Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[Irish#1]

have you tried a shock collar.
crate training is underrated as well.

Years ago when we were breeding Blueticks we had one that would bark all the time. I decided to buy a bark collar. I was testing it per the instructions when my wife took it from me and said, “let me take a look at it”. As she raised it to her throat, she started to talk. Her face lit up and the collar went flying.

What’s the name of this thread? Lol

 

[Irish YJ]

Years ago when we were breeding Blueticks we had one that would bark all the time. I decided to buy a bark collar. I was testing it per the instructions when my wife took it from me and said, “let me take a look at it”. As she raised it to her throat, she started to talk. Her face lit up and the collar went flying.

What’s the name of this thread? Lol

so how long did it take to train her?

 

[Irish#1]

so how long did it take to train her?

45 years and still working on it. Lol

 

[wizards8507]

My pain in the ass mother in-law finally did something useful. Got me this dope ass bookshelf made from a salvaged canoe in Maine.

 

[zelezo vlk]

Neat

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[Irish YJ]

that looks like a great place to hold a bunch of high end hooch

 

[BGIF]

My pain in the ass mother in-law finally did something useful. Got me this dope ass bookshelf made from a salvaged canoe in Maine.

Very '80's preppy

 

[Irish YJ]

if you put a box of summer's eve on the shelf, would it be a douche canoe?

 

[wizards8507]

Very '80's preppy

if you put a box of summer's eve on the shelf, would it be a douche canoe?

I'm gonna stock it with all of my douchiest possessions. I have this Tommy Hilfiger coffee table book called "New England: Icons, Influences, and Inspirations from the American Northeast." That should be a good start.

 

[Irish YJ]

I'm gonna stock it with all of my douchiest possessions. I have this Tommy Hilfiger coffee table book called "New England: Icons, Influences, and Inspirations from the American Northeast." That should be a good start.

do you have any ESPN office award thingys?

 

[IrishLion]

My pain in the ass mother in-law finally did something useful. Got me this dope ass bookshelf made from a salvaged canoe in Maine.

I'm gonna stock it with all of my douchiest possessions. I have this Tommy Hilfiger coffee table book called "New England: Icons, Influences, and Inspirations from the American Northeast." That should be a good start.

I'm trying to figure out if Wooly would attack you relentlessly about this, something along the lines of, "Real men go out in the canoe, they don't put it in their yuppy living room"

OR

If he'd be at home getting a semi-chub at the clash of quality workmanship and a love for the outdoors.

I miss that guy sometimes.

 

[Irish#1]

I'm gonna stock it with all of my douchiest possessions. I have this Tommy Hilfiger coffee table book called "New England: Icons, Influences, and Inspirations from the American Northeast." That should be a good start.

I figured you could stock it with those 50+ pairs of shoes you own.

 

[ACamp1900]

Those rugs tho...

 

[wizards8507]

Those rugs tho...

She's a 70 year old lady.

 

[mango4]

Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

My wife thought a block in the back penalty was a block in the backfield. I’m also pretty sure I’ve explained to her a couple times that is not the case in the past.


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[ulukinatme]

My pain in the ass mother in-law finally did something useful. Got me this dope ass bookshelf made from a salvaged canoe in Maine.

Be careful, that's how it starts. Then the daughter starts hoarding weirder collectibles and "gems" they find at garage sales and swap meets. Just ask Mitch Cumsteen in Surly Texas' version of this thread, he has some gems in there:
https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/index.php?/topic/104-wives-and-the-stupid-shit-they-saydo/&

 

[IrishAlum1997]

I've got one:

"Kick the field goal."

 

[Irish#1]

I got four tix to the Clemson game courtesy of AT&T. Last night I get an email telling me they moved us to their suite. I tell my wife and she says, "I'm not sure I want to go. There is supposed to be flooding in Dallas." Dear that rain is this week. We have a week and a half before we go.

 

[BabyIrish]

I got four tix to the Clemson game courtesy of AT&T. Last night I get an email telling me they moved us to their suite. I tell my wife and she says, "I'm not sure I want to go. There is supposed to be flooding in Dallas." Dear that rain is this week. We have a week and a half before we go.

