Veritate Duce Progredi
A man gotta have a code
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Lol. Dublin, that was perfect. Great way to start my morning. I'll be happy with a J. Nol weather update.
2014 Spring Practice Thread
- Thread starter NDPhilly
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Lol. Dublin, that was perfect. Great way to start my morning. I'll be happy with a J. Nol weather update.
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"The best five podcast guests of all time? Think about it: Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey and Whiskey."
Edit: I'm not sure why Murtaugh keeps inviting me back. Can't stand listening to myself.
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K
koonja
Guest
"The best five podcast guests of all time? Think about it: Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey and Whiskey."
Edit: I'm not sure why Murtaugh keeps inviting me back. Can't stand listening to myself.
I thought you did great. Such a spokesperson, so thorough. I could listen to you talk football all day. Your thoughts are to my mind as Greg Bryant's film is to my eyes.
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C
Cackalacky
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PANDFAN
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>BVG with the good <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23AprilFoolsDayPrank&src=hash">#AprilFoolsDayPrank</a> lol I gotta get him back</p>— Devin Butler (@DevinButler_12) <a href="https://twitter.com/DevinButler_12/statuses/450991593147740160">April 1, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Now I have to know what he did.
AdmiralBackhand
Wir sind wir
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He took off his moustache like some kind of CEO on Undercover Boss.
Old Man Mike
Fast as Lightning!
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Gentlemen, could you help an old incompetent? I couldn't locate the answer to: are we practicing this Saturday the 5th?; and if so, when?; and given that, can a random individual, looking fairly civilized, show up and watch any of it?
I am in South Bend for a Catholic Cursillo Men's Conference on Friday evening and most of Saturday, and wouldn't mind playing hooky if there was a chance to watch part of a practice.
I am in South Bend for a Catholic Cursillo Men's Conference on Friday evening and most of Saturday, and wouldn't mind playing hooky if there was a chance to watch part of a practice.
NDdomer2
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so maybe im just mr. gullible today, but someone please tell me this is april fools joke:
BREAKING: Quarterback Expelled from Notre Dame - Her Loyal Sons
BREAKING: Quarterback Expelled from Notre Dame - Her Loyal Sons
woolybug25
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haha... yes. It's an April fool's joke.
PANDFAN
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As a 2012 freshman defensive end on Notre Dame’s No. 2-ranked scoring defense, Sheldon Day surprisingly found a way to do his share of biting on a defensive line loaded with “Big Dogs” such as vocal fifth-year senior Kapron Lewis-Moore, powerful 340-pound Louis Nix III and the playmaking All-American sophomore Stephon Tuitt.
A 2012 early enrollee, Day worked himself into the rotation immediately in all 13 games and finished with 23 tackles, 3.5 for loss (two sacks) and a reputation as the most technique-sound lineman on the star-studded unit.
The infamous “sophomore jinx” ensued in 2013, starting with a frustrating 41-30 loss at Michigan and then a high ankle sprain suffered in game 3 at Purdue. Day did make eight starts and recorded 33 tackles — second most among the linemen to Tuitt’s 49 — but the injury often limited his effectiveness most of the year and sidelined him against Michigan State and Oklahoma, and saw him make a brief cameo versus Arizona State.
“It was just kind of lingering on,” said Day of the injury. “Every time somebody hit it the wrong way it flared back up. I felt good in the USC game, but got hurt against Air Force and Navy, and Pitt was kind of shaky. It started feeling good toward the end of the season.”
A full season of relative health for Day will be crucial in 2014. Along with junior and 26-game starting corner KeiVarae Russell and 2013 Freshman All-American linebacker Jaylon Smith, Day is one of the three more proven “veterans” on this year’s Irish defense, especially with all the aforementioned 2012 linemen gone.
First-year Irish defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder is understandably leery of saying too much too soon about any of his personnel, but it was pretty clear that Day would have to be one of the mainstays.
“He’s had a very good spring up to this point,” said VanGorder after the sixth practice. “He’s a productive player. He provides leadership through example more than he does verbally.”
“It’s definitely different since I first got here,” Day said. “Early enrollee, didn’t know what to expect from college football — and now I have two years under my belt. I’m kind of looked at as the leader now and the voice of the defensive line. It’s been a good experience. I learned from ‘Kap’ and other players just to see how to do it and how to do it correctly.
“I feel there is a time to be vocal and a time to sit back and watch. I’ve learned that from Kap, and other players, and I feel like I’ve grown in that aspect.”
