Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[GoldenDome]

My wife never does anything stupid. EVER.

 

[ulukinatme]

My sister asked her husband to go in the garage and change the oil in her car. He drained the oil and asked her where the oil was. She said that she hadn't picked any up. So he went back inside to take a shower before going to the hardware store to pick up the oil (he was gonna make a few stops, like the grocery store, hence the shower). She got mad because he couldn't magically create new oil from thin air...

So she got in her car to go get it herself. In the car he just drained all of the oil out of. I'll save you the punchline...

Holy crap....we have a new leader in the clubhouse!

 

[ACamp1900]

How about a thread entitled "stupid threads that guys make up about their wives?"

.... I'll let myself out. {Going to see Whiskey to talk football or theology.}

Does it really matter if the wife is actually made up to begin with??

 

[IrishSteelhead]

My sister asked her husband to go in the garage and change the oil in her car. He drained the oil and asked her where the oil was. She said that she hadn't picked any up. So he went back inside to take a shower before going to the hardware store to pick up the oil (he was gonna make a few stops, like the grocery store, hence the shower). She got mad because he couldn't magically create new oil from thin air...



So she got in her car to go get it herself. In the car he just drained all of the oil out of. I'll save you the punchline...

OH MY GOD....That is going to be hard to beat. Please tell me it was a brand new car.

 

[NDfaninBama]

I'm going through a divorce currently, but the cheating dream thing was something I never understood either. It just started the day off wrong when she's pissed. RDU Irish- I wish I had said that to her. haha

 

[woolybug25]

OH MY GOD....That is going to be hard to beat. Please tell me it was a brand new car.

It wasn't brand new, but pretty close. Subaru Forrester. Insurance totaled it.

 

[IrishSteelhead]

It wasn't brand new, but pretty close. Subaru Forrester. Insurance totaled it.

Haha wow. What a mess. Your brother in law has a free pass from wife complaints for life now right?

 

[woolybug25]

Haha wow. What a mess. Your brother in law has a free pass from wife complaints for life now right?

With my sister?... No way, Jose.

Man is a saint for putting up with her. That story is just the tip of the iceberg. Haha

 

[GATTACA!]

I m glad to hear I'm not the only one that gets the cheating dreams held against them.

Oh boy and on the topic of driving...my wife for some reason loves to drive with the passenger tires stratteling whatever line is to the right. Of course when I point out this mistake I'm an asshole. I think the only thing that will actually change this bad habit is some sort of popped tire from crap on the apron.

 

[Bishop2b5]

What's with the cheating dream? My wife's had that one once and stayed mad at me for a day (I've never even been tempted to cheat on her and she knows that).

Funny stupid thing from my ex-wife: She is extremely hard-headed and takes every attempt to give her advice as some sort of personal attack. A few years after our divorce we went to Six Flags with our daughters and my brother. A few minutes after we left to head home, she called me to say she was running on fumes and needed gas immediately, plus the kids were hungry. We stopped at the next exit and grabbed a burger. As we started to leave, I told her to be careful getting to the service station just down the street because the entrance was tricky and it was easy to miss the entrance and instead end up back on I-85. She got mad and told me she knew how to drive and didn't need me telling her how to turn into a service station. I tried explaining that it really was a confusing exchange and that I'd missed it before, but got the same "I'm not an idiot! I don't need your driving advice" reply.

I told her I was going back inside to top off my drink and my brother & I would meet her at the filling station in a couple of minutes. When we got there she was nowhere in sight, of course. She called and said, "I missed the turn into the gas station! I'm back on the Interstate and I'm going to run out of gas!"

In my best Strother Martin impersonation I said, "What we have heah is failyuh to communeecate. They's some hahd-headed bitches you jes cain't reach" and hung up on her.

 

[ulukinatme]

Nice addition, Bishop!

Keep 'em coming, everyone.

 

[GEORGIA DOMER]

My wife asked me just today if its ok that we just hang around the house this weekend. Maybe just have some drinks and hit the pool. SMH question

 

[GoIrish41]

My wife is smarter than me and I have nothing to contribute. (See ACamp's first post).

 

[greyhammer90]

I don't have a wife, but I have a GirlfriEnd. She's greaT, I can't imagine Having a bEtter or more Likable Person to spend time with!

 

[GBdomer]

In this is gonna be a great thread

 

[ulukinatme]

I've given out too much rep in the last 24 hours, someone hit Grey for me.

 

[pkt77242]

I've given out too much rep in the last 24 hours, someone hit Grey for me.

Done

 

[pkt77242]

My wife knows how to use the internet. So I won't be participating in this thread. God speed, gentlemen.

^This.

It is already hard enough to get my wife in bed, no reason to remove what little chance I have of getting any action.

 

[bkess8]

^This.

It is already hard enough to get my wife in bed, no reason to remove what little chance I have of getting any action.

AMEN! REPS! Like they say on shark tank I'M OUT!

 

[bkess8]

I've given out too much rep in the last 24 hours, someone hit Grey for me.

Done!

 

[Blazers46]

My wife never does anything stupid. EVER.

Obvious sign the wife knows your password.

 

[ACamp1900]

^This.

It is already hard enough to get my wife in bed, no reason to remove what little chance I have of getting any action.

No, "Steak and BJ Thursday" in your household huh? Sounds like maybe you should drink more Dos Equis........

 

[pkt77242]

No, "Steak and BJ Thursday" in your household huh? Sounds like maybe you should drink more Dos Equis........

Nice try, my wife refers to Dos Equis as a bitch drink. Fits you perfectly.......

 

[ACamp1900]

^This.

It is already hard enough to get my wife in bed, no reason to remove what little chance I have of getting any action.

Nice try, my wife refers to Dos Equis as a bitch drink. Fits you perfectly.......

Sounds to me like the problem is your wife is only willing to stroke your ego...

 

[no.1IrishFan]

My wife knows how to use the internet. So I won't be participating in this thread. God speed, gentlemen.

I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Remember the thread I started when wifey was preggers and her hormones were making her "less than desireable" to be around?
Yeeeeaaaah, she opened the ipad up to that one day and I can't tell you the shit I got for it.

 

[pkt77242]

Sounds to me like the problem is your wife is only willing to stroke your ego...

LOL. I can't even get that stroked.

 

[Irishnuke]

I'm pretty ashamed to say this but I dont know any of you personally so here it goes. My wife didn't know that sea shells were part of a living creature.

 

[T Town Tommy]

Back in 2008, I am sitting in the kitchen with my son and we are discussing the Russian invasion in to Georgia. Wife walks in and gets all upset. I asked her what was wrong and she asked "Russia invaded Georgia? Seriously? What are we going to do?" I looked up and said "Yep. they're in Atlanta right now and headed our way." Our son was just sitting there staring and my wife with this You got to be kidding me look. Bless her heart.

 

[ulukinatme]

Somebody rep T Town for me too, please.

Seriously, for those of you that are too worried to share, send me your stories with the names and minor details changed to protect the innocent. I'll submit them under my username.

 

[ShakeDown]

Only been married a month.... Stories forthcoming.