The Irish Envy Dad Thread

[loomis41973]

Daughter #2 and her husband have a 2-year-old daughter, my only grandchild. Yesterday she texted me a pic of her wearing a shirt with Big Sister on the front. My daughter found out on Saturday that she's pregnant and due next summer. Nice Christmas gift!

Nice Christmas present for you and the wife.

Congrats

 

[Bishop2b5]

This afternoon I had a piece of blackberry pie. My 6-year-old was giving me some grief about it and threatening to tell on me to my wife. I told her that if she wanted to live to be seven she'd say I had broccoli. "No, I'm telling Mom you had pie!"

I told her "I'll wrap you in bacon and put you outside for the wolves if you do." Amazingly, she's not particularly scared of my threats.

A few minutes later, after I'd finished my snack, my wife came into the den and Little Miss said, "Mom, Dad had a snack." When my wife asked her what I'd had, I glared at the child and she said, "Broccoli... but it was purple and smelled like pie."

 

[ulukinatme]

Ha! That's pretty good.

 

[Catholics_Rule]

So I've been away from the board for WAY TOO LONG and just came across this thread. Our "little guy" just turned 3 years old in September. Fatherhood is incredible and it keeps getting better and better. Unfortunately he had a cold over Christmas and today he woke up with the flu. He has been clinging close to mom and dad today. I also started a new job last year that is just over an hour drive.

I also been bodybuilding for the last 1 1/2 -2 years. That's been going good but just starting experiencing some tennis elbow, so I need to take a few weeks off to heal. Started bodybuilding because after losing my father 2 years ago at only the age of 68, I realized I needed to get in shape and lead by example not eating soda pop, junk food, etc, and be there to watch my son grow. My father didn't see my little guy very much so it was a huge wakeup call.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Go Irish!

 

[wizards8507]

Looking for some advice.

We started looking at preschools for my daughter and we've been very disappointed in the local Catholic schools, which had their open houses today. The closest Catholic elementary school seems to have a great kindergarten teacher, but their pre-K staff and facilities do not inspire any confidence whatsoever. There are some truly elite secular programs in the area that are within budget, but I really do value Catholic education so I'm struggling with what to do. My wife came from an area where the Catholic schools and the elite schools were one and the same, and I went to crappy public schools until Notre Dame, so we're coming at this from different angles. I just expect this to be a trend at least until high school. We have elite secular private schools, very good public schools, and okay-to-good Catholic schools.

 

[Irish#1]

Looking for some advice.

We started looking at preschools for my daughter and we've been very disappointed in the local Catholic schools, which had their open houses today. The closest Catholic elementary school seems to have a great kindergarten teacher, but their pre-K staff and facilities do not inspire any confidence whatsoever. There are some truly elite secular programs in the area that are within budget, but I really do value Catholic education so I'm struggling with what to do. My wife came from an area where the Catholic schools and the elite schools were one and the same, and I went to crappy public schools until Notre Dame, so we're coming at this from different angles. I just expect this to be a trend at least until high school. We have elite secular private schools, very good public schools, and okay-to-good Catholic schools.

You need to decide on what's most important at this age, the education or religious experience. Are there religious programs she could partake in, in the evening to supplement Sunday? If so, this might be the answer if you choose something other than a Catholic school. Good luck.

 

[ulukinatme]

Looking for some advice.

We started looking at preschools for my daughter and we've been very disappointed in the local Catholic schools, which had their open houses today. The closest Catholic elementary school seems to have a great kindergarten teacher, but their pre-K staff and facilities do not inspire any confidence whatsoever. There are some truly elite secular programs in the area that are within budget, but I really do value Catholic education so I'm struggling with what to do. My wife came from an area where the Catholic schools and the elite schools were one and the same, and I went to crappy public schools until Notre Dame, so we're coming at this from different angles. I just expect this to be a trend at least until high school. We have elite secular private schools, very good public schools, and okay-to-good Catholic schools.

It's pre-K, I wouldn't worry about it. Pre-K is often little more than day care. I'm sure there are elite facilities that can jump start your children's school careers, but there's no guarantee your child will succeed or won't succeed based on Pre-K schooling. My daughter didn't even go to Preschool, my wife taught her the ABCs and worked on some basic spelling before she went in, and now she's top of her class. I say don't sweat it. I will say that I, too, came from a background where Catholic schools and elite schools were one in the same, and if the local school wasn't so expensive I'd try to send my kids there too.

