Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[IrishLion]

I think she knew I was married and saw me with all those females. When I got back to work I was called to my immediate supervisors office and had an offical reprimand by both of them. I asked her what I did that would make her think I would need this talk and her answer was that I was young, attractive and a "social juggernaut". At the end of the day I took it as a compliment.

I later found out my office had a horrible issues in regard to just about everyone sleeping around with just about everyone in the office. Also, I was told there is not a trainning that goes by that there are not similar issues to mine. The problem is female to male ratio at these trainings in combo with free drinks for 4 weeks.

I would've made my two free drinks last just long enough to be polite and to make sure everyone knows that I'm not an anti-social weirdo. Also would've made sure to bro it out with the other 4 guys that were there at all times.

I would've then kept a bunch of reading material and my XB1 in my room and made that a safe-space, just to be sure that I'm above reproach.

 

[ThePiombino]

I would've made my two free drinks last just long enough to be polite and to make sure everyone knows that I'm not an anti-social weirdo. Also would've made sure to bro it out with the other 4 guys that were there at all times.

I would've then kept a bunch of reading material and my XB1 in my room and made that a safe-space, just to be sure that I'm above reproach.

We call that a cockblock.

 

[calvegas04]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

I would have had all my limbs ripped one at a time and each limb would be sent to each corner of the US as a warning to all men.

 

[Blazers46]

I would've made my two free drinks last just long enough to be polite and to make sure everyone knows that I'm not an anti-social weirdo. Also would've made sure to bro it out with the other 4 guys that were there at all times.

I would've then kept a bunch of reading material and my XB1 in my room and made that a safe-space, just to be sure that I'm above reproach.

We call that a cockblock.

40+ year old perv that made awkward homosexual comments to the me and the other guys after a few drinks, a 35 yr old former Wal-Mart sales associate for 10years who recently turned into a Social Worker, a Native American guy that was always intoxicated/passed out before most of us even returned to the hotel and a guy that talked about his wife leaving him ad nauseam. I tried to bro it out but it was difficult. I should write a screen play about this experience. New Mexico is just a very weird state.

 

[ginman]

40+ year old perv that made awkward homosexual comments to the me and the other guys after a few drinks, a 35 yr old former Wal-Mart sales associate for 10years who recently turned into a Social Worker, a Native American guy that was always intoxicated/passed out before most of us even returned to the hotel and a guy that talked about his wife leaving him ad nauseam. I tried to bro it out but it was difficult. I should write a screen play about this experience. New Mexico is just a very weird state.

I need to sell some stock, which company do you work for?

 

[BeauBenken]

I would've made my two free drinks last just long enough to be polite and to make sure everyone knows that I'm not an anti-social weirdo. Also would've made sure to bro it out with the other 4 guys that were there at all times.

I would've then kept a bunch of reading material and my XB1 in my room and made that a safe-space, just to be sure that I'm above reproach.

I would've been fired for banging all the trainees...

But I'm not married.

 

[military_irish]

Typical conversation between my ex-wife and I.

Ex-wife: hey can you take the trash out for me. (typically this is asked while i am watching a game, a movie, or eating.)
Me: Yeah I will. Just give me a sec.
Ex-wife: You know what never mind I'll do it.
Me: Ok...(while shaking my head)
Ex-wife: You're really not going to do it?
Me: You said you were going to do it. ( i still stand up,put a pep in my step, and head for the trash)
Ex-wife: I don't want you to do it. You're just doing it because I asked.

At this moment I stand in a frozen stance unaware of exactly what my next move should be. I tried every option at some point. None were ever right.

 

[Irish Insanity]

I would've been fired for banging all the trainees...

But I'm not married.

Maybe they didn't frown upon dude on dude.

 

[ulukinatme]

I went to my best (guy) friend's wedding with my SO a couple of months back and danced with both him and his brother, whom I've known since infancy. Slow danced. My SO took pictures for us since the professional photographer had already left.

