Broke ass college stories

[ACamp1900]

Let’s share them... I got a good one..


Sophomore year of college I'm living in a nice apartment in San Bernardino... me and a buddy are talking about how we are sick of eating Romin all the time so I get an idea... we take a pen and pad to the local Vons... every single General Merchandise product in the store that either of us want but couldn't afford at the time we right down the customer service number, serial number so on and so on... after about two full hours of this we head back to my apartment, get on the phone and call EVERY single fucking company... something along the lines of, "Well I never usually do this and I usually LOVE your product but I bought it today and man! There was something horribly wrong with the taste this time around... and it isn’t cheap stuff you know? Anything you can do to keep a loyal customer loyal here???" All they needed was the proof of purchase serial number.... lol

Long to short we ended up with two hundred dollars worth of free groceries EACH all from company mailed coupons... the funniest part was the looks the cashier and others were giving us while checking out... EACH coupon had to be individually signed and cleared... took forever....

But yeah I ate well for a long while on that one!!! Always thought of trying that shit again someday...

 

[gallup21]

ill remember to try that when im at college lol

 

[Jason Pham]

Hahaha. That is awesome. Reps for creativity and follow through.

 

[johnnd05]

My story has a less happy ending than ACamp's: I came to Notre Dame after doing my undergrad in a big metro. area, and couldn't believe how cheap the drinks were out in shitville. Plus I signed up for my first "real" credit card (as opposed to a check card). Long and short of it is, I drank way too much, nearly died several times, and ran up massive debt. What a dumbass.

For all you pre-college-age kids out there, the moral of the story is: if you go out drinking with money you don't have, try turning tricks in the parking lot to fund your debauchery. And -- seriously -- don't even HAVE a car: they both divert your cash flow from more important things (Papa's gotta have his OWN kind of gas!), and drastically increases the odds of a deeply unhappy ending.

 

[stonebreakerwasgod]

Great advice from someone who has been there. I think we all could have died at some point in college. Which is why I'm not the first one to line up a firing squad for a kid who makes a mistake.

 

[IRISHDODGER]

I shredded my knee during my junior yr. of college & couldn't work for awhile due to PT & being on crutches, etc. Someone suggested I go to the local welfare office...what's the worst that could happen? I was the only male in the waiting room as most of the applicants were young, single pregnant chicks signing up to get on the public dole. I get back to talk to the counselor & he says to me that they have had tuition reimbursement for trade schools & technical colleges for disabled students, but he hadn't tried a university yet. He said "What the hell, let's apply for it & see what happens!" You can only imagine how ecstatic I was when I went to pay tuition & fees & the university paid ME back the amt of tuition in cold hard cash. This lasted for two add'l semesters where I was able to pay of the bookie in addition to buying some stylin' threads & some tight kicks. Good times.

 

[portlaNDgal]

Not college, but first year post college...

I was a Holy Cross Associate in Oakland my first year out of school. Six of us shared a 2-bedroom house in a neighborhood full o' crack dealers. We got a princely $60 per month stipend which went for the occasional cup of coffee or beer. I wore the same pair of shoes for 8 months, a pair of loafers with soles that flapped whenever I walked (my second pair of "work" shoes were in worse shape so had to stop wearing them to the office). One of my favorite shirts was so worn that the cloth rotted so the buttons wouldn't stay sewn on.

 

[ACamp1900]

I think this may be worth a ****** offseason bump... anyone have some good stories??

 

[Rack Em]

Senior year at ND I would use my flex points at Subway on campus and I always kept the cups. When I'd go pregame someplace, I'd pour Gran Legacy rum (that's the CVS brand) in one of them, walk over to LaFun and fill it up with Coke. By the time I got where I was going (usually about 20 minutes of walking) I was already lit. Throw a few beers back and coast through the night.

When I was out of cups I would throw on "My Sacrifice" by CREED and slam as many shots as I could stomach during the song. Usually I'd stop around 5-6 so I would puke it all back up.

I'm convinced these saved me a decent amount of money each week.