 

[wizards8507]

It's pre-K, I wouldn't worry about it. Pre-K is often little more than day care.

Not here it's not. Every single kid goes to preschool, most go for two years, and some go for three. The daycare-type programs are full day and only the poors use them. The good programs are only about three hours a few times a week but they're fairly structured.

 

[Corry]

I have two boys 3-4 and I can say the teachers matter more than the schools. My wife and I spend more than our mortgage on early education, because we feel you get what you pay for. We focused less on faith based education and more on basic education. Feel free to spend the first day with your daughter, just to get a better understanding of what a day is like. If you’re not feeling the school than the sooner you come to that realization the better it is for the kid. Also, a bunch of private schools have pre k. If you have a school in mind I’d start there. If anything it will get your kid used to an environment.

 

[ulukinatme]

Not here it's not. Every single kid goes to preschool, most go for two years, and some go for three. The daycare-type programs are full day and only the poors use them. The good programs are only about three hours a few times a week but they're fairly structured.

You probably have a better program, but everything is still hit and miss until you experience it. We were sending our Autistic son to a good school in the area, under scholarship, to help him interact with other kids in an integrated environment and to work on Speech and Occupational therapies. It turned out to be garbage, not because he didn't progress (Every kid is different) but because it turned out the specialist was at the end of her career and not up to speed on newer teachings, and to boot two of the teachers let my son escape to the parking lot...they had no idea he was even gone. My wife found him roaming around the parking lot by himself when she luckily came to pick him up early.

Again, it's all hit and miss until you see the results from the school, and there's no guarantee your child will respond. My daughter took to Kindergarten with no preschool and is excelling through 1st grade now.

 

[NDinL.A.]

Looking for some advice.

We started looking at preschools for my daughter and we've been very disappointed in the local Catholic schools, which had their open houses today. The closest Catholic elementary school seems to have a great kindergarten teacher, but their pre-K staff and facilities do not inspire any confidence whatsoever. There are some truly elite secular programs in the area that are within budget, but I really do value Catholic education so I'm struggling with what to do. My wife came from an area where the Catholic schools and the elite schools were one and the same, and I went to crappy public schools until Notre Dame, so we're coming at this from different angles. I just expect this to be a trend at least until high school. We have elite secular private schools, very good public schools, and okay-to-good Catholic schools.

This whole subject area is what I do for a living. Being an advocate for Catholic schools, I’m obviously biased. But I also went to public schools my whole life, as did my wife, and I taught in a public school for three years, so I care about them as well. And more background, I have a daughter in K (who did Pre-K), and a son who will be 4 and in Pre-K next year.

My take is that it all depends on what is most important to you. Is it high academics? Is it a faith-filled learning environment? Is it diversity? Is it safety? Etc. etc.

Our daughter, through the grace of God, is extremely gifted, and like her mom, super focused on doing her best at whatever she does. We could put her at almost any school, and she would push herself to excel. And I taught for 15 years and my wife taught for a few years as well, so we have the ability to teach her/push her after school hours at home if need be. So for us, we were looking for a faith-filled, safe, diverse (well, as diverse as you can get in South Bend) environment. We found it in one of the Catholic schools here, and we are very happy. And we got lucky that even with 40% of the students using state tuition assistance, the school got the highest academic rating that the state gives out.

Our daughter LOVES going to school, and she has an amazing relationship with Jesus, more so because of her teachers at her school than what we do at home. We both work full-time, so we are with our kids from like 5:20 p.m. – bedtime, like basically 2.5 hours or so, while her school has her from 8:00-3:00 (then daycare). As much as we try, her school deserves a ton of credit for my daughter talking about Jesus so much. And if the Catholic part is important to you, there are no better evangilizers of the Catholic faith than Catholics school IMO. I visit Catholic schools all over the country, and I truly believe this to be true.

