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Take the wife to a range, and rent a couple different models. I did that for my mother and it worked out well.
Regardless of size, definitely recommend a Glock 9mm. One of the most reliable, if not most reliable gun out there. Easy to customize and cheap to shoot.
If you still haven't bought one by Christmas time, and want to hit the range, I'll be back for a few weeks to paint the interior of mom's house and can let you play with her toys. My cousin (who was both sheriff and marshal) has a nice collection we could take as well.
Definitely want her to try them out before deciding.