Putting a Dog Down

[IrishRazor82]

First time yesterday, a 14.5 year old who has basically been with me my entire adult life. Not a family dog, truly my dog and he bounced around between college, jobs, girlfriends, etc., with me. Going through the process was about what I expected but the pain of missing him is far greater than I expected. I work from home so I didn't realize how much noise/annoyance he brought to my daily routine. Even just the dog nails on the hardwood I miss, I miss him staring at me from my feet whenever I am in the kitchen. Looking at the back yard is just plain heart breaking. This has been harder than losing either of my grandparents and IDK if that makes me a psychopath or what but it's true.

I know many have gone through this. How long does the day to day pain last? And did you end up getting a new dog, and if so, how does that feel?

 

[Cackalacky2.0]

Sorry to hear that. My dogs have always been family members so losing a family member is never easy.

 

[Valpodoc85]

I know the pain. We put our first lab down 9 years ago. About that time my mom died. I felt the loss of the dog in a more pointed fashion than the dog. Caused all kinds of guilt. Dogs love is unconditional and the relationship you have with them is such. It makes the loss more pointed. At any rate, I'm just grateful for dogs. One of the few forces that combat the suffering of daily life

 

[notredomer23]

Sorry hear to Razor. We had to put my family dog down 2 years ago now and we still think about her often. The pain alleviates quicker than human loss (at least for me) but there’s a strange void that’s missing for a while because they become such a part of our routine. Truly an awful experience.

 

[ndnation32]

I unfortunately had to go through the same thing on December 30th. She was a beautiful 13 1/2 year old black lab and we did everything together. Thankfully she stayed around for the birth of our first child back in June of last year but she was definitely my first kid. I had the same feeling that it was as hard putting her down as losing a grandparent. It is a totally normal feeling when they are with you everyday. We ended up getting another dog 3 weeks later which has definitely helped with the little things that you would never think you would miss. For me it has been helpful to have another dog around but there is no replacing the original. I miss the hell out of her and still 2 and half months later it is amazing how many things remind me of her and gets to me. The new dog helps but there is definitely no replacing a dog that you have had for over a decade of your life. Sorry for your loss, like I said the pain is completely normal.

 

[Henges24]

Sorry to hear that and for your loss. Dogs are awesome. One of the toughest moments in my life.

 

[BleedBlueGold]

Sorry for your loss. We put our dog down a couple springs ago. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I've lost loved ones before, but something about being responsible for ending my dog's life really struck me. I felt like we blindsided her. She thinks she's in the car going for a ride, not knowing it's her last. I came home and doubled over. I haven't cried that uncontrollably...ever. That instant pain and heartache lasted a few days. I broke down often at the thought of it. Eventually I learned to live with it and what was left was me just missing my friend. It's been two years. I still miss her, but now when I see photos, videos, Time Hops that include her, I smile. You'll get there too. Just give it time.

Edit: We have yet to get another dog. It's been unusually nice having that freedom (our dog was very high maintenance w/ needing timed epilepsy medication). We've talked about getting another one next year. Our daughter asks about getting one all the time. She was only four when we put our Rotty down. But she remembers her and still misses the companionship. We're unsure if we'll get another Rot, but pure bread dogs have very similar tendencies and we've chatted about the idea of how interesting it would be to have the same breed and allow the chance for our old dog to live on through the new dog. That's an ongoing discussion.

 

[IrishRazor82]

Sorry for your loss. We put our dog down a couple springs ago. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I've lost loved ones before, but something about being responsible for ending my dog's life really struck me. I felt like we blindsided her. She thinks she's in the car going for a ride, not knowing it's her last. I came home and doubled over. I haven't cried that uncontrollably...ever. That instant pain and heartache lasted a few days. I broke down often at the thought of it. Eventually I learned to live with it and what was left was me just missing my friend. It's been two years. I still miss her, but now when I see photos, videos, Time Hops that include her, I smile. You'll get there too. Just give it time.