Leave her home and take me. I'll steal Wiz's canoe shelf and boat you through the flood.

 

[IrishLion]

Went to get the kids' picture with Santa two Saturdays ago. It was just gonna be the kids, so we got them dressed up nice, while the wife and I were in casual gear, wife hadn't done her hair and makeup, etc.

So, the 3-month old does great, grinning at Santa and smiling big, because she's 3 months old... that's what she does. The 2yo was happy and excited to see Santa, kept trying to cut in line and peek around the other families, stuff like that.

That is, until we finally get up there. While the 3mo is doing great in Santa's arms, the 2yo decides that the situation is kind of weird, and refuses to sit with Santa or in the chair next to him. I try to scoot him towards the chair, he does the instinctual defense of every toddler and goes completely limp.

The compromise ended up being that my wife and I would be in the picture, me holding the 2yo, and it was a group photo.

Afterwards, my wife was PISSED. She said "you look fine in your jeans and hoodie, I look like shit without my makeup and hair done" (spoiler alert: she does not look like shit. I outkicked my coverage).

She then informs me that we will retry pictures next week, and that "we will all dress up nice this time." Direct quote that I remember word-for-word.

So, last Saturday, I get up, get the 2yo dressed in his Christmas tshirt with some jeans and boots, put on my own nice jeans, boots, and then grab one of my decent flannel button-ups.

My wife is upstairs getting the baby ready, then comes down and sees me buttoning up my shirt.


WIFE: What are you wearing?

ME: One of my flannels? It's green, I thought it was nice and Christmas-y.

WIFE: Why are you trying to look nicer than everyone again?

ME: You said we were ALL going to dress up nice this time.

WIFE: ...

ME: ...

WIFE: I meant that I was going to do my hair and makeup this time. You looked fine last week. [huffs and puffs] Now I have to go change my shirt [rolls eyes].

ME: [rage burns internally]

 

[ulukinatme]

Went to get the kids' picture with Santa two Saturdays ago. It was just gonna be the kids, so we got them dressed up nice, while the wife and I were in casual gear, wife hadn't done her hair and makeup, etc.

So, the 3-month old does great, grinning at Santa and smiling big, because she's 3 months old... that's what she does. The 2yo was happy and excited to see Santa, kept trying to cut in line and peek around the other families, stuff like that.

That is, until we finally get up there. While the 3mo is doing great in Santa's arms, the 2yo decides that the situation is kind of weird, and refuses to sit with Santa or in the chair next to him. I try to scoot him towards the chair, he does the instinctual defense of every toddler and goes completely limp.

The compromise ended up being that my wife and I would be in the picture, me holding the 2yo, and it was a group photo.

Afterwards, my wife was PISSED. She said "you look fine in your jeans and hoodie, I look like shit without my makeup and hair done" (spoiler alert: she does not look like shit. I outkicked my coverage).

She then informs me that we will retry pictures next week, and that "we will all dress up nice this time." Direct quote that I remember word-for-word.

So, last Saturday, I get up, get the 2yo dressed in his Christmas tshirt with some jeans and boots, put on my own nice jeans, boots, and then grab one of my decent flannel button-ups.

My wife is upstairs getting the baby ready, then comes down and sees me buttoning up my shirt.


WIFE: What are you wearing?

ME: One of my flannels? It's green, I thought it was nice and Christmas-y.

WIFE: Why are you trying to look nicer than everyone again?

ME: You said we were ALL going to dress up nice this time.

WIFE: ...

ME: ...

WIFE: I meant that I was going to do my hair and makeup this time. You looked fine last week. [huffs and puffs] Now I have to go change my shirt [rolls eyes].

ME: [rage burns internally]

Reps. The funny thing is 30-40 years ago flannel would in no way be considered "looking nice" and would be super casual.

You could tell her that in 10-20 years she won't care what she looks like in the pictures, she'll just enjoy seeing them and remembering...but I think she won't like your tone today.

 

[IrishLion]

Reps. The funny thing is 30-40 years ago flannel would in no way be considered "looking nice" and would be super casual.

