Strong Men Cry Too.

[ginman]

Premarital therapy

 

[no.1IrishFan]

if she was fine before the pregnancy then i would lean more towards that being the issue...her hormones are acting on her which exacerbateS her mood but can change frequently...it can be anything which triggers a change in mood....i have been in your shoes, minus the logical and reasonable prior to being pregnant...scary scary thing for a mom because of all of the unknowns, plus she probably isn't sleeping well most of the nights, she prob isn't feeling very good about herself because of the body changes etc...it does a lot to the psyche of the person...then you have your own needs which get put on the back burner because she and the soon to be kids are #1...it does a lot to yours as well...we all have a hierarchy of needs and when they are not being met it causes issues...i would try to sit down w/ your fiance and discuss things...NO finger pointing, just point out how you feel when she does things...and ask if there are things you could possibly do for her to help her ...its a starting point...but having resentment at the early stage before marriage isn't good and it will only continue to fester...trust me communication is key! if she respects you she will talk it through w/ you

This is pretty much how I'm feeling. It has to be all hormones, she's NEVER acted like this before. She's actually a really cool chick, this has just thrown me thru a loop. I'm glad to hear that some of you have gone thru similar things with pregnant women.

 

[greyhammer90]

Premarital therapy

Bingo. Go see a therapist. Together and separate. It's an important tool to open communication and your expectations for the future.

 

[Kingbish01]

I have 3 kids (15,3, and 6 mos.) I'm assuming this is your first, and you sound like you are ready to jump off a bridge after 6 weeks of pregnancy. I'll light a candle for you Sat at the Grotto! Like Irishnuke said, it gets worse before it gets better. You are in trouble for at least 14-16 years, longer if the babe comes out without a penis.

 

[kmoose]

Any suggestions are much appreciated.

Vasectomy :: Planned Parenthood

 

[ulukinatme]

My wife was a 3-4 on the crazy/hot matrix before we got married, so she was reasonably not crazy most of the time or had an acceptable level of crazy. Kids changed all that. Women WILL lose it when they're preggers, and sometimes that craziness will remain after the kids come out too (Postpartum depression is a real thing).

The best thing you can do is try and remain calm and help out however you can during her crazy moments. You may WANT to yell and pull your hair when she's being emotional, or loud, or irrational, but you can't do that. Remember, she knows where you sleep, and she'll be up at night a lot peeing cause the baby puts pressure on the bladder. Just be as sweet as you can be, and if you're lucky the crazy will temporarily subside and she may even apologize. At least that's how it worked with my wife, she'd usually come apologize once she calmed down and realized she was a bitch for no reason.

 

[Irish Insanity]

You're lucky it took pregnancy to make her crazy. Most already are.

 

[PANDFAN]

You're lucky it took pregnancy to make her crazy. Most already are.

they are like

 

[Bishop2b5]

If it helps any, know that most of us who are dads have been in your shoes and feel your pain, bro. Every woman is different when pregnant and even the same woman can be completely different from one pregnancy to another.

I have 3 children from my first marriage and 1 from my second (along with 2 step-children). First wife was moody when she was pregnant with our first child, but relatively calm with the other two. My second wife was mean and hateful and VERY moody when she was pregnant with our daughter a few years ago. Every single day, I wondered if it would be our last before I had to pack and leave. Absolute hell most of the time from a woman who is usually very rational and fun to be with.

The best advice I can give you is to mentally step outside the situation and view it as something happening to someone else as if they're in a movie you're watching. Be nice and be supportive, but don't engage in the drama with her and don't let it get to you. Just disconnect from it and keep reminding yourself that it's not personal. It's just her hormones raging and not the real her acting this way. My own experience has been that when I did that, my wife would later come back and apologize for having been so emotional and mean.

 

[Emcee77]

Yeah, plenty of good advice in this thread. It would be hard for me to add anything more without really knowing you two, but I can sympathize. Those hormones are a bitch.

One thing to keep in mind: in general, the first trimester is exhausting and draining. Pregnant ladies in the first trimester are feeling very sick and they just do not have their normal energy. Your fiance is probably falling asleep hours earlier than usual. That tiredness and nausea, along with the hormones, could be playing a role.

In the second trimester, pregnant women tend to get their energy back and feel less nauseous. My wife is in her second trimester now and she is pretty much back to her normal self.

In the third trimester, they get really physically uncomfortable though, and then you'll have to buckle up, because the ride could get bumpy. This is when pregnant ladies call the OB in psycho mode: "CUT THIS THING OUT OF ME!!!!"

So, in addition to all the advice above, my advice would be to try to break the pregnancy down into manageable chunks. Hopefully, there will be a bit of a detente in another 6 weeks, and then you will have 3 months of relative peace, and then you will have to gear up for the stretch run. Good luck!

It's worth it! Being a parent is truly the greatest joy. It's a cliche, but it's true.

