Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[ACamp1900]

Cambodian, so same thing ..

rice is rice...

 

[Ndaccountant]

Even better idea.....offer to give her a nice massage with lotion. Dim the lights, tell her to close her eyes. Then, just dump the whole m'fing bottle of Aunt Jemima on her back. Don't say a word and simply walk away.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

My wife has a thing about syrup, absolutely detests it to the point she doesn't want it in her vicinity, so I abide and we don't do syrup in this house.

What an odd thing to hate.

Today, she decides to do a craft project with my youngest son, and she has glitter all over her face and arms. She thinks it's funny. I think she's asking to live in a trash can like Oscar.

 

[ulukinatme]

What an odd thing to hate.

For whatever reason, syrup is a deal breaker with her. Aside from the sticky nature, her sisters used to put it in her hair to tease her. She also had an ex tease her once by dangling some syrup above her, and he managed to actually spill it on her head. Relationship was terminated afterwards.

 

[Henges24]

My wife has a thing about syrup, absolutely detests it to the point she doesn't want it in her vicinity, so I abide and we don't do syrup in this house.

You lost me here. Do you not have maple trees in Southwest* Ohio?

Give her the real stuff not the fake Mrs Butterworth garbage. It'll change her mind.

 

[ACamp1900]

For whatever reason, syrup is a deal breaker with her. Aside from the sticky nature, her sisters used to put it in her hair to tease her. She also had an ex tease her once by dangling some syrup above her, and he managed to actually spill it on her head. Relationship was terminated afterwards.

Your brother ever tell you why he did it??

 

[wizards8507]

The solution is pretty clear here... buy a jumbo bottle of Aunt Jemima, open it, let it spill a bit and just generally leave it sitting out until she gets the point.

Aunt Jemima isn't syrup. It's sludge.

 

[ACamp1900]

Aunt Jemima isn't syrup. It's sludge.

Damnit Wiz, so let's have him buy a large thing of high end stuff so he can waste that instead...

 

[wizards8507]

Damnit Wiz, so let's have him buy a large thing of high end stuff so he can waste that instead...

Everyone knows that Vermont 100% Pure Grade A Medium Amber is the only acceptable choice for all spite-filled spousal revenge schemes.

It's a lot more affordable if you drive to Vermont yourself and buy it by the gallon.

 

[ACamp1900]

Everyone knows that Vermont 100% Pure Grade A Medium Amber is the only acceptable choice for all spite-filled spousal revenge schemes.

take one of your 200 dollar loafers, and hit yourself with it...

 

[wizards8507]

take one of your 200 dollar loafers, and hit yourself with it...

Go Irish

 

[Ndaccountant]

Go Irish

Looks like a love child of saucony and Cole haan

 

[wizards8507]

Looks like a love child of saucony and Cole haan

Joke?

 

[IrishLion]

Go Irish

This is awesome but I also want to punch you

 

[Whiskeyjack]

This is awesome but I also want to punch you

The wizards8507 brand.

 

[Ndaccountant]

Joke?

Kinda

 

[ACamp1900]

So tending to sick family is not one of my wife's stronger points. For years I always thought, "Geez, she makes it out like I'm TRYING to be sick..." She gets snippy when me or the girls need help or tending to. Just a few days ago she was joking to her mom and dad how she has no use for us when we are sick and she does realize how she acts totally different towards us when we need tending to when under the weather. She laughed it off and said, "Sorry I'm not good at it and yeah, not my thing, good thing I never get sick..." And this is true, this woman NEVER gets sick... until now, just days after these statements,... sick as a dog, whiny, needing all kinds of help and attention. My girls and I aren't going to let this live down any time soon....

 

[Bishop2b5]

So tending to sick family is not one of my wife's stronger points. For years I always thought, "Geez, she makes it out like I'm TRYING to be sick..." She gets snippy when me or the girls need help or tending to. Just a few days ago she was joking to her mom and dad how she has no use for us when we are sick and she does realize how she acts totally different towards us when we need tending to when under the weather. She laughed it off and said, "Sorry I'm not good at it and yeah, not my thing, good thing I never get sick..." And this is true, this woman NEVER gets sick... until now, just days after these statements,... sick as a dog, whiny, needing all kinds of help and attention. My girls and I aren't going to let this live down any time soon....

I think that's common with a lot of women. They HATE taking care of husbands or kids when they're sick and act like we got that way on purpose just to annoy them... but they sure as hell want to be taken care of when THEY'RE sick. Get a shot in for the rest of us, bro. Tell her to get her own damned OJ and aspirin.

 

[ACamp1900]

I think that's common with a lot of women. They HATE taking care of husbands or kids when they're sick and act like we got that way on purpose just to annoy them... but they sure as hell want to be taken care of when THEY'RE sick. Get a shot in for the rest of us, bro. Tell her to get her own damned OJ and aspirin.

Wife bed ridden this morning asking for meds and soup. Me:

 

[zelezo vlk]

Brother, I love any reason to make soup. That's not a hassle.

 

[ACamp1900]

Brother, I love any reason to make soup. That's not a hassle.

It was already made, she just wanted some heated up... I was still like, "remember that one time??"

lol

 

[Irish#1]

It was already made, she just wanted some heated up... I was still like, "remember that one time??"

lol

You’re a meany.

 

[ACamp1900]

I laughed:

 

[ulukinatme]

I laughed:

I'd say they snapped a picture of my wife's sink, but her sink is twice as long . I decided to give her the master bathroom so I wouldn't have to see it, I've always used the guest bath.

 

[ACamp1900]

I'd say they snapped a picture of my wife's sink, but her sink is twice as long . I decided to give her the master bathroom so I wouldn't have to see it, I've always used the guest bath.

My wife has an iron and dryer,... she doesn’t wear makeup so... but I remember back in the long long ago, dating horrors of girlfriend’s bathrooms. Honestly, this is a carbon copy of my sisters bathroom

 

[Irish#1]

I'd say they snapped a picture of my wife's sink, but her sink is twice as long . I decided to give her the master bathroom so I wouldn't have to see it, I've always used the guest bath.

We have a double vanity that looks like that. I also use one of the other bathrooms. lol

 

[ACamp1900]

We have a double vanity that looks like that. I also use one of the other bathrooms. lol

My father in law has his own bathroom (the guest room bathroom). The situation is hilarious to me...

 

[Irish#1]

Last year my wife wanted to put in a small 6 X 6 garden to grow some tomato's and peppers. She wanted to put it next to the house for convenience. I pointed out that the plants wouldn't get much sun being next to the house, but it was "her project" so there it went. Took forever to get tomato's and the peppers were small.

This year she wants another garden and decides to put it where I suggested she put it last year. lol

 

[ACamp1900]

Last year my wife wanted to put in a small 6 X 6 garden to grow some tomato's and peppers. She wanted to put it next to the house for convenience. I pointed out that the plants wouldn't get much sun being next to the house, but it was "her project" so there it went. Took forever to get tomato's and the peppers were small.

This year she wants another garden and decides to put it where I suggested she put it last year. lol

Exact opposite out here... Here in the desert you'd better put it next to the house or some kind of partial shade...

 

[ulukinatme]

My wife has an iron and dryer,... she doesn’t wear makeup so... but I remember back in the long long ago, dating horrors of girlfriend’s bathrooms. Honestly, this is a carbon copy of my sisters bathroom

Humble brag here, your're saying your wife looks good enough that she doesn't need makeup. Well played.