Day plans to be more than a leader by example. After all, former Irish defensive coordinator Bob Diaco (2010-13), now the head coach at UConn, nicknamed him “The Mayor” during Day’s freshman year because of the way players gravitated toward his personality. That has made Day more confident in leading vocally and by example, a quality this team is trying to find and build upon.
“It’s a good experience to go around and see what I can say and what I can’t say and how people react to it,” Day said. “It’s all a feeling that you have and when the time is to say something. It’s just knowing that when I say something, there’s usually meaning behind it and I have value to this team. It’s a way to give me confidence that if there’s something I don’t like that is happening or something is going wrong, I can be that voice out there and stand up.”
No one else on the Notre Dame defensive line has more than one career start, and the linebacking corps beyond Smith is even less experienced. It’s times like this there is no place to go but up.
“We’re ready to surprise people this year,” said the versatile 6-2, 290-pound Day, who plays primarily the three technique inside but also has been aligned at the one and five. “Throughout the entire winter conditioning it was all about, ‘How can that d-line become a dominant force?’
“Everybody’s sleeping on the defensive line, everybody’s thinking bad about the defensive line. Now that we have the pads on and working as a unit, it’s definitely a goal of ours to become that dominating force.”
For Day, one of the ways to achieve that end is not attempt to do too much, or try to do the job of others.
“I don’t think of it as I have more on my plate,” he said. “It’s more of you do your assignment and let others do their assignment — and you work as a unit. I feel like there’s more trust in my teammates to make sure everybody knows his role, his job. If everyone knows his assignment, then we can become a dominant unit.”
And maybe add some more bite along the way.
A 2012 early enrollee, Day worked himself into the rotation immediately in all 13 games and finished with 23 tackles, 3.5 for loss (two sacks) and a reputation as the most technique-sound lineman on the star-studded unit.
The infamous “sophomore jinx” ensued in 2013, starting with a frustrating 41-30 loss at Michigan and then a high ankle sprain suffered in game 3 at Purdue. Day did make eight starts and recorded 33 tackles — second most among the linemen to Tuitt’s 49 — but the injury often limited his effectiveness most of the year and sidelined him against Michigan State and Oklahoma, and saw him make a brief cameo versus Arizona State.
“It was just kind of lingering on,” said Day of the injury. “Every time somebody hit it the wrong way it flared back up. I felt good in the USC game, but got hurt against Air Force and Navy, and Pitt was kind of shaky. It started feeling good toward the end of the season.”
A full season of relative health for Day will be crucial in 2014. Along with junior and 26-game starting corner KeiVarae Russell and 2013 Freshman All-American linebacker Jaylon Smith, Day is one of the three more proven “veterans” on this year’s Irish defense, especially with all the aforementioned 2012 linemen gone.
First-year Irish defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder is understandably leery of saying too much too soon about any of his personnel, but it was pretty clear that Day would have to be one of the mainstays.
“He’s had a very good spring up to this point,” said VanGorder after the sixth practice. “He’s a productive player. He provides leadership through example more than he does verbally.”
“It’s definitely different since I first got here,” Day said. “Early enrollee, didn’t know what to expect from college football — and now I have two years under my belt. I’m kind of looked at as the leader now and the voice of the defensive line. It’s been a good experience. I learned from ‘Kap’ and other players just to see how to do it and how to do it correctly.
“I feel there is a time to be vocal and a time to sit back and watch. I’ve learned that from Kap, and other players, and I feel like I’ve grown in that aspect.”
Day plans to be more than a leader by example. After all, former Irish defensive coordinator Bob Diaco (2010-13), now the head coach at UConn, nicknamed him “The Mayor” during Day’s freshman year because of the way players gravitated toward his personality. That has made Day more confident in leading vocally and by example, a quality this team is trying to find and build upon.
“It’s a good experience to go around and see what I can say and what I can’t say and how people react to it,” Day said. “It’s all a feeling that you have and when the time is to say something. It’s just knowing that when I say something, there’s usually meaning behind it and I have value to this team. It’s a way to give me confidence that if there’s something I don’t like that is happening or something is going wrong, I can be that voice out there and stand up.”
No one else on the Notre Dame defensive line has more than one career start, and the linebacking corps beyond Smith is even less experienced. It’s times like this there is no place to go but up.
“We’re ready to surprise people this year,” said the versatile 6-2, 290-pound Day, who plays primarily the three technique inside but also has been aligned at the one and five. “Throughout the entire winter conditioning it was all about, ‘How can that d-line become a dominant force?’
