Most Embarrassing Moments

[Bishop2b5]

OK, the season's over, the recruits are all signed, spring practice is months away, and the next season doesn't start for a long time. There's a long offseason to get through. A little levity seems in order. We've all had a few extremely embarrassing moments in our lives. They're funny later, but not so much at the time. Everybody enjoy sharing your misery with the rest of us.

Here's mine:

In my mid-twenties, I ran into an old HS girlfriend who was with her husband and 3-year-old daughter. She hugged my neck and introduced me to her husband & daughter. I commented on how cute the little girl was and then pointing to my ex-gf's very obviously pregnant midsection said, "So, when's this one due?"

"Um. Heh. Uhh, I'm not pregnant."

Oh crap. There's nothing you can say at that point to play it off or make it better. You just have to stand there red faced, with your foot firmly stuck in your mouth, feeling like the world's biggest idiot, and wishing the ground would open up and swallow you.

 

[arrowryan]

Someone pulled down my pants during recess in 8th grade. My junk was showing and everything. And it happened in front of a bunch of girls.

Terrible experience

 

[Bishop2b5]

Someone pulled down my pants during recess in 8th grade. My junk was showing and everything. And it happened in front of a bunch of girls.

Terrible experience

Oh man, NO! That tops mine by a long shot! lol

 

[arrowryan]

Oh man, NO! That tops mine by a long shot! lol

Yeah and I was wearing sweat pants that day too. So from that day until now, I have always worn shorts under my sweat pants in fear of someone pulling down my pants. Lol

 

[Bishop2b5]

Yeah and I was wearing sweat pants that day too. So from that day until now, I have always worn shorts under my sweat pants in fear of someone pulling down my pants. Lol

LOL! I understand.

 

[IrishLax]

Anyone else been seriously burned by an ill-timed St. Mary's joke?

 

[irishog77]

OK, the season's over, the recruits are all signed, spring practice is months away, and the next season doesn't start for a long time. There's a long offseason to get through. A little levity seems in order. We've all had a few extremely embarrassing moments in our lives. They're funny later, but not so much at the time. Everybody enjoy sharing your misery with the rest of us.

Here's mine:

In my mid-twenties, I ran into an old HS girlfriend who was with her husband and 3-year-old daughter. She hugged my neck and introduced me to her husband & daughter. I commented on how cute the little girl was and then pointing to my ex-gf's very obviously pregnant midsection said, "So, when's this one due?"

"Um. Heh. Uhh, I'm not pregnant."

Oh crap. There's nothing you can say at that point to play it off or make it better. You just have to stand there red faced, with your foot firmly stuck in your mouth, feeling like the world's biggest idiot, and wishing the ground would open up and swallow you.

Yep. After asking this same question TWICE, in a matter of a couple months to different girls I knew...I decided to forever give up talking to girls about due dates and being pregnant unless she brought the subject up first.

Chicks DEFINITELY DO NOT like being thought of as preggers when they aren't.

 

[IrishSteelhead]

This isn't really embarrassing, but in high school a dad caught me banging his daughter and put a shotgun to my head and I fainted.

*100% true story. Something I won't forget anytime soon.

 

[aubeirish]

My she-male incident is well documented...

 

[Damion704]

Im hungover in Vegas and laughed at that one ^ hahahaha

 

[Damion704]

Was sharing a room with two cousins growing up and while i was sleeping with no covers I had a boner.. guess i had a good *** dream! hahaha

 

[IrishSteelhead]

My she-male incident is well documented...

Yes it is, and it never gets old haha.

 

[Irish8248]

After a hardcore night of partying i woke up feeling completely hungover and kind of sick. My roommate and I had plans to go over to this girls house where her family made us a homemade dinner (we were in undergrad) and watch the sopranos. Being hungover and chowing down multiple plates of pasta, i could feel my stomach wasnt quite receptive to it. As we watch the sopranos, my stomach begins turning and instantly get those meat sweats. No chance in hell am i taking a dump at this chicks place. I manage to be uncomfortable for the hour. After the show i made up the excuse i had a paper to write and that we had to go. Get into the car and i told my buddy ew couldnt stop, i need to get home asap. Of course we get lost. Im dieing in the car now. Every time i rip it, i think more is coming lol... finally i told my budy to stop the car and pull over. We were on a local expressway. I run out of the car to a tree, drop my pants, and take a vicious crap.... As im doing this i realize im next to an on ramp and several cars are getting on. The headlights of each car are shinning right on me for what was about a min straight but felt like an hour. Cars then beeped at me as they passed lol. get back into the car and my buddy has already sent mass texts and was on the phone with several other people.

so not only was i incredibly uncomfortable at this chicks house who i liked, but i had to take a crap on an expressway while car headlights give everyone a clear picture, and my buddy had already alerted a bunch of our friends... Embarrassed at first but now i tell the story like a champion

 

[Irish8248]

Im hungover in Vegas and laughed at that one ^ hahahaha

I threw up on a stripper on my first trip to vegas lol

 

[Bishop2b5]

Yep. After asking this same question TWICE, in a matter of a couple months to different girls I knew...I decided to forever give up talking to girls about due dates and being pregnant unless she brought the subject up first.