If your public school is good, and safe, and if your kids are strong enough to ward off bad influences (which they will find at any school, really) then the public school would be a perfectly fine option. Saves you a ton of money too. The local elite private school wasn’t an option for us, by choice (well, maybe not by choice...they’re friggin’ crazy expensive!). We both had bad experiences with a segment of the population at schools like that, and it just left us with a bad taste. I’ll leave it at that. But for some, those schools are perfect, and that’s great. It just wasn’t for our own family.

So…all that said, shorter answer is: I would say to do a ton of research, figure out the most important thing(s) you want in a school, and then make your choice. No school is perfect, no school has great teachers at every grade level (my daughter’s current teacher in Kinder is weak, but it’s friggin’ Kindergarten and my daughter is already ahead, and with the activities we do at home with her she’s more than fine – plus the teacher does a great job with the spiritual aspect, so that’s been great), no school has 100% parents you’re going to love, etc etc. You’ll be fine if you stick to what is important to your family IMHO.

 

[wizards8507]

This whole subject area is what I do for a living. Being an advocate for Catholic schools, I’m obviously biased. But I also went to public schools my whole life, as did my wife, and I taught in a public school for three years, so I care about them as well. And more background, I have a daughter in K (who did Pre-K), and a son who will be 4 and in Pre-K next year.

My take is that it all depends on what is most important to you. Is it high academics? Is it a faith-filled learning environment? Is it diversity? Is it safety? Etc. etc.

Our daughter, through the grace of God, is extremely gift, and like her mom, super focused on doing her best at whatever she does. We could put her at almost any school, and she would push herself to excel. And I taught for 15 years and my wife taught for a few years as well, so we have the ability to teach her/push her after school hours at home if need be. So for us, we were looking for a faith-filled, safe, diverse (well, as diverse as you can get in South Bend) environment. We found it in one of the Catholic schools here, and we are very happy. And we got lucky that even with 40% of the students using state tuition assistance, the school got the highest academic rating that the state gives out.

Our daughter LOVES going to school, and she has an amazing relationship with Jesus, more so because of her teachers at her school than what we do at home. We both work full-time, so we are with our kids from like 5:20 p.m. – bedtime, like basically 2.5 hours or so, while her school has her from 8:00-3:00 (then daycare). As much as we try, her school deserves a ton of credit for my daughter talking about Jesus so much. And if the Catholic part is important to you, there are no better evangilizer of the Catholic faith than Catholic school IMO. I visit Catholic schools all over the country, and I truly believe this to be true.

If your public school is good, and safe, and if your kids are strong enough to ward off bad influences (which they will find at any school, really) then the public school would be a perfectly fine option. Saves you a ton of money too. The local elite private school wasn’t an option for us, by choice (well, maybe not by choice...they’re friggin’ crazy expensive!). We both had bad experiences with a segment of the population at schools like that, and it just left us with a bad taste. I’ll leave it at that. But for some, those schools are perfect, and that’s great. It just wasn’t for our own family.

So…all that said, shorter answer is: I would say to do a ton of research, figure out the most important thing(s) you want in a school, and then make your choice. No school is perfect, no school has great teachers at every grade level (my daughter’s current teacher in Kinder is weak, but it’s friggin’ Kindergarten and my daughter is already ahead, and with the activities we do at home with her she’s more than fine – plus the teacher does a great job with the spiritual aspect, so that’s been great), no school has 100% parents you’re going to love, etc etc. You’ll be fine if you stick to what is important to your family IMHO.

Reps.

My wife doesn't work so we'll be less dependent on the school for personal and spiritual development, at least for the preschool years. I think that's why we feel that Catholic school is "less necessary." We'll simply be relying on it less. Most of the programs we really like are MWF, 9a - 12p.

Since this is in your wheelhouse, would you take a look at this and let me know what you think?

https://www.thevillagenurseryschool.org/

It's right down the road from Miss Porter's School, which is where the Draperss sent Sally to visit in Season 6.

 

[ACamp1900]

I thought ND would be a great voice here...

It's funny, our oldest went to pre-school, a good one, and has always struggled socially and academically despite being very bright. Our youngest skipped all of that, and is doing far better than our oldest ever has and took to it all (school and all is encompasses) much better.

Sometimes the strengths, weaknesses and personality type of the child plays a huge role in all this. It's not as easy as reading a study and fitting your child into "Box A" if you will. Long to short, know your child and judge from there.

