Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

Bishop2b5

Bishop2b5

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This weekend my wife asked me to teach her how to play guitar. I asked her where she was going to get one, and she laughed and said she had half a room of them. She thought I was joking. She wants to use one of my Strats and Fender amps. I've realized that unless I'd like to become celibate, she's probably going to get to. I told her I'd teach her if she did exactly what I told her to do and didn't argue. She promised, but that's clearly not possible. She actually did amazingly well at fingering notes and chords for a beginner, so there's hope, but everything I tried to teach her, she said, "That's not how you do it on piano." Well, no shit, Princess! Y'all pray for me and if I disappear, you'll know why.
 
Bishop2b5

Bishop2b5

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GATTACA! said:
Hell yeah brother ;)

Also this just sounds like a perfect excuse for you to "have" to buy some more equipment.
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Like I need an excuse! I have a problem, but I refuse to go to the meetings or even try to stop! :D
 
Irish#1

Irish#1

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The wife decides to buy a greenhouse. It's a 6' X 8' metal structure which she decides to start building on the driveway. After convincing her it's best to build it where she wants it to set, she asks for help (we all knew that was coming). I ask her for the directions and she said she wants to build the roof first. Is that what the instructions say? No, it's what the geniuses on the internet say to do. Looking at the instructions it calls for building the base first. What a novel concept. It took me two days to build it with her helping. She mentions that one guy said it took three days for him to build his. Another guy said it only took one day. I then said, one day? He must not have had any help. lol
 
ulukinatme

ulukinatme

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Irish#1 said:
The wife decides to buy a greenhouse. It's a 6' X 8' metal structure which she decides to start building on the driveway. After convincing her it's best to build it where she wants it to set, she asks for help (we all knew that was coming). I ask her for the directions and she said she wants to build the roof first. Is that what the instructions say? No, it's what the geniuses on the internet say to do. Looking at the instructions it calls for building the base first. What a novel concept. It took me two days to build it with her helping. She mentions that one guy said it took three days for him to build his. Another guy said it only took one day. I then said, one day? He must not have had any help. lol
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GowerND11

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GrangerIrish24 said:
Its my wifes birthday today. Pray for me as no matter how hard I try, I will fail.
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My wife's birthday was Tuesday. She is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for, which sucks because she is an awesome gift giver.

My biggest problem is she will say how she really likes something, I bank it in my memory for a gift idea, then BOOM, two weeks later she comes home with it.
 
GrangerIrish24

GrangerIrish24

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GowerND11 said:
My wife's birthday was Tuesday. She is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for, which sucks because she is an awesome gift giver.

My biggest problem is she will say how she really likes something, I bank it in my memory for a gift idea, then BOOM, two weeks later she comes home
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She overwhelms me with things she’s “interested” in but not sure if she really wants it. It’s a big guessing game.
 
Some Irish Bloke

Some Irish Bloke

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I let my wife pick out her own "push present" which I learned is a thing these days a few months back. I was more than happy to do it fyi, the shit they go through over 9 months, and she's currently in induced labor and I feel like she's been put through the ringer these past 12-14 hours.

Anyways, I just let her pick outher own damn ring for the gift. We even looked at it together lol.
 
A

ab2cmiller

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A co-worker of mine hates having her birthday so much that she said she's instructed her husband to totally ignore her birthday. No present. No acknowledgement of her birthday whatsoever.

Maybe you fellas want to throw that idea to your spouses. LOL
 
Jiggafini19Deux

Jiggafini19Deux

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Mine could care less about her birthday, our anniversary, Valentine's Day. It's really nice.

She scoffs at Sweetest Day. "All the broads who need more attention want a Valentine's Day in fall? Whatever." Direct quote from when we were DATING.

It's also solid that she knows sports minus baseball, so I get baseball to myself and otherwise I don't have to hear stupid questions during football, basketball, soccer and hockey.

Takes up too much space in the garage when she parks, but otherwise, nearly 20 years later I feel like I made a good decision.
 
Ndaccountant

Ndaccountant

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Some Irish Bloke said:
I let my wife pick out her own "push present" which I learned is a thing these days a few months back. I was more than happy to do it fyi, the shit they go through over 9 months, and she's currently in induced labor and I feel like she's been put through the ringer these past 12-14 hours.

Anyways, I just let her pick outher own damn ring for the gift. We even looked at it together lol.
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Via my DeLorean, I know you will have a fight in about 5 years and your wife will bring up the fact that you never pick out her gifts and will reference this exact example. Do not reply with anything. It's a trap.
 
irishff1014

irishff1014

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GowerND11 said:
My wife's birthday was Tuesday. She is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for, which sucks because she is an awesome gift giver.

My biggest problem is she will say how she really likes something, I bank it in my memory for a gift idea, then BOOM, two weeks later she comes home with it.
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Yup. All the damn time.
 
Jimmy3Putt

Jimmy3Putt

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GrangerIrish24 said:
She overwhelms me with things she’s “interested” in but not sure if she really wants it. It’s a big guessing game.
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Surprise her with nothing.
Then tell her if she expects anything in the future she'll be more obvious with the hints.

You'll be happier and she'll be shockingly frisky when you unleash your true alpha.
 
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