 

[IrishInFl]

I cried for the first time today since my grandfather died 7 years ago. My fiance is 6 weeks prego and I'm at the end of my rope.
Who the eff is this monster?
I know her hormones are out of control, but she has literally broken me over the last 2 weeks.
I'm a grown man who is scared to talk, move, laugh, eat, touch, think or even blink.

I need someone to tell me they love me and that everything is gonna be ok.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a significant other that has turned into lucifer once she became pregnant.

Any suggestions are much appreciated.

I love you guys.

That's a tough situation. If a child wasn't involved, I'd say run for the hills. She sounds like a prime candidate for postpartum depression, so things may even get worse. She may have undiagnosed mental disorders as well. My ex-fiance had depression, post traumatic stress, anxiety, borderline personality, and bipolar disorders. People like my ex, and maybe your fiance will try to manipulate you into thinking that you're the asshole. You're not, they are. If you feel like you can't take any more, you have to do what's best for you and your child. Good luck bro.

 

[Jebediah Springfield]

 

[ACamp1900]

Maybe she's just pissed that she's carrying a ginger...

I got off easy I guess... my wife can have her moments (that whole being human thing) but she's really even tempered and level headed. She handled her pregnancies very well. I would say just communicate in an even toned way… you shouldn’t have to feel like the enemy during this process.

 

[wizards8507]

My wife must be a saint. Seven months into her pregnancy and not a single crying, screaming, or any other kind of fit. A couple of nights where I had to sleep in the guest room so she could spread out, but that's been the worst of it.

 

[Bogtrotter07]

Let me 'splain something here.

Some women are physically ill the first two months of their pregnancy. All the time. These women can be horrible at this time, but when the sickness goes away, they are usually okay.

And some women get really uncomfortable at the end. Imagine having a bowling ball in your belly and preparing to piss it out your ureter!

By the way hormones are much higher at the end of pregnancy, causing influenced behaviors than at the beginning. At the beginning it is usually shock, depression, and morning sickness. I don't know about you, but when I have a three day hangover, I want to rip someone's head off and shit down their throat.

 

[Emcee77]

Let me 'splain something here.

Some women are physically ill the first two months of their pregnancy. All the time. These women can be horrible at this time, but when the sickness goes away, they are usually okay.

And some women get really uncomfortable at the end. Imagine having a bowling ball in your belly and preparing to piss it out your ureter!

By the way hormones are much higher at the end of pregnancy, causing influenced behaviors than at the beginning. At the beginning it is usually shock, depression, and morning sickness. I don't know about you, but when I have a three day hangover, I want to rip someone's head off and shit down their throat.

Right, this is basically what I was trying to say above, and the bolded is a great analogy. Pregnant women often compare pregnancy to being hungover. (My wife is an OB, so I hear LOTS of stories about sick pregnant ladies.)

 

[ginman]

This is pretty much how I'm feeling. It has to be all hormones, she's NEVER acted like this before. She's actually a really cool chick, this has just thrown me thru a loop. I'm glad to hear that some of you have gone thru similar things with pregnant women.

Here is my second bit of advice, don't just look for information that confirms what you want to hear - confirmation bias

Regarding my first bit of advice - premarital therapy, I know next to nothing about your relationship so am just suggesting that it can be helpful going into any marriage.

 

[Pops Freshenmeyer]

Sooooooo who's never having kids after this thread? * Raises hand*

Kids are more work than you can imagine but totally awesome.

After the first trimester pregnancy appears to get a lot easier as well. My wife and I have two kids and for both pregnancies she said it was like flipping a switch one day and she felt normal again.

Just keep in mind that this time period might be awful for you, but you're only getting the second-hand effects.

 

[ACamp1900]

My kids are exhausting, but very worth it, the whole 'new perspective on life' stuff you hear is very true, at least in my experience.

 

[NDohio]

You think she is crazy now? Wait until you take that baby to college and drop them off(it comes sooner than you think). We did that this weekend and she is way crazier than what any pregnancy hormones caused her to be.

Good luck - it is all worth it.

 

[Irish#1]

All the fucking Dr. Phil's on here! lol

Kids are great and I had a blast with mine, but wait until you have grand-kids. It's all the fun without the worries. If I had known grand-kids were so much fun, I'd had them first!

 

[Who'saWildManNow]

Is she having morning sickness? My wife only had it for a few weeks but it's paralyzing for them.

You constantly feel like you want to puke so you're repulsed by many foods and everything you do becomes 10x harder. Also, she's most likely in coffee withdrawal and a borderline narcoleptic.

But with that said, I gave my wife some leeway with the whole short temper thing but not that much. You sound like you've hung your balls in the garage next to the rusty garden sheers.

Go sling those bad boys back on and draw a line in the sand. You can't be walking on egg shells for 8 months.. That's no life.

 

[BobD]

I just thought of this from my single days:

Demand a C-section. Don't go through all this, just to ......well you know.