Chicks DEFINITELY DO NOT like being thought of as preggers when they aren't.

I wish I could say I never made that same mistake again either, but I can't. I did it again a few years later. Yeah, you eventually learn to NEVER go there unless they bring it up.

 

[Bishop2b5]

I had another pretty bad moment. I went to see Stir Crazy with several close friends. One of them was that guy with no boundaries who couldn't be embarrassed and who would do ANYTHING for a laugh. We ended up sitting on the very front row of the theatre. At intermission before I could get out of my seat, he leapt up and stepped across me and in a very loud effiminate voice began asking me if I wanted a cheeseburger and fries. The entire audience froze and began snickering at the free show. I'm trying to get him to stop but he just pours it on. "Oh don't act all shy now that the lights are on! You were Mr Hands in the dark, big boy!"

He made me get up and walk out with him or he swore it would get worse... and I knew it would. I had to walk up the center aisle arm in arm with him and him swishing and waving at the audience and saying, "Look at my man!" The audience was roaring and loved it all. I could have killed him. We've all laughed about that one for 30 years.

 

[scUM Hater]

After a hardcore night of partying i woke up feeling completely hungover and kind of sick. My roommate and I had plans to go over to this girls house where her family made us a homemade dinner (we were in undergrad) and watch the sopranos. Being hungover and chowing down multiple plates of pasta, i could feel my stomach wasnt quite receptive to it. As we watch the sopranos, my stomach begins turning and instantly get those meat sweats. No chance in hell am i taking a dump at this chicks place. I manage to be uncomfortable for the hour. After the show i made up the excuse i had a paper to write and that we had to go. Get into the car and i told my buddy ew couldnt stop, i need to get home asap. Of course we get lost. Im dieing in the car now. Every time i rip it, i think more is coming lol... finally i told my budy to stop the car and pull over. We were on a local expressway. I run out of the car to a tree, drop my pants, and take a vicious crap.... As im doing this i realize im next to an on ramp and several cars are getting on. The headlights of each car are shinning right on me for what was about a min straight but felt like an hour. Cars then beeped at me as they passed lol. get back into the car and my buddy has already sent mass texts and was on the phone with several other people.

so not only was i incredibly uncomfortable at this chicks house who i liked, but i had to take a crap on an expressway while car headlights give everyone a clear picture, and my buddy had already alerted a bunch of our friends... Embarrassed at first but now i tell the story like a champion

Boys, I believe we have a Troll, and his name is Brady Hoke.

 

[Bluto]

Once called a girl by her friends name mid sex.

 

[TheSunIsRising]

For me: a late night naked swim with a chick in a friend's indoor pool after a party, and then doing it poolside --> only to find out afterwards that the party wasn't over, but that everyone had moved up into the kitchen which overlooked the solarium containing said pool.

My brother had a situation very much like the OP's. Friend's wife worked in a store where we were going to buy beer. She had delivered two months earlier, and 'big-mouth' greets her by saying "So, when's the baby due". I almost dropped the case of beer as the words came out of his mouth, and burst out laughing when she replied "2 months ago"

A friend of ours was having her wedding reception, and the groom's brother got up to make a toast and when he referred to his brother he got his name wrong: called him "Norman" instead of "Roman"

A lady I worked with was in a meeting with her boss, and as she was leaving his office I guess the static cling wore off because a pair of her panties fell down from the inside of her pant leg onto the floor in plain view. (she explained to me afterwards that she had done laundry the night before and must have had a pair of panties clinging inside her pant leg....uh sure, but that didn't explain the much larger year-end bonus )

 

[ulukinatme]

1995, I think I was in the 7th grade. Went to a private school growing up. During weekly mass the upperclassmen would do the readings. I was reading from the Old Testament and I botched one of the names in the reading. I had practiced it before hand, but still ended up screwing it up. Well, in my frustration I smacked my head and said "Doh!" It was bad enough saying that in a Catholic church, but the smack echoed across the microphone with the whole school, the pastor, and a few dozen parishioners in attendance. I was pretty red after that, but I ended up finishing the reading amongst the laughter and then sat back down. I fully expected to get a lecture afterwards, but I think the principal was aware that my embarrassment was punishment enough.