“Everybody’s sleeping on the defensive line, everybody’s thinking bad about the defensive line. Now that we have the pads on and working as a unit, it’s definitely a goal of ours to become that dominating force.”
For Day, one of the ways to achieve that end is not attempt to do too much, or try to do the job of others.
“I don’t think of it as I have more on my plate,” he said. “It’s more of you do your assignment and let others do their assignment — and you work as a unit. I feel like there’s more trust in my teammates to make sure everybody knows his role, his job. If everyone knows his assignment, then we can become a dominant unit.”
And maybe add some more bite along the way.
K
koonja
Guest
I heard at work that OSU is planning to have former Buckeyes take some snaps in their spring game, and the rumor is Eddie George, Spielman, and others. Anyone hear anything similar?
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ulukinatme
Carr for QB 2025!
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The sad part was....it could have been believable until they started calling for BK's head and a time for change.
NDdomer2
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irishfan
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Damn, pretty cool idea if they actually do it.
K
koonja
Guest
It sounds like they're definately doing it. One guy passed on going because he thinks it's going to be too expensive for his family to go. Really cool idea.
B
Bogtrotter07
Guest
That is how ND's spring game started. It was the varsity against the graduates. I have an acquaintance who was personally knocked into next Tuesday by Jungle Jim Martin.
I think they ended that because of the armature status rules that were put in place in the late 50's through 70's.
I would be surprised if anyone was allowed to scrimmage with them. Coach them, a different story.
I think they ended that because of the armature status rules that were put in place in the late 50's through 70's.
I would be surprised if anyone was allowed to scrimmage with them. Coach them, a different story.
PANDFAN
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The questions for sophomore Max Redfield have never been about whether or not he’s good enough to make an impact in Notre Dame’s secondary. Irish coach Brian Kelly have just wondered aloud often about when he’ll be ready.
Max Redfield
Safety Max Redfield played almost exclusively on special teams during his freshman season.
Ready or not, it appears that Kelly feels now is the time to get his former blue-chipper into the starting lineup. Redfield started his first college game at the Pinstripe Bowl in December and has been working with the first-team defense for the first month of spring practice. The California product’s athleticism now outweighs what he has left to learn.
“We’re still in the learning curve with Max, but he’s so gifted,” Kelly said. “You’ve gotta get Max Redfield ready. We’re going to get him ready.”
Kelly said Redfield’s “crazy, crazy, crazy ability” often makes up for mistakes while learning what remains the defense’s most difficult position from a mental standpoint. He currently lines up next to fifth-year senior Austin Collinsworth, who has worked his into the starting duo more on the merits of his knowledge of the position than athletic talent.
Collinsworth and Redfield are in front of a deep group of defensive backs vying for playing time. Juniors Elijah Shumate and Nicky Baratti both have experience, as does senior Eilar Hardy. The group was crowded enough to move ship several players elsewhere in the defense this spring. Matthias Farley, a starter last fall, moved to cornerback. Junior John Turner left the safety group to move into a starting job at outside linebacker.
Redfield says he believes he’s progressing at a pace equal to the rest of his teammates as he learns his second defensive system in the last nine months.
“I feel like everyone is learning now. I don’t think one person could tell you the defense front and back,” he said. “Everyone is learning together and we’re growing into it together, which is good. With our team just bonding, we’re all coming together learning the defense as one.”
The rookie’s much anticipated debut against Rutgers in the bowl game gave him a sense of the speed of the game in college. Getting on the field was a moment of relief for Redfield, who didn’t play at all in the team’s regular season finale against Stanford and often wished he was more involved during the fall.
He said he tried to take the lack of playing time in stride and getting his shot in New York City has had a snowball effect leading into the spring.
“Rutgers isn’t the same as Florida State. I understand that. I know I have to make tons of improvements from there until we get into the next season, but it was great to get that start under my belt. I was really thankful for that and I feel like I’ve been growing ever since,” he said.
Kelly and defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder agreed. Kelly said the sophomore is getting better with each practice. Redfield’s talent was clear to VanGorder as soon as he started working with the team.
“I really like the physical ability of Max and Shu[mate] in the back end, but that’s kind of been obvious to me. That safety process is a tough one,” VanGorder said a week ago. “It’s still only six practices. There’s a lot left to evaluate and see. Hopefully we get some live situations so we can even learn more about them.”
Redfield said his limited experience last fall taught him the importance of mastering the most minute details of the job. For now, he’s trying to balance that fine-toothed focus with digesting a brand new defense.
