My "community" didn't do shit. I'm successful despite my community, not because of it. My hometown is a pit of misery, poverty, and addiction. They didn't prepare me for success, they motivated me to escape. Kindly refrain from speaking of things about which you know nothing.
I sincerely doubt that your parents were the only positive adult influences in your life growing up. There were surely grandparents, at least a few good teachers, scout troop leaders, etc. The "self-made man" is a myth.
As I've supported with my own story, the two are not mutually exclusive. We were "alone" for approximately three years, which sharpened our ability to provide for ourselves so that we could become assets to ourselves as well as others. It was temporary, and we always knew it would be.
Glad you turned it into an opportunity for personal growth. But not everyone can legitimately aspire to become the sole bread-winner of an autonomous family. That doesn't mean they can't find ways to give back.
I also think you overvalue physical proximity in 2016.
It's necessary for most types of meaningful community.
I think we're dancing around the same preferred outcome but coming at it from opposite sides. Some millennials are moving all across the country chasing the next big job or promotion. Other millennials are staying so close to home that they're literally not leaving it. I think we agree that the ideal scenario would be somewhere in between... adults living in their own homes (whether renter or purchased) but in close enough proximity to maintain family and community ties. That seems to be the only option millennials aren't taking.
From my perspective, it looks like those Millennials with marketable skill-sets run off chasing their next raise/ promotion, and end up largely miserable and isolated; while those without marketable skill-sets end up at home in their parents basement, addicted to porn and video games, and settling into a permanent adolescence. Both sorts are being selfish, and they ultimately suffer for it.
The issue is not selfishness over sacrifice, it's the perversion of self-interest to mean selfishness, as if the two were the same thing. It is in my self-interest to see my daughter grow up having a strong relationship with her grandparents because it brings me fulfillment to watch that relationship develop, thus I sacrifice time and money to develop that relationship. There's only tension between self-interest and sacrifice when you conflate self-interest and selfishness as you always do.
The classic example of this is Mother Theresa, who often talked of the joy she derived from sacrificing herself for others. In the derivation of that joy, her sacrifices were also in her self-interest. Somewhere along the lines, the "enlightened" dropped off of Adam Smith's enlightened self-interest. That's where liberalism jumped the shark.
No, wizards. Pointing out that altruistic behavior can feel rewarding does not somehow turn it into "self-interest". What you've just described is the same utility-maximizing worldview that leads Peter Singer to argue for the legalization of infanticide, and it is wholly incompatible with Catholic doctrine.
Sacrifice doesn't come "naturally" to anyone. It has to be taught and reinforced through cultural norms.