Your wife sounds, honestly, exhausting.

Yup, she is. The whole ordeal carried over into the next day, even though I apologized to try and get the issue resolved so we could move on and enjoy Christmas for the kids. Eventually she said she was sorry too, even though I'm not sure I was really in the wrong at any point. She blamed it on PMS.

 

[drake29]

Typical conversation between my ex-wife and I.

Ex-wife: hey can you take the trash out for me. (typically this is asked while i am watching a game, a movie, or eating.)
Me: Yeah I will. Just give me a sec.
Ex-wife: You know what never mind I'll do it.
Me: Ok...(while shaking my head)
Ex-wife: You're really not going to do it?
Me: You said you were going to do it. ( i still stand up,put a pep in my step, and head for the trash)
Ex-wife: I don't want you to do it. You're just doing it because I asked.

At this moment I stand in a frozen stance unaware of exactly what my next move should be. I tried every option at some point. None were ever right.

Lol, I feel your pain.

 

[Quinntastic]

Yup, she is. The whole ordeal carried over into the next day, even though I apologized to try and get the issue resolved so we could move on and enjoy Christmas for the kids. Eventually she said she was sorry too, even though I'm not sure I was really in the wrong at any point. She blamed it on PMS.

I honestly hope your happy times with your wife outweigh these kinds of times you have described, uluk. Life is way too short to spend it with someone who makes you miserable all the time.

That goes for all ya'll.

 

[ulukinatme]

Don't bring logic into this thread! This is for all us married saps to commiserate in our experiences because the alternative is too expensive to consider

 

[Irish#1]

I honestly hope your happy times with your wife outweigh these kinds of times you have described, uluk. Life is way too short to spend it with someone who makes you miserable all the time.

That goes for all ya'll.

As much as men don't understand women, apparently women don't understand men either! lol

 

[dre1919]

They divorce you when you're in another state, trying to set up a new life for them at her request.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[connor_in]

Typical conversation between my ex-wife and I.

Ex-wife: hey can you take the trash out for me. (typically this is asked while i am watching a game, a movie, or eating.)
Me: Yeah I will. Just give me a sec.
Ex-wife: You know what never mind I'll do it.
Me: Ok...(while shaking my head)
Ex-wife: You're really not going to do it?
Me: You said you were going to do it. ( i still stand up,put a pep in my step, and head for the trash)
Ex-wife: I don't want you to do it. You're just doing it because I asked.

At this moment I stand in a frozen stance unaware of exactly what my next move should be. I tried every option at some point. None were ever right.

You live with your ex-wife?

 

[Guest]

Yup, she is. The whole ordeal carried over into the next day, even though I apologized to try and get the issue resolved so we could move on and enjoy Christmas for the kids. Eventually she said she was sorry too, even though I'm not sure I was really in the wrong at any point. She blamed it on PMS.

My wife is the jealous type but I don't put up with her getting angry anytime she thinks there is a possibility something is amiss. If I did, she would try to control everything I ever did and marriage is not an excuse for a controlling relationship. There should be trust and clear communication instead.

My job requires travel and I simply explain where I'll be, with who, and what I am doing while I am away. Sometimes I travel with females which is unavoidable as they are as much a part of the work force as males. The rule I make is one dinner with the team per week of travel, then we all get to do what we want the other nights and are not obligated to spend time together. This also keeps the group fresh and not spending too much time together to avoid people irritating each other.

I also call my wife at least once a day and/or night and let her know where I am at. This works. I went to Vegas two years in a row for conferences, not my idea but my managers. I just called my wife frequently and even Facetime with her and the kids to put her at ease.

Plus I am a homebody most of the time to that helps. I went to a show once each in Vegas than pretty much stayed in my hotel or around it the rest of the time. I did walk out a bit but never really stayed out past 10. I don't give her a reason to be worried and also ask that she trusts me while I am gone.

 

[military_irish]

You live with your ex-wife?

Lol no, those situations happened when we were married. It would have been weird calling her my wife.

