Being "fine with it" or not isn't the point. That's just life.
A certain chunk of the admitted class at Notre Dame (and any other elite private university) will be composed of students who otherwise wouldn't be there if not for some special, non-academic, characteristic. Maybe because they're a rich donor's kid. Maybe because they're really good at football. By the nature of competitive admissions at a small school, that means other kids who are also great candidates, and maybe better qualified, will be on the outside looking in.
That sucks for those kids, but it's entirely the prerogative of a private university to decide who they admit or not, for whatever reasons they choose (barring systematic discrimination). College admissions are a meritocracy, but only up to a point. That's life. And maybe the sooner kids figure that out the better.
And I don't know where you're going with the debt thing. It costs just as much to go to Notre Dame as it does to Vandy or Rice or Wake Forest. If you're getting a scholarship to one you're probably in position to get help at any of the others, and if you're borrowing you'll come out with about the same debt load. I love Notre Dame. I went there. Had one of the most valuable, formative, experiences of my life. But Notre Dame didn't owe me admission just because I worked hard in high school, and 15 years later I don't think my career or earning potential would have been irreparably harmed had I not gotten in and gone to, say, Vanderbilt instead.