“Obviously there are still mistakes here and there,” he said. “Everyone knows there are going to be mistakes with the new system, but it’s going really well.”
Max Redfield
Safety Max Redfield played almost exclusively on special teams during his freshman season.
Ready or not, it appears that Kelly feels now is the time to get his former blue-chipper into the starting lineup. Redfield started his first college game at the Pinstripe Bowl in December and has been working with the first-team defense for the first month of spring practice. The California product’s athleticism now outweighs what he has left to learn.
“We’re still in the learning curve with Max, but he’s so gifted,” Kelly said. “You’ve gotta get Max Redfield ready. We’re going to get him ready.”
Kelly said Redfield’s “crazy, crazy, crazy ability” often makes up for mistakes while learning what remains the defense’s most difficult position from a mental standpoint. He currently lines up next to fifth-year senior Austin Collinsworth, who has worked his into the starting duo more on the merits of his knowledge of the position than athletic talent.
Collinsworth and Redfield are in front of a deep group of defensive backs vying for playing time. Juniors Elijah Shumate and Nicky Baratti both have experience, as does senior Eilar Hardy. The group was crowded enough to move ship several players elsewhere in the defense this spring. Matthias Farley, a starter last fall, moved to cornerback. Junior John Turner left the safety group to move into a starting job at outside linebacker.
Redfield says he believes he’s progressing at a pace equal to the rest of his teammates as he learns his second defensive system in the last nine months.
“I feel like everyone is learning now. I don’t think one person could tell you the defense front and back,” he said. “Everyone is learning together and we’re growing into it together, which is good. With our team just bonding, we’re all coming together learning the defense as one.”
The rookie’s much anticipated debut against Rutgers in the bowl game gave him a sense of the speed of the game in college. Getting on the field was a moment of relief for Redfield, who didn’t play at all in the team’s regular season finale against Stanford and often wished he was more involved during the fall.
He said he tried to take the lack of playing time in stride and getting his shot in New York City has had a snowball effect leading into the spring.
“Rutgers isn’t the same as Florida State. I understand that. I know I have to make tons of improvements from there until we get into the next season, but it was great to get that start under my belt. I was really thankful for that and I feel like I’ve been growing ever since,” he said.
Kelly and defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder agreed. Kelly said the sophomore is getting better with each practice. Redfield’s talent was clear to VanGorder as soon as he started working with the team.
“I really like the physical ability of Max and Shu[mate] in the back end, but that’s kind of been obvious to me. That safety process is a tough one,” VanGorder said a week ago. “It’s still only six practices. There’s a lot left to evaluate and see. Hopefully we get some live situations so we can even learn more about them.”
Redfield said his limited experience last fall taught him the importance of mastering the most minute details of the job. For now, he’s trying to balance that fine-toothed focus with digesting a brand new defense.
“Obviously there are still mistakes here and there,” he said. “Everyone knows there are going to be mistakes with the new system, but it’s going really well.”
Irishman77
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If nd legends played against today's team in the blue gold game, Zorich would blow past our ol and when the play was over put them on his knee and give them a spanking!
Veritate Duce Progredi
A man gotta have a code
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Encouraging. And it's good VanGorder sees that Redfield and Shumate would provide our most athletic tandem.
#1rish
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Was thinking the same thing. Him and Shumate together will be great to see on the field.
PANDFAN
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>SOURCES: ND maybe possibly moving to a 10-1 defensive alignment in 2014. We investigate. <a href="http://t.co/7F8U1QNkDN">http://t.co/7F8U1QNkDN</a> <a href="http://t.co/oUe4iv3WAC">pic.twitter.com/oUe4iv3WAC</a></p>— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) <a href="https://twitter.com/OneFootDown/statuses/451083855269597184">April 1, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
the wake of recent comments by Notre Dame Head Football Coach Brian Kelly about moving Jaylon Smith around the Irish defense next year, sources have confirmed that the Irish are set to announce later today that the Irish will officially move to a 10-1 defensive alignment in 2014. The Irish have reportedly been experimenting with the new scheme during spring practice. "Coach Kelly is very excited about the possibilities of the Irish defense relative to Jaylon Smith lining up in the God linebacker position in Notre Dame's new 10-1 defensive alignment next year," said a source close to Kelly and Irish Defensive Coordinator Ryan VanMorrison late Monday.