 

[Quinntastic]

Don't bring logic into this thread! This is for all us married saps to commiserate in our experiences because the alternative is too expensive to consider

Hey, I've been married and paid for the divorce 100% myself. The scumbag even walked out on his 18 month old son, never to be seen or heard from again. Has never paid a dime of child support, either.

I've been holding my own, on my own, for eight years now. So trust me, I get it. But if I would have stayed with him just because the alternative was too expensive, I would have gone absolutely, certifiably, insane. Not to mention I would have never met my current significant other and that would be awful because he much better in bed than my ex (and is better in pretty much every other area, also)

 

[ulukinatme]

Hey, I've been married and paid for the divorce 100% myself. The scumbag even walked out on his 18 month old son, never to be seen or heard from again. Has never paid a dime of child support, either.

I've been holding my own, on my own, for eight years now. So trust me, I get it. But if I would have stayed with him just because the alternative was too expensive, I would have gone absolutely, certifiably, insane. Not to mention I would have never met my current significant other and that would be awful because he much better in bed than my ex (and is better in pretty much every other area, also)

And because you're awesome, and just for you, in this thread your ex qualifies as a wife. Feel free to commiserate and insert any stories of his stupidity and douchiness that you care to share. You've earned that right.

 

[calvegas04]

My wife is the jealous type but I don't put up with her getting angry anytime she thinks there is a possibility something is amiss. If I did, she would try to control everything I ever did and marriage is not an excuse for a controlling relationship. There should be trust and clear communication instead.

My job requires travel and I simply explain where I'll be, with who, and what I am doing while I am away. Sometimes I travel with females which is unavoidable as they are as much a part of the work force as males. The rule I make is one dinner with the team per week of travel, then we all get to do what we want the other nights and are not obligated to spend time together. This also keeps the group fresh and not spending too much time together to avoid people irritating each other.

I also call my wife at least once a day and/or night and let her know where I am at. This works. I went to Vegas two years in a row for conferences, not my idea but my managers. I just called my wife frequently and even Facetime with her and the kids to put her at ease.

Plus I am a homebody most of the time to that helps. I went to a show once each in Vegas than pretty much stayed in my hotel or around it the rest of the time. I did walk out a bit but never really stayed out past 10. I don't give her a reason to be worried and also ask that she trusts me while I am gone.

Your wife is the dictator in your marriage and you don't even know

 

[Blazers46]

Wife was online buying Carrie Underwood tickets. All the good seats have been taken so she goes on another ticket site to get a good pair in the second hand market. They are double the price plus the ticket site fee.

Me: Sometimes when I don't have ND tickets I just wait until kickoff and I can get tickets at face value or cheaper right there on campus.

Wife: So you go without tickets and risk not getting tickets?

Me: works every time.

Wife: This isn't Notre Dame, this is CARRIE UNDERWOOD. People don't just give those away.

I don't know if I should laugh or think this whole marriage is a sham.

 

[wizards8507]

Wife was online buying Carrie Underwood tickets. All the good seats have been taken so she goes on another ticket site to get a good pair in the second hand market. They are double the price plus the ticket site fee.

Me: Sometimes when I don't have ND tickets I just wait until kickoff and I can get tickets at face value or cheaper right there on campus.

Wife: So you go without tickets and risk not getting tickets?

Me: works every time.

Wife: This isn't Notre Dame, this is CARRIE UNDERWOOD. People don't just give those away.

I don't know if I should laugh or think this whole marriage is a sham.

She might actually be right. The tailgating and whatnot of a Notre Dame game bring lots of people to campus for reasons other than the game. Physically entry into the stadium is only one component of the experience, so the pool of folks with extra tickets on-site is quite large. There's really no reason to go to a concert venue unless you plan on actually GOING to the concert.

 

[Irish#1]

Wife was online buying Carrie Underwood tickets. All the good seats have been taken so she goes on another ticket site to get a good pair in the second hand market. They are double the price plus the ticket site fee.