 

[dshans]

This, too, (with luck) shall pass.

Think of it as an eight month all-nighter cramming for finals. No fun at all but well worth it when all is said and done.

My wife and I had two pregnancies (connect the dots) and one child. He's 27 now and a total joy, as he was most of the time.

Many of the specific memories have fallen by the wayside. I do remember that I gained more weight than she did early in the pregnancy. I took on all of the house keeping and cooking duties out of respect. She rejected food she'd loved before.

She railed at me for a meat loaf I made one night because of the leftover carrots I'd included. Not because she didn't like the carrots but because I cut them in "coins" rather than slicing them in thin strips. I quickly caught on – I cooked for my tastes since I never knew from day to day what she might curse, no matter how much she'd liked it before. Leftovers were my life.

Then the magic moment came. "I'll never do this again" and "You did this to me, you bastard" became "Let's do it again – in a while."

The lad is now 27, doing well and a joy to be with. No grandkids yet, but I'm in no hurry to be called Gramps --- except for you assholes.

 

[wizards8507]

I'm sitting in my "labor and delivery" class right now for the bambino due in two months and I can't imagine being anything other than ecstatic. I really hope things turn around for you.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S III using Tapatalk 4

 

[pkt77242]

Yeah, plenty of good advice in this thread. It would be hard for me to add anything more without really knowing you two, but I can sympathize. Those hormones are a bitch.

One thing to keep in mind: in general, the first trimester is exhausting and draining. Pregnant ladies in the first trimester are feeling very sick and they just do not have their normal energy. Your fiance is probably falling asleep hours earlier than usual. That tiredness and nausea, along with the hormones, could be playing a role.

In the second trimester, pregnant women tend to get their energy back and feel less nauseous. My wife is in her second trimester now and she is pretty much back to her normal self.

In the third trimester, they get really physically uncomfortable though, and then you'll have to buckle up, because the ride could get bumpy. This is when pregnant ladies call the OB in psycho mode: "CUT THIS THING OUT OF ME!!!!"

So, in addition to all the advice above, my advice would be to try to break the pregnancy down into manageable chunks. Hopefully, there will be a bit of a detente in another 6 weeks, and then you will have 3 months of relative peace, and then you will have to gear up for the stretch run. Good luck!

It's worth it! Being a parent is truly the greatest joy. It's a cliche, but it's true.

^This. My wife and I are expecting our third at the end of October and the first 3 months or so are usually rough due to hormone change and for most women morning sickness. The last 4-6 weeks are rough as the woman will get physically uncomfortable (they have a hard time sleeping, sitting, standing, walking, etc), in between is much smoother sailing though for most people. Don't take it too personally, and learn that it isn't you, it is her and you only have about 6 or so weeks left till it hopefully calms down.

 

[dshans]

Demand a C-section. Don't go through all this, just to ......well you know.

I know that it's a bit presumptuous of me to use "we" in this context, but, after many arduous hours on her part (she did give me shit for having "coffee breath" and then, shortly after, for having "tooth paste breath") the golden moment arrived: I exclaimed "It's a Patrick! A Megan (!) would have been just as nice. We were down/up for the surprise. No pre-birth disclosure of the sex. No C-section, though we came close.

Long winded point? Hang tough. The reward is worth the risk, trials and tribulations.

 

[Bubbles]

This, too, (with luck) shall pass.

Think of it as an eight month all-nighter cramming for finals. No fun at all but well worth it when all is said and done.

My wife and I had two pregnancies (connect the dots) and one child. He's 27 now and a total joy, as he was most of the time.

Many of the specific memories have fallen by the wayside. I do remember that I gained more weight than she did early in the pregnancy. I took on all of the house keeping and cooking duties out of respect. She rejected food she'd loved before.

She railed at me for a meat loaf I made one night because of the leftover carrots I'd included. Not because she didn't like the carrots but because I cut them in "coins" rather than slicing them in thin strips. I quickly caught on –*I cooked for my tastes since I never knew from day to day what she might curse, no matter how much she'd liked it before. Leftovers were my life.

Then the magic moment came. "I'll never do this again" and "You did this to me, you bastard" became "Let's do it again – in a while."

The lad is now 27, doing well and a joy to be with. No grandkids yet, but I'm in no hurry to be called Gramps --- except for you assholes.

TLR gramps.

 

[phork]

My wife woke me up one night at 12:30 and said she was craving a Strawberry Rhubarb pie. I was like "thats nice" and proceeded to go back to sleep.

Needless to say, do you understand how hard it is to find a strawberry rhubarb pie at 1AM?

 

[BobD]

My wife woke me up one night at 12:30 and said she was craving a Strawberry Rhubarb pie. I was like "thats nice" and proceeded to go back to sleep.

Needless to say, do you understand how hard it is to find a strawberry rhubarb pie at 1AM?

How long was she out searching?