A bit of comic relief in an otherwise unfunny conversation:
About 12 years ago I was on my way back home from Nashville to N. AL very late one night as I was going home for my birthday. I was tired and sort of zoned out. A couple of TN Highway Patrol officers had a car pulled over on the shoulder of I-65 and I clearly saw them, but I was so tired that it didn't occur to me that I should move to the left lane. I went zipping by them and one of them quickly came after me and pulled me over. As the officer walked up to the passenger side of my car, I rolled the window down and then my eyes about popped out of my head. The officer was an extraordinarily beautiful woman - creamy olive complexion, fat lips, blue eyes - one of the 10 most beautiful women I've ever met face-to-face. She actually looked a lot like Adriana Lima. This is pretty much what was asking me for my license:
My first thought was, "Is this a joke? Where are the hidden cameras? Is she about to strip and then my brother and a couple of my friends will show up and yell 'Happy Birthday!'" I'm not kidding, I actually had that thought for about 1 second. I started to ask her if there was any way to avoid a ticket, but she cut me off immediately with a sharp "NO!" and then chewed me out for a couple of minutes before writing me a ticket.