Me: Sometimes when I don't have ND tickets I just wait until kickoff and I can get tickets at face value or cheaper right there on campus.

Wife: So you go without tickets and risk not getting tickets?

Me: works every time.

Wife: This isn't Notre Dame, this is CARRIE UNDERWOOD. People don't just give those away.

I don't know if I should laugh or think this whole marriage is a sham.

Laugh, but not in her face.

 

[ulukinatme]

Wife was online buying Carrie Underwood tickets. All the good seats have been taken so she goes on another ticket site to get a good pair in the second hand market. They are double the price plus the ticket site fee.

Me: Sometimes when I don't have ND tickets I just wait until kickoff and I can get tickets at face value or cheaper right there on campus.

Wife: So you go without tickets and risk not getting tickets?

Me: works every time.

Wife: This isn't Notre Dame, this is CARRIE UNDERWOOD. People don't just give those away.

I don't know if I should laugh or think this whole marriage is a sham.

Definitely the later. Bigger question, is your wife an Irish fan or not? Maybe I'm a fanatic, but I would always choose to see the Irish play over any of my favorite bands or artists, alive or dead. You typically know what you're going to get when you go to a concert, and they're a lot of fun, but college football is unpredictable...for the better or the worse. I've been to some awful football games, but I'd still rather go to a game than a concert any day.

Related note: my wife, crazy as she may be, is rooting Irish on Friday despite her family all being Buckeyes. I told her I wouldn't hold it against her, but she says she's Irish now.

 

[bkess8]

Wife was online buying Carrie Underwood tickets. All the good seats have been taken so she goes on another ticket site to get a good pair in the second hand market. They are double the price plus the ticket site fee.

Me: Sometimes when I don't have ND tickets I just wait until kickoff and I can get tickets at face value or cheaper right there on campus.

Wife: So you go without tickets and risk not getting tickets?

Me: works every time.

Wife: This isn't Notre Dame, this is CARRIE UNDERWOOD. People don't just give those away.

I don't know if I should laugh or think this whole marriage is a sham.

I can see my wife saying something like this! I would just walk out of the room and come back at a later time (with beer in hand and smile on my face).

 

[irishff1014]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

At least your wife understood your point I would have come home to an empty house.

 

[IrishLax]

Wife was online buying Carrie Underwood tickets. All the good seats have been taken so she goes on another ticket site to get a good pair in the second hand market. They are double the price plus the ticket site fee.

Me: Sometimes when I don't have ND tickets I just wait until kickoff and I can get tickets at face value or cheaper right there on campus.

Wife: So you go without tickets and risk not getting tickets?

Me: works every time.

Wife: This isn't Notre Dame, this is CARRIE UNDERWOOD. People don't just give those away.

I don't know if I should laugh or think this whole marriage is a sham.

Blazers... dude, I hate to say it, but every single one of your posts I read and go "this belongs in the "Husbands and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do" thread.

At football games, there are lots of scenarios where people have "extras." Also, scalping isn't heavily policed. At many concert venues its exceedingly rare and/or risky to try to scalp at the event. I had a friend get busted by an undercover cop for trying to sell two extra John Mayer tickets, and it wasn't great.

 

[IrishLax]

I also keep picturing blazer's wonderful wife go to feminist message boards and being like "men are the dumbest, you won't believe what..."

 

[greyhammer90]

At football games, there are lots of scenarios where people have "extras." Also, scalping isn't heavily policed. At many concert venues its exceedingly rare and/or risky to try to scalp at the event. I had a friend get busted by an undercover cop for trying to sell two extra John Mayer tickets, and it wasn't great.

I've never heard of this before and I've scalped a ton of concert tickets in my time (Nashville). What do they charge you with?

 

[wizards8507]

I've never heard of this before and I've scalped a ton of concert tickets in my time (Nashville). What do they charge you with?

I suspect Nashville might be a unique beast in that regard.