You could tell her that in 10-20 years she won't care what she looks like in the pictures, she'll just enjoy seeing them and remembering...but I think she won't like your tone today.

It qualifies as "nice" in my wardrobe... if I'm not "dressed up," I'm wearing ND gear or a local crew tshirt lol.

 

[Circa]

I got four tix to the Clemson game courtesy of AT&T. Last night I get an email telling me they moved us to their suite. I tell my wife and she says, "I'm not sure I want to go. There is supposed to be flooding in Dallas." Dear that rain is this week. We have a week and a half before we go.

Me and my wife in the same scenario..<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/eFMu1eWQMQ0Q8" width="480" height="258" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/flood-eFMu1eWQMQ0Q8">via GIPHY</a></p>

 

[Irish#1]

I noticed that the toilet in our half bath was leaking at the base. Nothing major but I noticed there appeared to be moisture around the base. It was a special order to match the sink. I pull the toilet and decide since it is about 15 years old (still works good and looks great) I would not only replace the ring but the gaskets, valve and bolts on the tank.

I take it apart and my wife decides she wants to join the party by cleaning the inside of the tank. We're on a well so it had a rust color. I tell her it's not necessary since no one sees it and it isn't affecting the functionality. She take the tank and puts it in the kitchen sink to clean it. After she cleans it, I try to take it out of the sink, but it's wedged tight against the sides of the sink. I finally get it out and notice there is a crack in the tank that wasn't there before. I tell her there is a crack in the tank. Didn't accuse her, just mentioned it. Of course she tells me I had to break it trying to get it out of the sink. Yes dear, but if you would have left well enough alone.

Found a replacement tank online, but it's $350 and ships from Portugal. I tell her I'm not spending that much money when a new toilet is less. She picks out the new toilet, but is not happy because it's not the same model as the previous one. It's all my fault because I wanted to fix a leak before it ruined the floor. lol

 

[IrishLion]

My wife was going grocery shopping, so I asked for honeycrisp apples (crispy and juicy) and romaine blend salad (I like the carrots and cabbage in my lettuce, for variety).

She returned with gala apples (like eating a potato) and hearts of romaine (just plain lettuce, no variety).

I said, "thanks for getting my stuff at the store. Next time, can you get honeycrisp apples and romaine blend?"

She's now mad at me for being unappreciative lol.

 

[Rack Em]

My wife was going grocery shopping, so I asked for honeycrisp apples (crispy and juicy) and romaine blend salad (I like the carrots and cabbage in my lettuce, for variety).

She returned with gala apples (like eating a potato) and hearts of romaine (just plain lettuce, no variety).

I said, "thanks for getting my stuff at the store. Next time, can you get honeycrisp apples and romaine blend?"

She's now mad at me for being unappreciative lol.

She probably expected her husband to eat meat, not rabbit food. Here are some words to live by:

"The food of my food is not my food.

- Wayne Gretzky
- Michael Scott
- Rack"

 

[zelezo vlk]

My wife was going grocery shopping, so I asked for honeycrisp apples (crispy and juicy) and romaine blend salad (I like the carrots and cabbage in my lettuce, for variety).

She returned with gala apples (like eating a potato) and hearts of romaine (just plain lettuce, no variety).

I said, "thanks for getting my stuff at the store. Next time, can you get honeycrisp apples and romaine blend?"

She's now mad at me for being unappreciative lol.

I was expecting the passive-aggressive replies to come from wives, not the husbands.

 

[calvegas04]

My pain in the ass mother in-law finally did something useful. Got me this dope ass bookshelf made from a salvaged canoe in Maine.

would be fire wood for me

 

[GowerND11]

She probably expected her husband to eat meat, not rabbit food. Here are some words to live by:

"The food of my food is not my food.

- Wayne Gretzky
- Michael Scott
- Rack"

 

[IrishLion]

She probably expected her husband to eat meat, not rabbit food. Here are some words to live by:

"The food of my food is not my food.

- Wayne Gretzky
- Michael Scott
- Rack"

Don't worry... Chicken or steak goes on the salad, and there is always meat for dinner.