Earth-pacific-ocean-580x580_medium
Preliminary playbook rendering of Jaylon Smith's likely coverage responsibilities
Kelly tweeted last week that that he and Defensive Coordinator Brandon JamBander are "moving Jaylon Smith around because we don't won't offenses to know where his is." But Kelly has reportedly reconsidered his earlier statements about moving Smith around the defensive front seven. Behind the scenes, Kelly and VonBondie are said to now be completely willing to let opposing offenses know exactly where Smith will be lining up--everywhere.
Galaxy_universe-normal_medium
Revised rendering of Smith's defensive alignment and responsibilities
A source close to Defensive Coordinator Byron CanNewton indicated late this week that it was taking him somewhat longer than expected to put the finishing touches on his experimental scheme. "We're just trying to decide how best to define the infinitesimally small portion of the field that the rest of the defense will be covering. There is also the space time continuum to think about. It's entirely possible that Smith could be covering areas of the field occupied by other defenders. As we know, no two pieces of matter can occupy the same space, so we need to be careful to not destroy the very fabric of the universe. Football is important at Notre Dame, sure, but creating a disturbance in the space-time continuum would be completely inconsistent with Notre Dame's Catholic mission and unacceptable to this coaching staff."
There's also the problem of how to make the new gap responsibilities teachable, says SlamDunker. "Does an asymptote adequately describe how Smith's coverage area approaches infinity? Or is his coverage area actually infinity? Dividing by zero indicates that it may be. Or does the event horizon provide a closer parrallel? Or is Jaylon actually dark matter--you can't see him, but you know he's there since the ball is heading the other way for six?"
Mayock breakdown of Smith coverage duties
Father Brian Daley of Notre Dame's Theology Department was asked for comment about the theological and metaphysical implications of fielding a defense in which one player appears in multiple places at once. "Clearly that is something only God can do. We know--we think, right?--that Jaylon won't actually be in multiple places at once, but even the Notre Dame football team's defense needs to avoid creating scandal or disseminating heresy." South Bend diocese bishop Kevin Rhoades is said to be withholding his imprimatur from Irish DC DanPatrick's defense, pending an official ad hoc synod that Pope Francis has called specifically to research this issue.
Former Notre Dame Defensive Coordinators have mixed feelings about the new defense. Bob Diaco has his doubts: "How can Jaylon Smith play defense? He just does NOT. FIT. THE. PROFILE. He's 6'2.5", 235 lbs. Not 6'4", 255.4. Not 6'6", 300.2. Not 6'4, 352.5. Not 6'0", 197.5. Not 6'4", 263.9. Not...." The interview was discontinued as Diaco could not be withdrawn from his ceaseless mumbling of defense-appropriate heights and weights. Former Irish Defensive Coordinator Kent Baer was equivocal: "I guess I'd be okay with it. Just as long as the cornerbacks are slow and small and can't turn their heads or otherwise orient their bodies in a 180 degree fashion, like this (indicating)."
Jon Tenuta's comments were harder to parse: "BLIIIIIIITTTTTZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEND EM! [Expletive deleted] SEND EM!" When advised that this was in fact an interview, and not a real, actual football game, practice, or other situation, Tenuta was undeterred: "[Expletive deleted] I SAID SEND EM!!!! [multiple expletives deleted]!!!!! SEND EM ALL LET GOD SORT EM OUT [expletive deleted]!!!"
Notre Dame alum, donor, and cat physician Bob Downs was reached for comment at a joint erectile-dysfunction-golf-handshakefulness tournament/convention held at a country club. "In my day, defenders played offense too. None of this one-way malarkey. And real men are slow and play downhill. Speed is for sissies and socialists. Think about it. They all start with ‘s.' Also, mutual funds."
A former Notre Dame student had this to say: "I'm relieved that the new defensive staff is abandoning its dogged adherence to profile," said the man, who gave his quote on the condition that the "dog" in "dogged" be italicized. "I'm sure the new defense will be the cat's pajamas," continued the man, unable to help himself."
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
the wake of recent comments by Notre Dame Head Football Coach Brian Kelly about moving Jaylon Smith around the Irish defense next year, sources have confirmed that the Irish are set to announce later today that the Irish will officially move to a 10-1 defensive alignment in 2014. The Irish have reportedly been experimenting with the new scheme during spring practice. "Coach Kelly is very excited about the possibilities of the Irish defense relative to Jaylon Smith lining up in the God linebacker position in Notre Dame's new 10-1 defensive alignment next year," said a source close to Kelly and Irish Defensive Coordinator Ryan VanMorrison late Monday.