 

[NDinL.A.]

Since this is in your wheelhouse, would you take a look at this and let me know what you think?

https://www.thevillagenurseryschool.org/

It's right down the road from Miss Porter's School, which is where the Drapers sent Sally to visit in Season 6.

Well, the website is fantastic. I look at school websites all the time and you’d be amazed how many crappy ones that are there. They do a great job with their website.

Other than that, after watching their video, it is pretty cookie-cutter stuff. “Academic and social formation.” “Play-based learning.” “Safe and loving environment” etc. etc. All things that Pre-K schools should be saying. It’s easy to put on a front, but from the outside looking in, they look like a really good school. Good teachers with a loving vibe about them. After visiting and seeing if the school matched the video, I’d definitely send my kids there, assuming I could afford it (looks very pricey and it is obvious they cater to a wealthy and/or professional clientele, which means they better have their shit together).

So they’re a “yes” for me.

 

[wizards8507]

Well, the website is fantastic. I look at school websites all the time and you’d be amazed how many crappy ones that are there. They do a great job with their website.

Other than that, after watching their video, it is pretty cookie-cutter stuff. “Academic and social formation.” “Play-based learning.” “Safe and loving environment” etc. etc. All things that Pre-K schools should be saying. It’s easy to put on a front, but from the outside looking in, they look like a really good school. Good teachers with a loving vibe about them. After visiting and seeing if the school matched the video, I’d definitely send my kids there, assuming I could afford it (looks very pricey and it is obvious they cater to a wealthy and/or professional clientele, which means they better have their shit together).

So they’re a “yes” for me.

Someone rep this man.

 

[zelezo vlk]

.

 

[SonofOahu]

Looking for some advice.

We started looking at preschools for my daughter and we've been very disappointed in the local Catholic schools, which had their open houses today. The closest Catholic elementary school seems to have a great kindergarten teacher, but their pre-K staff and facilities do not inspire any confidence whatsoever. There are some truly elite secular programs in the area that are within budget, but I really do value Catholic education so I'm struggling with what to do. My wife came from an area where the Catholic schools and the elite schools were one and the same, and I went to crappy public schools until Notre Dame, so we're coming at this from different angles. I just expect this to be a trend at least until high school. We have elite secular private schools, very good public schools, and okay-to-good Catholic schools.

It's pre-K, I wouldn't worry about it. Pre-K is often little more than day care. I'm sure there are elite facilities that can jump start your children's school careers, but there's no guarantee your child will succeed or won't succeed based on Pre-K schooling. My daughter didn't even go to Preschool, my wife taught her the ABCs and worked on some basic spelling before she went in, and now she's top of her class. I say don't sweat it. I will say that I, too, came from a background where Catholic schools and elite schools were one in the same, and if the local school wasn't so expensive I'd try to send my kids there too.

I have to disagree with uluk. Go with the best institution that you and your wife can comfortably afford. The preschool-through-2nd grade years can make a huge difference in a child's development. The biggest effect is probably not in outright intelligence, rather it comes down to structure and socialization.

Why does it matter to you if she's at a Catholic school? She can get that part of her upbringing at home or church. Wouldn't you prefer that? (I'm not religious, so I'm genuinely curious about this aspect of parents' choices.)

 

[Bishop2b5]

Daughter #2 and her husband have a 2-year-old daughter, my only grandchild. Yesterday she texted me a pic of her wearing a shirt with Big Sister on the front. My daughter found out on Saturday that she's pregnant and due next summer. Nice Christmas gift!

I've struggled with how or even whether to post this, but about two weeks ago, my daughter miscarried. She's sad, but physically fine and she and her husband will try again.

 

[Henges24]

I've struggled with how or even whether to post this, but about two weeks ago, my daughter miscarried. She's sad, but physically fine and she and her husband will try again.

Terribly sorry for your family's loss.

 

[dshans]

I've struggled with how or even whether to post this, but about two weeks ago, my daughter miscarried. She's sad, but physically fine and she and her husband will try again.

So sorry for their/your loss.

I went through it myself many years ago. Still a painful memory.

I hope for all the best for her in the future.

 

[SonofOahu]

I've struggled with how or even whether to post this, but about two weeks ago, my daughter miscarried. She's sad, but physically fine and she and her husband will try again.