Edit: We have yet to get another dog. It's been unusually nice having that freedom (our dog was very high maintenance w/ needing timed epilepsy medication). We've talked about getting another one next year. Our daughter asks about getting one all the time. She was only four when we put our Rotty down. But she remembers her and still misses the companionship. We're unsure if we'll get another Rot, but pure bread dogs have very similar tendencies and we've chatted about the idea of how interesting it would be to have the same breed and allow the chance for our old dog to live on through the new dog. That's an ongoing discussion.

I've read and appreciate everyone's response. Each one means a lot and offers good advice and perspective, but I want to reply specifically to this one.

We have a 3.5 year old and we tried to explain to her but I don't think she gets it. And she asks after daycare, at night, and this morning on daycare where he is and I just can't keep it together. I lose it. It's crazy what I'd give to give him another few years. We are also day dreaming about our next dog just to pass the time and numb the pain, and discuss the same breed. It's hard to tell if that'd be weird or not.

Thank you all for your stories about your loved ones.

 

[NDFAN420]

So sorry to hear and saying a prayer for you. I've gone through that a couple of times myself. You never forget, but time heals.

You'll know when it's time to get another companion. You'll know and it'll be another wonderful chapter for you both.

 

[bkess8]

Sorry to hear this... My dog is reaching the later years of his life and I am not looking forward to losing him.

 

[GEORGIA DOMER]

My 14 year old Shih Tzu is fading in front of our eyes. It's heartbreaking. I hope she passes in her sleep. Don't know if I can walk her into that vet office. Condolences

 

[Old Man Mike]

This has happened ten (?) times over the years in the Swords family. All are sad to begin with: all cleared up pretty quickly with the addition of another dog. The most rapid and "successful" recoveries involved a new dog which was not a puppy. The fully trained aspect of that (or at least more readily trainable) made transition pretty easy, and the famous fast-love-attachment of dogs replace the affection element pretty quickly. The new dog will rapidly become your buddy just as the former friend did. Picking male vs female is an issue too, not just breed or mutt. Choose with your child in mind. It will really become her dog afterall. My sister has an out-of-the-norm love of a certain breed and gets really attached. She solves this (radically) by having more than one at a time.

 

[NDGOLDEN]

Sorry to hear about your lose. I had to put my 15 year old dog down in 2018. Hate going through that since it was my first animal I had even tho it was my wife’s but I knew him since he was 5.

 

[BleedBlueGold]

I've read and appreciate everyone's response. Each one means a lot and offers good advice and perspective, but I want to reply specifically to this one.

We have a 3.5 year old and we tried to explain to her but I don't think she gets it. And she asks after daycare, at night, and this morning on daycare where he is and I just can't keep it together. I lose it. It's crazy what I'd give to give him another few years. We are also day dreaming about our next dog just to pass the time and numb the pain, and discuss the same breed. It's hard to tell if that'd be weird or not.

Thank you all for your stories about your loved ones.

Our kids didn't get it either. They just knew their pet wasn't around anymore. We just told them she's in heaven with their grandpa, keeping him company. Eventually their questions went from "where is she" to "when are we getting another." They've been pretty resilient.

 

[IrishRazor82]

This has happened ten (?) times over the years in the Swords family. All are sad to begin with: all cleared up pretty quickly with the addition of another dog. The most rapid and "successful" recoveries involved a new dog which was not a puppy. The fully trained aspect of that (or at least more readily trainable) made transition pretty easy, and the famous fast-love-attachment of dogs replace the affection element pretty quickly. The new dog will rapidly become your buddy just as the former friend did. Picking male vs female is an issue too, not just breed or mutt. Choose with your child in mind. It will really become her dog afterall. My sister has an out-of-the-norm love of a certain breed and gets really attached. She solves this (radically) by having more than one at a time.

Thanks for the response. A lot to unpack here. 10X!?!? Glad to hear a new dog helped, and interesting on the dog not puppy. Having more than 1 at a time makes sense because you can shift your love and attention to the remaining dog, but the Red Fern ruined that approach for me.

