Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[ulukinatme]

Not mine, just sharing

• Wife: Booked our flights for my friends wedding
• Me: Cool, where is it again?
• Wife: Just outside of DC
• Me: Great, I have a good friend in DC that we can stop and see

Days later after messaging my friend to schedule

• Me: Why does my flight say Raleigh, NC?
• Wife: Because that is where the wedding is located
• Me: Is that near DC to you?
• Wife: Walks away

 

[ab2cmiller]

Over six months in between posts in this thread is not acceptable. LOL

 

[Irish#1]

Okay, I have one for you. We have a Lazy Susan in the corner of our kitchen cabinets. One of the shelves cracked, so the wife ordered a replacement. It arrives and when I go to install it, it's too small. Of course she swears she ordered the right one.

Not much, but all I got fellas.

 

[ulukinatme]

Okay, I have one for you. We have a Lazy Susan in the corner of our kitchen cabinets. One of the shelves cracked, so the wife ordered a replacement. It arrives and when I go to install it, it's too small. Of course she swears she ordered the right one.

Not much, but all I got fellas.

"Measure once, order twice."

 

[ab2cmiller]

Okay, I have one for you. We have a Lazy Susan in the corner of our kitchen cabinets. One of the shelves cracked, so the wife ordered a replacement. It arrives and when I go to install it, it's too small. Of course she swears she ordered the right one.

Not much, but all I got fellas.

That's nothing. We were finishing our basement and one of us decided to buy a "display" kitchen cabinet set that was being discontinued from Menards without measuring the corner unit which was too wide to go down the basement stairs.

Oh wait, that wasn't my wife.

 

[Ndaccountant]

That's nothing. We were finishing our basement and one of us decided to buy a "display" kitchen cabinet set that was being discontinued from Menards without measuring the corner unit which was too wide to go down the basement stairs.

Oh wait, that wasn't my wife.

Rule number 34: Never let your mistress decorate.

 

[goldandblue]

I got yelled at by the wife this weekend for helping her with the laundry… her reasoning was that she had already been working on it.

 

[Some Irish Bloke]

That's nothing. We were finishing our basement and one of us decided to buy a "display" kitchen cabinet set that was being discontinued from Menards without measuring the corner unit which was too wide to go down the basement stairs.

Oh wait, that wasn't my wife.

Also in the middle of renovating my basement and I'm getting (no joke) dozens of links from pinterest or the like for "decor ideas" for what was supposed to be my man cave, since she decorated every other room in this house.

sigh.

 

[Irish#1]

Also in the middle of renovating my basement and I'm getting (no joke) dozens of links from pinterest or the like for "decor ideas" for what was supposed to be my man cave, since she decorated every other room in this house.

sigh.

Good Luck.

 

[Wild Bill]

women smh

 

[Irish#1]

The wife has been on a TEMU kick. The other day she tells me she is done buying from them. I go check the mail and guess what's in it? Yep, a package from TEMU. As I'm walking up the driveway she asks what I have. I tell her it isn't mind. She then proceeds to tell me that's the last one. lol

 

[ulukinatme]

The wife has been on a TEMU kick. The other day she tells me she is done buying from them. I go check the mail and guess what's in it? Yep, a package from TEMU. As I'm walking up the driveway she asks what I have. I tell her it isn't mind. She then proceeds to tell me that's the last one. lol

Are you sure it's not for you if it's the TEMU lingerie?

 

[ulukinatme]

Also not mine, just sharing:


Boy has a project to build a model of the earth. I help him by going out and buying clay, paint, we get a box, make a stand. I help him get started and we make the inner core and outer core. Between layers painting it. Next we just need the mantle and then the crust.


Then the wife helps. She doesn’t understand why we have the inner core exposed, so she mashes it down, builds a mantle layer from plain white clay, then adds some red clay to cover the outer core as well. That we painted. It is completely ruined.


Boy pained the box, glued little stars in it and all it needed was the earth model. Her thought is to just make it in Minecraft. I suppose he should just toss a flash drive in the box.

I am a geologist, btw.

 

[SDIrishFan]

My wife insists on running the exhaust fan in the bathroom the entire 1.5+ hours she’s getting ready for work.

It’s cool, I paid crazy money to heat the house, let me pay more to blow that warm air right back outside.

 

[ulukinatme]

 

[ulukinatme]

Holy shit, this is an analogy for marriage sometimes lol

 

[Some Irish Bloke]

"Is NIU good?"

I was so fuckin mad.

 

[GrangerIrish24]

"Is NIU good?"

I was so fuckin mad.

I got "I thought ND was supposed to win".

 

[ndfanatic78]

I’m so thankful I never got married

 

[NDBoiler]

Holy shit, this is an analogy for marriage sometimes lol

That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen 😂. Even thought I couldn’t understand the language, I knew exactly what they were saying (and what he was thinking 😂)

 

[Henges24]

I got a “Uh Oh!”

Bytch, I know, cant you see my bleeding soul?

 

[calvegas04]

I got "I thought ND was supposed to win".

"I thought you said this was an easy game for ND"

 

[NDpendent]

That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen 😂. Even thought I couldn’t understand the language, I knew exactly what they were saying (and what he was thinking 😂)

I had it muted and it was still hilarious. She was so mad he got it right despite not listening to her. He better apologize if he wants desert tonight

 

[Irish#1]

I’ll give my lady credit. She didn’t say a thing.

 

[Henges24]

I’ll give my lady credit. She didn’t say a thing.

Besides “wow, Marcus”

 

[calvegas04]

Besides “wow, Marcus what a moron”

fixed

 

[ulukinatme]

My daughter, who is super intelligent but doesn't care a lick for sports, "Why do you care? You weren't the one playing the game."
I then tried to explain to her about upsets and being passionate about something in your life. I tried using terms and real life scenarios she might understand so she could correlate it with something from her own perspective like her band competitions, she did not comprehend. "Silly sports."

My wife, who was a little tipsy after hanging out with the neighbors, decided to come poke the bear. She thought she was being funny. I wasn't particularly amused. I calmly suggested she go to bed as she wasn't helping. Turns out I was the asshole. Oh well. I was over it after a good sleep.

 

[Irish#1]

Besides “wow, Marcus”

Nah, not even with Hartman. She's been jaded ever since she saw Quinn in the players walk. lol

 

[Cackalacky2.0]

My daughter, who is super intelligent but doesn't care a lick for sports, "Why do you care? You weren't the one playing the game."
I then tried to explain to her about upsets and being passionate about something in your life. I tried using terms and real life scenarios she might understand so she could correlate it with something from her own perspective like her band competitions, she did not comprehend. "Silly sports."

My wife, who was a little tipsy after hanging out with the neighbors, decided to come poke the bear. She thought she was being funny. I wasn't particularly amused. I calmly suggested she go to bed as she wasn't helping. Turns out I was the asshole. Oh well. I was over it after a good sleep.

Your error was telling her to go to bed. 😂. That’s the exact moment you fucked up dawg.

 

[IrishLion]

As soon as the field goal got blocked, my wife was like "welp the kids got their ice cream and now the baby needs a bath, I'm taking the dog for a walk, also that game looked shitty, bye!"

Can't tell if my wife was escaping before I turned into an angry asshole, or if she was forcing me to get over it by leaving me alone with all three kids lol