I never wanted kids. It took my wife seven years to finally wear me down enough to agree to "try" for a child. First month we try, bam, pregnant. So my wife is happy, because all she wanted to do was have a family. About 10 weeks in, she starts to cramp and bleed... Then it goes downhill. We end up in the ER, and find out she miscarried... on fucking Mother's Day. Devastating and cruel, all at once.

We waited that six weeks of "pelvic rest" and then tried again. First month trying, bam, pregnant. Miscarriages are quite common; more common than people think. My wife felt like something was wrong with her, but after she announced it, we found out that half our friends had miscarried as well.

Still, it seems like no one you know has a miscarriage, because there's some sort of stigma attached to it. I hope your daughter can, ahem, get back on that horse.

 

[BGIF]

I've struggled with how or even whether to post this, but about two weeks ago, my daughter miscarried. She's sad, but physically fine and she and her husband will try again.

Sorry for your family's loss. As Oahu noted, it's pretty common. A 1988 article say 31% of pregnancies end that way. 80% of those in the first 12 weeks. More recent estimates half that number. But I'm sure are of small solace if any to the those impacted.

This article

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/17/miscarriage-cause_n_4116712.html

comments on some of the reasons.

roughly 60 percent of miscarriages occur when an embryo has an abnormal number of chromosomes during fertilization — a problem that happens by chance, not as a result of anything the parents did.

and notes that

The study shows that women and couples who experience miscarriage may pay a high emotional price because there is a lack of knowledge about how common miscarriage is and its causes. About 40 percent of the women who had a miscarriage said they felt they had done something wrong to cause it, and 47 percent felt guilty.

BTW, another article mentioned that women can ovulate two weeks after a miscarriage. What a roller coaster of emotions.

Best wishes!

 

[wizards8507]

Is Montessori legit or BS?

 

[SonofOahu]

Is Montessori legit or BS?

The school that I graduated from, that my daughter now goes to, adopted a hybrid-form of the Montessori principles (the school is K-12). I'll say this: it's not for everyone. I'm used to old-school rote learning. It's very, very different.

The kids often don't know what they're learning, because the lessons are real world and experiential. If they find something a child is really into, they'll let that kid run with it. My niece is at the same school; she had a classmate that wrote a basic screenplay (in the 1st grade) and the class acted it out. Crazy stuff.

Again, though, it really depends on the child. If your child is shy and reserved, he/she may not succeed in the Montessori system. He/she could end up getting lost in the shuffle. Also, if the child doesn't have some basic discipline, he/she will not get anything out of it.

 

[NDRock]

Is Montessori legit or BS?

My kids went to one for pre-school. I told my wife it means “over priced” in Italian.

 

[NDGOLDEN]

My wife is pregnant and it will be our first pregnancy . We are expecting identical triplets!!! This was natural by the way which is extremely rare they don’t really have statistics on it it’s so rare. Basically it’s about 1 in 200 million chance you can get natural identical triplets.

Anybody got any advice? Please I’ll need it

 

[wizards8507]

My wife is pregnant and it will be our first pregnancy . We are expecting identical triplets!!! This was natural by the way which is extremely rare they don’t really have statistics on it it’s so rare. Basically it’s about 1 in 200 million chance you can get natural identical triplets.

Anybody got any advice? Please I’ll need it

#ThoughtsAndPrayers

 

[IrishLion]

My wife is pregnant and it will be our first pregnancy . We are expecting identical triplets!!! This was natural by the way which is extremely rare they don’t really have statistics on it it’s so rare. Basically it’s about 1 in 200 million chance you can get natural identical triplets.

Anybody got any advice? Please I’ll need it

Triplets? God bless you and your wife lol.

Gonna follow Wiz and simply go with #ThoughtsAndPrayers

 

[zelezo vlk]

My wife is pregnant and it will be our first pregnancy . We are expecting identical triplets!!! This was natural by the way which is extremely rare they don’t really have statistics on it it’s so rare. Basically it’s about 1 in 200 million chance you can get natural identical triplets.

Anybody got any advice? Please I’ll need it

Congrats dude!

 

[NDGOLDEN]

Thanks for the prayers I guess...

And thanks zelezo