learn by watching and listening to a person. She will not be a mindless drone who can only learn by being given notes and pictures on her tablet. That pervasive laziness in the educational world will not fly with me.

The only exception is using the iPad to Facetime with family. And I can tell she already likes the screen...but it's a small price to pay so she can grow up knowing family.

 

[woolybug25]

Do you guys put on filters or something to block those sites?

To what extent do filters stop access though? Their friends all have cell phones and the home computer is the least of options to access bad things. Hell, turn on regular cable nowadays. My wife watches a show called Famous in Love on the Freeform channel no less (owned by Disney). The show is literally aimed at teenage girls and has all types of sexual scenarios and scenes. It's hard to simply block access to all the bad things in the world when they are constantly barraging children with said material.

So when me and my wife talk about it, we will probably try a two prong approach. 1) Try to put blocks & restrictions in place where we can and 2) Inform them about WHY we are doing it. WHY those things should be avoided. Most of all, try our damnest to instill good moral fiber to the point where they at least attempt to be wholesome.

Ever feel like we are losing an inevitable battle here though?

 

[zelezo vlk]

To what extent do filters stop access though? Their friends all have cell phones and the home computer is the least of options to access bad things. Hell, turn on regular cable nowadays. My wife watches a show called Famous in Love on the Freeform channel no less (owned by Disney). The show is literally aimed at teenage girls and has all types of sexual scenarios and scenes. It's hard to simply block access to all the bad things in the world when they are constantly barraging children with said material.

So when me and my wife talk about it, we will probably try a two prong approach. 1) Try to put blocks & restrictions in place where we can and 2) Inform them about WHY we are doing it. WHY those things should be avoided. Most of all, try our damnest to instill good moral fiber to the point where they at least attempt to be wholesome.

Ever feel like we are losing an inevitable battle here though?

Oh I'm not saying it's a panacea, but filters can help towards the goal of keeping the content away from kids. So yes, your approach is probably what I'd try, but with filters being an essential part of your Prong 1.

As to the bolded, well. Yes. Some times. The more that the studies come out against porn though, and greater numbers of non-religious people step forward to denounce the evil effects of porn gives me comfort.

 

[wizards8507]

People who try to hide their pot with Axe body spray. You're not fooling anyone, you just smell like an asshole.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

To what extent do filters stop access though? Their friends all have cell phones and the home computer is the least of options to access bad things. Hell, turn on regular cable nowadays. My wife watches a show called Famous in Love on the Freeform channel no less (owned by Disney). The show is literally aimed at teenage girls and has all types of sexual scenarios and scenes. It's hard to simply block access to all the bad things in the world when they are constantly barraging children with said material.

Controlling technology on your end is the easy part. Once they're old enough to need a phone, make it a simple flip phone without internet access. If you have a PC, make sure it's got some heavy filters on it, and try to locate it in a high-traffic area, etc.

Controlling what they get exposed to via their friends' smart phones, at school, or at a neighbor's house is damn near impossible. I mentioned this in the parenthood thread, but I'm a strong advocate of "free-range" parenting (as opposed to the "helicopter" variety). Kids needs to be given the freedom to explore, form their own little societies, find their place in various social hierarchies, practice negotiation and compromise without an adult swooping in every time there's a conflict, etc. But unless you live around people with a shared moral framework, and you know your neighbors well enough to trust that your kid won't be exposed to anything traumatic in their house, you pretty much have to be a helicopter parent to protect them from this stuff.

That's a big reason why I've been so interested in consciously counter-cultural communities recently. It really does take a village to properly raise a child.

Ever feel like we are losing an inevitable battle here though?

Absolutely. But history is a spiral. We're in the same position now as the Romans of late classical antiquity, watching their empire fall in slow motion due to moral decay, and feeling powerless to do anything on a macro level to stop it. And the proper response now is the same it was then. Band together with other like-minded people to carve out a small sphere sanity wherever you live.

 

[woolybug25]

People who try to hide their pot with Axe body spray. You're not fooling anyone, you just smell like an asshole.

Like a literal butthole.

 

[wizards8507]

Band together with other like-minded people to carve out a small sphere sanity wherever you live.

Or with strangers on the Internet, as the case may be.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Or with strangers on the Internet, as the case may be.

You guys aren't strangers. I spend more time with you than lots of my actual blood relatives.

 

[IrishLion]

People who try to hide their pot with Axe body spray. You're not fooling anyone, you just smell like an asshole.

Like a literal butthole.

There is a large population of foreign students on my college campus (I think a higher percentage than most institutions have, because of agreements our state has made with various countries).

Some of these students share a culture where you only bathe once per week, if that.

You can always tell where they've been, and can essentially follow their trail, if you'd like, because they mask their accumulating odor with Axe Body Spray. The later in the week it gets, the more "aromatic" the smell of Axe spray on campus.

It's to the point where you get a headache simply by getting on the elevator after they've left, or by walking down a hallway where they've been.


NOTE: This is not a judgement. Just a commentary. There is so much Axe residue lingering in the air that the cloud is probably visible through hi-tech infrared or something.

 

[ACamp1900]

You guys aren't strangers. I spend more time with you than lots of my actual blood relatives.

It's also like family here in that the thought of having a large gathering with many of you at once is super cringe inducing...

 

[wizards8507]

There is a large population of foreign students on my college campus (I think a higher percentage than most institutions have, because of agreements our state has made with various countries).

Some of these students share a culture where you only bathe once per week, if that.

You can always tell where they've been, and can essentially follow their trail, if you'd like, because they mask their accumulating odor with Axe Body Spray. The later in the week it gets, the more "aromatic" the smell of Axe spray on campus.

It's to the point where you get a headache simply by getting on the elevator after they've left, or by walking down a hallway where they've been.

NOTE: This is not a judgement. Just a commentary. There is so much Axe residue lingering in the air that the cloud is probably visible through hi-tech infrared or something.

Reminds me of the football locker room in high school. Nobody ever wanted to wash their shit so they'd just load up their girdles with spray. And the freshman locker room was off in basically a large closet with no doors or windows so it would just bake in there.