 

[Irish8248]

i buy handles of McCormick Vodka -- regularly -- and I like it... Not being able to afford or willing to splurge for the "good stuff" has led me down a road where I can now say I actually enjoy McCormicks over Absolute or Smirnoff

My friends insist I have a problem, I insist they overpay to get drunk

 

[irishog77]

Senior year at ND I would use my flex points at Subway on campus and I always kept the cups. When I'd go pregame someplace, I'd pour Gran Legacy rum (that's the CVS brand) in one of them, walk over to LaFun and fill it up with Coke. By the time I got where I was going (usually about 20 minutes of walking) I was already lit. Throw a few beers back and coast through the night.

When I was out of cups I would throw on "My Sacrifice" by CREED and slam as many shots as I could stomach during the song. Usually I'd stop around 5-6 so I would puke it all back up.

I'm convinced these saved me a decent amount of money each week.

What, no mention of your proclivity to pass out a hand jibber or two...for the right price, dude?

 

[Emcee77]

This isn't my story, but I like it so I'll tell it anyway. I was in college at ND during the improbable (and misleading) 8-0 start in 2002. I had a roommate who discovered online betting the preceding summer. Every game, he bet on ND. Every game, we covered. After several weeks of this, he had a nice chunk of change, and he decided to invest it. Two weeks before the BC game, he made hundreds of knockoff T-shirts shirts that were exact replicas of those gold "Boston College Superfan" shirts, except they said "Backup College -- Closet Fan" and the eagle was wearing a green leprechaun hat. The shirts sold like hotcakes. My friend made literally thousands of dollars that semester from his combined gambling/illegal T-shirt operation, which money he used to finance his travel when he studied abroad the following semester. Never mind that the bad juju he generated caused us to lose the BC game and plunged the program into a tailspin from which we are only now recovering ... he made some nice cash for a college student.

 

[IrishSpartan]

Vlad Vodka half gallon and Mio. NO chasers needed and all together 7 dollars.

 

[NDFANnSouthWest]

First year of college (New Mexico State) spent all our money on beer the night before...well my roommate and I were starving so we went out to the desert with two twelve gauge shotguns and killed some quails and cotton tails-- brought them back to the dorm and had a barbecue.

 

[IrishSteelhead]

We bought a few handles of top shelf tequila, vodka, etc. at the beginning of the year, and then refilled it with cheap stuff over and over so the ladies wouldn't complain about drinking it. They never noticed...

 

[ACamp1900]

First year of college (New Mexico State) spent all our money on beer the night before...well my roommate and I were starving so we went out to the desert with two twelve gauge shotguns and killed some quails and cotton tails-- brought them back to the dorm and had a barbecue.

Ha,.. that reminds me, the same buddy that i pulled the coupon scam with went Coyote hunting with me one night... though we didn't have any guns... just "The Club" from his car... lol... neddless to say we had a few and weren't very successful.

 

[Bogtrotter07]

First year of college (New Mexico State) spent all our money on beer the night before...well my roommate and I were starving so we went out to the desert with two twelve gauge shotguns and killed some quails and cotton tails-- brought them back to the dorm and had a barbecue.

Reminded me of when I was in college. We were headed down old 23 to Columbus and this giant buck jumped right out in front of us. It was late at night, the car was full, we were all lit, but we took that buck with minimal damage. (How fukkin' lucky for a bunch of dumasses!)

Anyway we pull in to the dorm and we pull that old dear right out on the hood and clean it right there! We had empty coolers, (beer) and plenty of bags. We took our gear upstairs, with a clean change of britches, then we threw the innards down the sewer, and by that time they had the rack, the skin and the carcass separated. In the meantime, one of the well connected drunkards in our elite crew found a place we could store the meat. We were all a mess, so we took off made our stops, washed the car off, (the damage hardly showed) and about sunrise we returned to the scene of the crime. I mean no shiit!

There were police coming out of the woodwork. We had no idea! The blood stain, and it was clearly blood stretched most of the way from the edge of the lot to the sewer in the middle.There were terrified traumatized co-eds who reported seeing a murder (we believe, but it didn't take much to see there was no body). I mean the crowd gathered was second only to the ones I saw in the streaking heyday, spring of 19and73! There were people, probably the grandparents of today's CSI's, collecting blood samples and people taking pictures. There were a couple of ambulances standing by with nothing to do. We just kept to the back of the crowd and squished away quietly. We felt kind of bad.

Made things kind of exciting for the next couple of weeks, we heard.