 

[NDty9]

First time yesterday, a 14.5 year old who has basically been with me my entire adult life. Not a family dog, truly my dog and he bounced around between college, jobs, girlfriends, etc., with me. Going through the process was about what I expected but the pain of missing him is far greater than I expected. I work from home so I didn't realize how much noise/annoyance he brought to my daily routine. Even just the dog nails on the hardwood I miss, I miss him staring at me from my feet whenever I am in the kitchen. Looking at the back yard is just plain heart breaking. This has been harder than losing either of my grandparents and IDK if that makes me a psychopath or what but it's true.

I know many have gone through this. How long does the day to day pain last? And did you end up getting a new dog, and if so, how does that feel?

I’m so sorry brother !! Stay positive … will pray for you And the pup

 

[IrishRazor82]

Also going through all of the wild thoughts... Do dogs go to heaven? Do they have a spirit? Does it live on? Does he see how I feel from above and know how much I miss and love him? I want him to know.

I don't think so but I sure hope so. They deserve it more than all of us schmucks!

 

[ab2cmiller]

Kind of amazing the emotional impact dogs have on us. As others have eluded to .... they provide unconditional love. Very few threads get this kind of instantaneous interaction.

 

[bobbyok1]

First time yesterday, a 14.5 year old who has basically been with me my entire adult life. Not a family dog, truly my dog and he bounced around between college, jobs, girlfriends, etc., with me. Going through the process was about what I expected but the pain of missing him is far greater than I expected. I work from home so I didn't realize how much noise/annoyance he brought to my daily routine. Even just the dog nails on the hardwood I miss, I miss him staring at me from my feet whenever I am in the kitchen. Looking at the back yard is just plain heart breaking. This has been harder than losing either of my grandparents and IDK if that makes me a psychopath or what but it's true.

I know many have gone through this. How long does the day to day pain last? And did you end up getting a new dog, and if so, how does that feel?

I had to put down my miniature schnauzer of 13 years early last year. I was somewhat caught off guard by the significance of the life stages we had gone through together. So, I can sympathize with your pain.

I was single when I got him as an 8 week old pup. I met my wife to be a few months after I got him. He was with me/us through my marriage, the birth of three kids, three career moves to different jobs/states. He was my dog and had become my oldest boys dog who was 7 years old when our dog died and was the only dog he had known.

Putting him down was one of the toughest things I've had to do, and that includes saying goodbye to my father who passed away in 2005.

We gave it 6 months as a time to grieve. And then we pursued a new pup for the family. We really have enjoyed miniature schnauzers, so we got another one, but totally different look to the new one. Since it has been a year, while we still miss our last dog, we have embraced our new dog and our grieving has subsided mostly. We occasionally slip up and call our new pup by the old dogs name. We give each other grace and just see it as a time to remember our old dog. Getting another dog to love on and enjoy has been a part of the healing for us as a family.

 

[calvegas04]

Also going through all of the wild thoughts... Do dogs go to heaven? Do they have a spirit? Does it live on? Does he see how I feel from above and know how much I miss and love him? I want him to know.

I don't think so but I sure hope so. They deserve it more than all of us schmucks!

Pretty sure animals go where ever humans go... to heaven, somewhere else, no where? No one knows... Sorry about your loss tho I sometimes think about difficult it will be when the time comes. Our dogs are 5 years apart and plan on getting another one at the next 5 year mark as we wouldn't want to leave one of them alone after one passes.

What kind of dog did you have? Do you want another of the same breed or thinking about another breed?

 

[IrishRazor82]

Pretty sure animals go where ever humans go... to heaven, somewhere else, no where? No one knows... Sorry about your loss tho I sometimes think about difficult it will be when the time comes. Our dogs are 5 years apart and plan on getting another one at the next 5 year mark as we wouldn't want to leave one of them alone after one passes.

What kind of dog did you have? Do you want another of the same breed or thinking about another breed?

He was a mini-Aussie. I'd consider two at once in the future but our kids are too small currently. 1.5, 3.5 with another on the way. In about 5 years I'd consider two.

