The poverty in here is disgusting.
I'm gonna take my family to Gatlinburg this fall, and we are gonna enjoy every goddamn poors-friendly, white-trashy, budget-friendly minute of it.
I'm gonna drink coffee on the porch in the cold mountain air early in the morning and have some bacon that's been fried up on a bad cast-iron skillet that belongs to the cabin and hasn't been taken care of.
Then I'm gonna take my wife and kids into town for games and activities during the day, which will be wonderfully miserable. Even though it will be October or early November, it will probably be 85 degrees by noon for some reason, and I will sweat and get stressed out trying to navigate Pigeon Forge with children.
Then we'll go 'shopping,' which really just consists of browsing in a bunch of crappy shops where you don't really want or need to buy anything, except for the gold-plated Dale Earnhardt Zippo Lighter, because everybody needs one of those. #RIPIntimidator
Then we'll have a great* dinner at the Apple Barn before heading back into the mountains, where I'll convince my wife to get in the hot tub while we drink copious amounts of cheap beer (Naturdays, don't @ me). I'll be hopeful that drunken sex will follow, but really what will happen is I will come out of the bathroom to find that my wife is already asleep.
I will then turn on football in the bedroom, and fall asleep before watching a full quarter of action.
It's gonna be amazing.
*Apple Fritters are dope, but the rest of the food is bad. I've come to terms with this in the past two years, and I'm dealing with it on a day-to-day basis. It's a struggle.
