I’m not a short man.
I don’t have much meat on my bones, but I’m nearly 6-foot-2.
This guy towered over me. He must have been four inches taller and easily outweighed me by 100 pounds.
Did I mention he had an extensive criminal record?
He glared down at me as we stood in the Stuart News lobby.
“You’re going to tell me who f$&*!#* wrote this about me,” he shouted.
He wanted to know who had written an unbylined “staff report.” The report was about how he had attacked his neighbor after an argument. His real anger was that the report mentioned that this incident happened while he was out on bail on charges of molesting his step daughter.
I don’t recall all of what he said in the 5 to 10 minutes of discussion before this moment. But I know that his threat against this unnamed reporter wasn’t implied. It wasn’t one of those statements that if you take the actual words they aren’t bad, but the tone is menacing.
No, his words were a clear and obvious threat.
I knew who the reporter was. She was our crime reporter. A young woman, in her mid-20s.
I also knew there was no way in hell I was telling this man anything about her.
“Sir,” I looked up and said with as much force as I could muster, “you are threatening my reporter. So even if it was appropriate for me to tell you who wrote this piece, I never would. Now, all of the information in this report came from the police report. I’d be happy to call the police and you can discuss your concerns with them if you’d like. Otherwise, I think you better leave.”
Like most bullies, when I stood up to him he backed down. He claimed he never threatened anyone and left.
Once he walked out the door, I stood there for a moment in shock.
As I watched him walk away, I turned back toward the front desk in the center of the lobby and saw the middle-aged receptionist and a sales manager staring at me with their mouths open.
“You can go now,” the receptionist told the sales manager.
Turning to me, she said: “He (meaning the sales manager) was just walking through the lobby and I grabbed him and made him stay because I wanted another man here in the lobby in case things went bad. And I also had the phone ready to dial 911.”
In the moment, I didn’t fear for my safety. I just wanted the guy to leave. But seeing the look on their faces, it struck me that I was just in a dangerous situation.
In my journalism career, that’s probably the closest I’ve come to danger. But journalists everywhere face threats, attacks and danger everyday.
As I have transitioned to working in TV newsrooms, I’ve discovered how many stalkers become obsessed with female on-air journalists. One of my co-workers had at least two stalkers (with restraining orders against them both) just in the three years I worked with her.
I have former co-workers who have been embedded in military units, reported in war torn countries and covered the Mexican drug cartels. I know journalists who have faced threats from organized crime.
I sent a reporter to Indonesia. Before she left, we had hours of discussions with risk management because of the proliferation of ISIS in that area of the world. The country was rated as a very high travel risk. It was even more dangerous for western journalists because, as our risk manager told our reporter: “ISIS would love nothing more than to capture you and take video cutting off your head.”
In college, I had Terry Anderson as a professor. He was held captive by Hezbollah from 1985 to 1991. That’s six years of captivity and knowing that at any moment his captors might decide to kill him.
Again in Florida, we used to have a man who would call repeatedly from a mental facility. There was no violence in his tone or words. But he clearly had a level of interest in the paper that wasn’t normal. Who is to say what this unstable person could have done?
All this is to say, that reporters have been targets of violence for years. And the level of obsession with journalists and the institutions they report for can attract people with mental illness.
I know many people are making this about Donald Trump.
But to me, this isn’t about politics.
Yes, our President’s anti-media rhetoric is alarming.
Maybe calling journalists “enemies of the state” emboldened the man accused of killing five at the Capital Gazette. But who knows what actually drove a man with a years-long vendetta to take drastic action.
Regardless of what pushed this man to take five lives and injure others, where we as a country go from here is important.
If you’ve never been a journalist or never worked in a newsroom, you likely don’t understand.
The people who become journalists -- especially those in local newsrooms -- do this because it is a calling.
For the most part, the pay sucks. The hours are long. You probably have to work some (or all) weekends and holidays. The business model is unstable.
And occasionally you might have a splash of danger thrown in.
But the hunger to tell important stories, to make communities better and to hold the powerful accountable drives journalists to do their jobs.
There’s a saying that when everyone else is running away, police and firefighters run toward a burning building.
You know what? So do journalists.
They may not risk their lives to set foot in the burning building. But it is a journalist’s job, in some instances, to talk to people on the worst day of their lives. Sometimes journalists end up with PTSD.
It’s not easy.
But sometimes it’s a journalist’s job to tell the stories of those who lost their lives, to point out changes that could protect others and to remember those who are gone.
It’s even harder when those people lost and remembered were your friends and colleagues. A former co-worker of mine worked at the Capital Gazette for eight years. He posted each of the five obituaries from yesterday’s shooting on Facebook with his own memories of those individuals.
Reading each was like a sucker punch because I saw in those memories, similarities to individuals I used to work with.
Yet through it all the Capital Gazette staff vowed: “We Are Putting Out a Damn Paper Tomorrow.”
And they did.
So no matter which side of the political spectrum you are on, I hope today you take a moment to reflect on the journalists out there who work long hours often for low pay -- and sometimes even risking their lives.
All journalists aren’t perfect. Just as all police officers, firefighters, government officials or teachers aren’t perfect.
But know this: There are journalists are out there working for you, to tell the truth and make your community better.