 

[notredomer23]

He was a mini-Aussie. I'd consider two at once in the future but our kids are too small currently. 1.5, 3.5 with another on the way. In about 5 years I'd consider two.

The best thing for my family's dog was when I brought my dog home. I got a German Shepherd puppy just 8 weeks old after graduating college when the family's dog (half lab half GS) was about 10 or 11 years old and really starting to slow down and show her age. My dog being there caused some feuds at the beginning, but they really became close and helped keep our old girl spry and youthful for a few extra good years that really weren't expected.

2 at once is tough, but I think a staggered approach really benefits the older dog while also helping the younger dog learn.

 

[Blazers46]

Our losses have been rough. On our way to put our one down we saw the results of a police officer being murdered by a cartel guy. So the kids sort of experienced death in a weird way that day. I have never been a dog guy until we got a larger bread Great White Pyrenees. Love him. We were in the process of moving so the house was completely cleaned out. We left for a night out of town. When the dog sitter came in the next morning my dog Rudy Lou was dead on the floor. My kids keep thinking he died of a broken heart thinking we moved away and left him behind. That was rough for me, I'm still not completely over that one. That was May 2021. I want to get another same bread, fantastic animal.

 

[Irish#1]

Sorry to hear it Razor. We've put quite a few to sleep and it seems to get tougher as I get older. We just put Ruby (Redbone) to sleep a few months back. She was having heart failure and probably wasn't going to last through the night. Got to the vet, hopped in the back seat to sit with her until they came out and get her. Brought her home to put her under the trees with the others. Not ashamed to say I was pretty misty eyed while I dug her place to sleep. Lucy, our other Redbone kept trying to dig her up. She knew something wasn't right. It's been my experience that dogs adapt to losing their friend in about two weeks. Lucy hasn't been the same since even though we got another pup for her to play with. It doesn't matter what you get (pup, rescue dog, pure bred or mutt) as long as it feels right for you.

 

[TNUtoNotreDame]

25 years later and I still think of my dog everyday. Still tough, that dog helped through tough times and in someway kept me alive. It is tough man, hang in there.

 

[BeauBenken]

Dogs are something special. Hopefully you gave him some of the best years a pup could ask for as it appears he gave you some good ones too.

Dogs end up becoming a part of your ever waking environment as you described so when their presence is gone, it is quite noticeable. Still odd to go to my mom's and not have our old Roscoe waiting for me. You will always miss them, but hopefully you can start to do so with a smile.

Got a dog last year with the wife. Absolutely adore the little pup. Seems weird in thought to get a new dog, but loving another dog doesn't mean that you loved your previous dog any less.

 

[T-Boone]

Agreed with all. The grief is legit. Such great companions.

 

[AvesEvo]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I had to put my 11 year old Scottish Terrier down in August after he was attacked by a pitt bull. Same situation as you, he was the one constant in my life for most of my adult life. I still think about him every day and find myself crying every now and again.

 

[Greenore]

Knowing when to put your dog down is both the most difficult and responsible decision you can make as an owner and friend.

I had to put my 15-3/4 year old chocolate lab down in late August of last year. During my life, I've had to put down 7 dogs but this one was the most difficult. I'm not sure why? Maybe as Irish#1 suggested, I'm getting older.

Murphy was a great lab (aren't they all!). An amazing hunting dog that never quit, unless it got too warm. I usually have two dogs and entirely agree with ND23's assessment. My other dog is a yellow lab and she definitely was lethargic for a few months after Murphy passed.

If I can offer you anything Razor, why would you deprive some other dog of the chance to be your friend? You obviously care and are responsible. Dogs need good humans as much as humans need good dogs.

Sorry for your loss, it does get better.

 

[ACamp1900]

Our bulldog Mackie girl passed a few months back,… it sucked but at least it happened quick. My cat Timon passed like six years ago right after my father passed. That was tough as the was MY cat and my super buddy. I have another black cat now named Calabaza or Cali for short and she follows me around just like Timon. It’s amazing the comfort pets can bring.