 

[TheTurningPoint]

One of the finer establishments in Delaware, Ohio, is the 7-11 on main st. When I would go visit a few buddies at OWU, we would get a oversized backpack, put a empty case in the back. Walk into the 7-11 and one guy would empty a case from the cooler and stock the empty case in the backpack...while the other 2-3 people would distract the cashier lol. Worked like a charm.

 

[notredomer23]

Walked into J+B liquor this year just over the border in Michigan(They don't card) and paid for a bottle of Mr. Boston Vodka in quarters. Got back and mixed it with gatorade powder. It didn't turn out too well, don't remember much, and the night was a s#it show.

 

[Black Irish]

I was working as a retail clerk in college and had worn a hole in the bottom of one of my work shoes. Buying a new pair wasn't an option but I didn't want people to see my white socks through the hole when I was kneeling down to stock shelves. So I took a black marker and colored that part of my socks so the hole wouldn't be as noticeable. I also had to use a pin to replace the button on my work pants for awhile too. I obviously needed a better paying job.

 

[IrishinTN]

Sophomore year I decided to stay at college for the summer because A) It was great fun and B) My girlfriend (now wife) was staying too. So I got a job at the Sears, however I did not get a paycheck for the first two weeks because they hold a check.

I had no money to speak of and nothing on my shelves except two loaves of bread, a huge bag of Good's potato chips (that my parents had sent me) and a jar of mustard. So, for nearly two weeks that summer, all meals except those I could sponge off my girlfriend were potato chip sandwiches. Sometimes I splurged and allowed myself to eat two.

The thing is, I had just moved into a new room in my fraternity house. When I looked in the back of the closet after the two weeks living on potato chip sandwiches and water, I found a box.

I brought it into my living area and opened it...chock full of canned food. I had a plethora of edible delights only feet away, and I never looked. Oy...

 

[T Town Tommy]

A couple of stories from my college days at Western Ky University.

Back when Domino's had the 30 minute or less delivery guarantee ( remember those days) we lived on the fringe of the delivery area and would order two pizzas every other day or so. The poor delivery guys never made it on time - we would turn out all the lights so he couldn't see the house number. When they would finally arrive we would answer the door and would not say a word... just hand over the pizzas. And we never even tipped the poor guys.

Second one... we bought so many kegs of beer from the local Kroger's that we ended up developing a great relationship with the workers. They would let us go to the cooler and get our own keg and tote it back out to the register. While in the cooler we would change the cap on the keg that tells which brand of beer it was. We would swap the Michelob cap with the Milwaukee's Best and save about $10 a keg. Fun times awaited.

 

[NOLAIrish]

Sophomore year of undergrad, I was dead broke by the time Mardi Gras-weekend rolled around. A buddy of mine decided we were all going to go downtown and charm the tourists into getting us smashed on their dime. I remember it working. And then I don't remember much. And then I have a distinct memory of waking up. On the roof of a random house in the Garden District. With my feet braced against a ledge. And a searing pain in my shoulders.

Best I could piece together, this is what happened:
We went downtown on the temporary buses (streetcar replacements since there's no service during many of the parades). We got Mardi Gras-level drunk and realized that the bus service had stopped running the downtown-Uptown route, so we started stumbling back to Uptown (about 6 miles). On the way, we came across a house party in a camelback shotgun and invited ourselves in. At some point in the course of events, several of us enticed a few of the party guests to come out onto the lower roof with us. Where the lower section met the "hump" of the camelback, there was a vertical ledge about 5 feet wide running between the two roof sections. In our drunken stupor, we decided that would make the perfect bed, so I braced myself against the ledge, laid back on the inclined roof and passed out. My lady friend had passed out a few feet above me and decided to use my shoulders for support, which would've been much more comfortable if she'd taken her heels off first. My buddy was on the other side of the roof, entwined with a very confused-looking woman. Eventually we slipped down off the side of the roof and walked back to our apartments looking like absolute death (so, just like everyone else during Mardi Gras).

Total cost: $1.25 to take the bus downtown.

 

[ACamp1900]

LOL at the last few.. btw how does T Town have a full rep bar with only four posts... impressive.

 

[dshans]

Not so much broke-*** as cheap-*** and cagey:

Freshman year at orientation there was a coupon in the "Welcome to Notre Dame" info packet from Burger King for a free Whopper. I noticed that they had the caveat that it was good for three days only but not "One per customer."