Earth-pacific-ocean-580x580_medium
Preliminary playbook rendering of Jaylon Smith's likely coverage responsibilities
Kelly tweeted last week that that he and Defensive Coordinator Brandon JamBander are "moving Jaylon Smith around because we don't won't offenses to know where his is." But Kelly has reportedly reconsidered his earlier statements about moving Smith around the defensive front seven. Behind the scenes, Kelly and VonBondie are said to now be completely willing to let opposing offenses know exactly where Smith will be lining up--everywhere.
Galaxy_universe-normal_medium
Revised rendering of Smith's defensive alignment and responsibilities
A source close to Defensive Coordinator Byron CanNewton indicated late this week that it was taking him somewhat longer than expected to put the finishing touches on his experimental scheme. "We're just trying to decide how best to define the infinitesimally small portion of the field that the rest of the defense will be covering. There is also the space time continuum to think about. It's entirely possible that Smith could be covering areas of the field occupied by other defenders. As we know, no two pieces of matter can occupy the same space, so we need to be careful to not destroy the very fabric of the universe. Football is important at Notre Dame, sure, but creating a disturbance in the space-time continuum would be completely inconsistent with Notre Dame's Catholic mission and unacceptable to this coaching staff."
There's also the problem of how to make the new gap responsibilities teachable, says SlamDunker. "Does an asymptote adequately describe how Smith's coverage area approaches infinity? Or is his coverage area actually infinity? Dividing by zero indicates that it may be. Or does the event horizon provide a closer parrallel? Or is Jaylon actually dark matter--you can't see him, but you know he's there since the ball is heading the other way for six?"
Mayock breakdown of Smith coverage duties
Father Brian Daley of Notre Dame's Theology Department was asked for comment about the theological and metaphysical implications of fielding a defense in which one player appears in multiple places at once. "Clearly that is something only God can do. We know--we think, right?--that Jaylon won't actually be in multiple places at once, but even the Notre Dame football team's defense needs to avoid creating scandal or disseminating heresy." South Bend diocese bishop Kevin Rhoades is said to be withholding his imprimatur from Irish DC DanPatrick's defense, pending an official ad hoc synod that Pope Francis has called specifically to research this issue.
Former Notre Dame Defensive Coordinators have mixed feelings about the new defense. Bob Diaco has his doubts: "How can Jaylon Smith play defense? He just does NOT. FIT. THE. PROFILE. He's 6'2.5", 235 lbs. Not 6'4", 255.4. Not 6'6", 300.2. Not 6'4, 352.5. Not 6'0", 197.5. Not 6'4", 263.9. Not...." The interview was discontinued as Diaco could not be withdrawn from his ceaseless mumbling of defense-appropriate heights and weights. Former Irish Defensive Coordinator Kent Baer was equivocal: "I guess I'd be okay with it. Just as long as the cornerbacks are slow and small and can't turn their heads or otherwise orient their bodies in a 180 degree fashion, like this (indicating)."
Jon Tenuta's comments were harder to parse: "BLIIIIIIITTTTTZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEND EM! [Expletive deleted] SEND EM!" When advised that this was in fact an interview, and not a real, actual football game, practice, or other situation, Tenuta was undeterred: "[Expletive deleted] I SAID SEND EM!!!! [multiple expletives deleted]!!!!! SEND EM ALL LET GOD SORT EM OUT [expletive deleted]!!!"
Notre Dame alum, donor, and cat physician Bob Downs was reached for comment at a joint erectile-dysfunction-golf-handshakefulness tournament/convention held at a country club. "In my day, defenders played offense too. None of this one-way malarkey. And real men are slow and play downhill. Speed is for sissies and socialists. Think about it. They all start with ‘s.' Also, mutual funds."
A former Notre Dame student had this to say: "I'm relieved that the new defensive staff is abandoning its dogged adherence to profile," said the man, who gave his quote on the condition that the "dog" in "dogged" be italicized. "I'm sure the new defense will be the cat's pajamas," continued the man, unable to help himself."
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This one is substantially more funny than the previous April Fools article posted about Everett. I love the names they come up with for BVG.
Sherm Sticky
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I'm down with that alignment.
C
Cackalacky
Guest
All the gaps.
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I love Jaylon as much as the next guy but your joking right. You think that having Jaylon at DT would suffice over the course of a game or season? He had a tough time playing the run against Stanford last season.
gkIrish
Greek God
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- 1,004
I am joking.
But if I was forced to play the same player at every position, it would definitely be him.