I've got a couple other good ones, but thats the first one that comes to mind.

 

[BobD]

Back in my bachelor days I dated this girl that had a kid. One night after a wild night on the town with some friends we headed back to her place. Her kid was spending the night at Grandma's and one of the couple's we had been out with crashed on her fold out bed in the living room for the night. The next morning when we got up, the couple that had slept in the living room was all smiles like something funny had happened. After a few inquiries about what might be so funny they finally told us that the baby monitor in her room had been on all night. They listened to it all.

 

[scUM Hater]

Oh boy......here we go. Middle school 7th grade. I remember the whole class sitting in a circle and individuals had to read excerpts from a book. I had a horrible gas build up in my abdomen. I let one rip (by accident). I just started "going" out with a chick and after it squeaked out a girl said, "your boyfriend just farted". Oh the horror.

 

[ulukinatme]

Oh boy......here we go. Middle school 7th grade. I remember the whole class sitting in a circle and individuals had to read excerpts from a book. I had a horrible gas build up in my abdomen. I let one rip (by accident). I just started "going" out with a chick and after it squeaked out a girl said, "your boyfriend just farted". Oh the horror.

Ha, this one kind of reminded me of another one from school, although not as embarrassing. When I was in the 4th grade I was reading a current events story in front of the class. I remember being pretty excited about reading the story because it was about a kid that saved his Cocker Spaniel from choking and I had the same dog at the time and was the same age. Well...I knew what the word was, but I had another slip of the tongue and said Heimlich "manure" instead, much to the delight of the class. Public speaking isn't my forte.

Which leads me to another story. I was in an Honors English class Junior year of high school. Some of the best and brightest were part of the class, clearly I didn't belong Anyway, we were doing speeches in class and the day before mine a girl did a speech on why soccer is the greatest sport. I had planned on doing a speech about the internet, but I canned it after I heard the soccer speech. I devised an entirely new report that night to explain why football was the best. It was well thought out, and it basically destroyed all the points the previous speaker made.

Well, come speech time I don't know if a lack of sleep was the cause, or the fact I had just transferred schools and didn't know many people, but...my knees/legs would not stop shaking uncontrollably and quite involuntarily. They weren't shaking side to side like in a cartoon, it was more like up and down. I had plenty of speech experience from grade school to high school, but the lack of a podium may have made me feel more uncomfortable. Anyway, everyone was pretty aware of my shaking knees and I just had to smile through the whole thing. At one point mid speech I actually grabbed my knees and tried to hold them still, but that just made it worse. Instead of just my knees shaking, my whole body began shaking as I tried to hold my knees still. I finally finished the ordeal, sat back down, and slammed my head on the desk. Needless to say, I don't think my shaking helped convince anyone that football was > soccer.

 

[BeauBenken]

Elementary school - Told my friends to go ahead and tell the girl I had had a crush on for years how I felt, they did in the morning, before I had yet gotten to school, and in front of most of the 4th and 5th grade. And her response was apparently a loud "Ew!" that everyone heard.

Another elementary school crush of mine was in front of me in the lunch line talking to her friend. Dying to talk to her, I jumped into their discussion which I thought was about grapes with, "I love grapes!" This was followed by a long awkward stare from the two of them as it turned out they were definitely not talking about grapes.

Again in about the 5th grade, my friend and I were playing Battleship alone in his house. I told him I wasn't going to pick up the pieces because I won. We got into a fake fight. I started running with him chasing me. I grabbed his phone and threatened to call the cops. He still came after me so I dialed 911. Then I realized it had actually dialed the call in so I quickly hung up. Turns out they still trace the calls though. A cop shows up asking what the call was for. We told him I didn't mean to, but he looked at me like I was an idiot and asked, "how old are you?" Luckily my friend being an amazing liar, chimed in, "he's only 7" and the officer bought it because I was so small back then.

 

[BGIF]

Elementary school - Told my friends to go ahead and tell the girl I had had a crush on for years how I felt, they did in the morning, before I had yet gotten to school, and in front of most of the 4th and 5th grade. And her response was apparently a loud "Ew!" that everyone heard.

Another elementary school crush of mine was in front of me in the lunch line talking to her friend. Dying to talk to her, I jumped into their discussion which I thought was about grapes with, "I love grapes!" This was followed by a long awkward stare from the two of them as it turned out they were definitely not talking about grapes.