So I gathered up about 15, hopped on my spiffy new ten speed and returned to the dorm for a Whopper party with my newly minted friends. The following day I went back with about 50 coupons. When the manager saw me he rolled his eyes, filled my backpack and politely asked me not to come back.

 

[Bishop2b5]

Junior year at Bama I knocked my toothbrush off the bathroom counter into the toilet. I was too broke to buy a new one so I washed it then put it on the stove to boil in a pan of water. A few minutes later friends dropped by and invited me to lunch, their treat. I forgot about the toothbrush. Got home an hour or so later and the pan had boiled dry, the toothbrush had melted and charred, and my apt was full of smoke and the smell of burning plastic. I had to throw the pan away and a friend bought me a new toothbrush. Nothing like being that broke in college to make you appreciate better times later.

 

[RDU Irish]

Used to swing by the ticket office in frequently seeing if any tickets were returned so I could scalp them. Only had a $500 limit on my new Discover card to so I could only get a three pairs of tickets max, something like that. Then needed to sell them within a month to pay the bill off since I was broke. Since the team wasn't quite up to snuff from 94-97 it got a little stressful at times and had to be increasingly selective with games and tickets. Plus I worked before games so I had to sell the tickets in advance. Most of the time I was happy to get five or ten bucks per ticket profit selling to friends.

Remember one of the USC games I got 3 good pairs of tickets, think I doubled my money and felt pretty large for a while. Never had so much cash in my pocket and just stressed out over such a big "score".

 

[ACamp1900]

Junior year at Bama I knocked my toothbrush off the bathroom counter into the toilet. I was too broke to buy a new one so I washed it then put it on the stove to boil in a pan of water. A few minutes later friends dropped by and invited me to lunch, their treat. I forgot about the toothbrush. Got home an hour or so later and the pan had boiled dry, the toothbrush had melted and charred, and my apt was full of smoke and the smell of burning plastic. I had to throw the pan away and a friend bought me a new toothbrush. Nothing like being that broke in college to make you appreciate better times later.

This reminds me of a horrible story about a friend from college... I started at Cal St. and one of the dorms there is all girl... Well a buddy of mine was trying to get with one of the girls from that dorm and everything was going as planned for a week or so... Then the other girls started doing their typical catty blocking and telling stories that may or may not have been true about my buddy... long to short, they destroyed the budding relationship before my buddy could get what he wanted...

so this is what he did to get back at the all-girl dorm that cockblocked him:

He broke into their kitchen at like three in the morning, stole their biggest pot, took it to the bathroom and apparently did his business... he then went back to the kitchen with his 'stew' and put the mixture to boil and left... one could only imagine the smell... the old Cal St dorms have pretty bad ventilation systems and if something is 'amiss' in one area the whole building smells up... as he told it he then broke into the adjacent dormitory, found a spot on the community balcony facing the girls dorm and sat for an hour taking it in as the whole dorm came alive with disgust... college.

 

[NDFANnSouthWest]

So i played D1 ball at University of New Mexico...well 1 night me and my buddies/teammates decided to go on a pantie raid the Kappa Kappa Gamma house....well as you could imagine we were all running around the girls were yelling....my buddy Jack J. decided to put a pair of panties on his head...well i looked over and there was a STREAK down the middle of the white Panties. We were laughing so hard yet he had no idea until he looked in the mirror. Classic!

 

[Bogtrotter07]

This reminds me of a horrible story about a friend from college... I started at Cal St. and one of the dorms there is all girl... Well a buddy of mine was trying to get with one of the girls from that dorm and everything was going as planned for a week or so... Then the other girls started doing their typical catty blocking and telling stories that may or may not have been true about my buddy... long to short, they destroyed the budding relationship before my buddy could get what he wanted...

so this is what he did to get back at the all-girl dorm that cockblocked him:

He broke into their kitchen at like three in the morning, stole their biggest pot, took it to the bathroom and apparently did his business... he then went back to the kitchen with his 'stew' and put the mixture to boil and left... one could only imagine the smell... the old Cal St dorms have pretty bad ventilation systems and if something is 'amiss' in one area the whole building smells up... as he told it he then broke into the adjacent dormitory, found a spot on the community balcony facing the girls dorm and sat for an hour taking it in as the whole dorm came alive with disgust... college.

Shiity story.