Again in about the 5th grade, my friend and I were playing Battleship alone in his house. I told him I wasn't going to pick up the pieces because I won. We got into a fake fight. I started running with him chasing me. I grabbed his phone and threatened to call the cops. He still came after me so I dialed 911. Then I realized it had actually dialed the call in so I quickly hung up. Turns out they still trace the calls though. A cop shows up asking what the call was for. We told him I didn't mean to, but he looked at me like I was an idiot and asked, "how old are you?" Luckily my friend being an amazing liar, chimed in, "he's only 7" and the officer bought it because I was so small back then.

So ... the past year was the worse in your life. 6th grade will be better for you.

 

[Fbolt]

Beautiful!

 

[woolybug25]

Ha, this one kind of reminded me of another one from school, although not as embarrassing. When I was in the 4th grade I was reading a current events story in front of the class. I remember being pretty excited about reading the story because it was about a kid that saved his Cocker Spaniel from choking and I had the same dog at the time and was the same age. Well...I knew what the word was, but I had another slip of the tongue and said Heimlich "manure" instead, much to the delight of the class. Public speaking isn't my forte.

Which leads me to another story. I was in an Honors English class Junior year of high school. Some of the best and brightest were part of the class, clearly I didn't belong Anyway, we were doing speeches in class and the day before mine a girl did a speech on why soccer is the greatest sport. I had planned on doing a speech about the internet, but I canned it after I heard the soccer speech. I devised an entirely new report that night to explain why football was the best. It was well thought out, and it basically destroyed all the points the previous speaker made.

Well, come speech time I don't know if a lack of sleep was the cause, or the fact I had just transferred schools and didn't know many people, but...my knees/legs would not stop shaking uncontrollably and quite involuntarily. They weren't shaking side to side like in a cartoon, it was more like up and down. I had plenty of speech experience from grade school to high school, but the lack of a podium may have made me feel more uncomfortable. Anyway, everyone was pretty aware of my shaking knees and I just had to smile through the whole thing. At one point mid speech I actually grabbed my knees and tried to hold them still, but that just made it worse. Instead of just my knees shaking, my whole body began shaking as I tried to hold my knees still. I finally finished the ordeal, sat back down, and slammed my head on the desk. Needless to say, I don't think my shaking helped convince anyone that football was > soccer.

C'mon, choirboy. Those are the best you got? A mispoken bible reading and a couple public speaking gaffes? Go take some risks, grasshopper. You haven't lived until you have gotten stranded in Vegas or realized an Adam's apple too late.


Long ago, in my bachelor days (don't they all start that way?). My roomate and I brought back some ladies from the bar. I was in my room with one and fell asleep while messing around. I know that I fell asleep because I woke myself up in an alarm when I let a huge fart rip. It was a big one too. Bless that poor girl's soul, she acted like it didn't even happen. She was probably just as embarrassed considering her current placement.

My buddy has forever referred to the incident as the Rumble Stick move.

 

[arrowryan]

8th grade year in church- You guys know that little silent part after communion? Well we have wooden pews and I ripped one. When I said I ripped one, I let the whole church know. The sound ricocheted off the pew and echoed throughout the whole church..

 

[Bogtrotter07]

Back in my bachelor days I dated this girl that had a kid. One night after a wild night on the town with some friends we headed back to her place. Her kid was spending the night at Grandma's and one of the couple's we had been out with crashed on her fold out bed in the living room for the night. The next morning when we got up, the couple that had slept in the living room was all smiles like something funny had happened. After a few inquiries about what might be so funny they finally told us that the baby monitor in her room had been on all night. They listened to it all.

Low tech version of the same thing. Ex and I went to a retreat weekend. It was in a converted convent. The rooms were small, the bed smaller and terribly austere. It was one of those things where you went to bed after dark (quite early), and got up at the crack of dawn.) On top of that, the beds were very old, and had springs and metal bands. What we didn't know is that the building had an old gravity heat system, so you had these cavernous ducts in an out of every room. At one point the whole of the seminar gathered in the hall to figure out the origins of the unmistakable sound. We arrived at breakfast to a standing ovation. Stifled laughter punctuated the rest of the seminar. Nine months later we named our daughter "Grace."

 

[Bogtrotter07]

So ... the past year was the worse in your life. 6th grade will be better for you.

Oh shiitake mushrooms! BGIF that is funny! Gosh, Beau, then this post is the most embarrassing moment of your life?