Mother-in-Law stories

[ginman]

Completely inspired by the stupid wives thread- but I have way more m-i-l stories and they didn't seem to quite fit there.

My mil (not to be confused with milf) is a charmer. When my daughter was about 4, she came to visit us. She told my daughter about how she had a special relationship with her grandmother, and that she wanted to have that kind of special relationship with her. She went on to talk about 4-leaf clovers being a gift from God, and relayed stories of her and her grandma looking for 4-leaf clovers together. So i'm hearing this build-up all freaking weekend. On the day she is to leave the special moment finally arrives where she is going to take my doughtier to find a 4-leaf clover. The build-up to just how special this will be is nauseating. Well, they look and look and can't find one. MIL wants to get on the road but doesn't want to give up. Well finally she finds a 4-leaf clover with great excitement and exclaims to us all, "well, i'm going to keep this one, I need all the luck I can get and takes off!" Don't know who is more shocked, me or daughter. I of course spent the next 15 minutes with my daughter collecting 4 leaf clovers.

Top that!

 

[Jimmy3Putt]

My wife and I got married pretty young.
We didn't have very much money starting out and were very happy/surprised when my Mother in Law offered to pay for our honeymoon as a wedding gift.
That is, until I found out she was planning for her and my Father in Law to come with us!

I then quickly declined the offer and paid for a very modest one myself.

 

[IrishinTN]

My wife and I brought my son home from the hospital 2 days after his birth and had him on the changing table. My mother-in-law, only ever having two daughters, stood at the end above my son's head. My wife and I, new to the diaper changing game, stood to his left side and removed the diaper.

Now, anyone who has had a baby son now knows that when cold air hits their penis, it induces the immediate urge to evacuate their bladder. And did he ever.

It shot off like a geyser spraying up over his head, right down my mother-in-law's face and in her open mouth. HOLY COW! Talk about laugh. I laughed so hard I iterally fell over. I am laughing right now typing this and it was 18 years ago. Sooooo freaking funny.

 

[bkess8]

My wife and I brought my son home from the hospital 2 days after his birth and had him on the changing table. My mother-in-law, only ever having two daughters, stood at the end above my son's head. My wife and I, new to the diaper changing game, stood to his left side and removed the diaper.

Now, anyone who has had a baby son now knows that when cold air hits their penis, it induces the immediate urge to evacuate their bladder. And did he ever.

It shot off like a geyser spraying up over his head, right down my mother-in-law's face and in her open mouth. HOLY COW! Talk about laugh. I laughed so hard I iterally fell over. I am laughing right now typing this and it was 18 years ago. Sooooo freaking funny.

Thanks for the laugh! REPS!

 

[ARALOU]

LOL, that's epic. You know you shouldn't laugh but just can't help it. I raised four boys so I knew where that was going. I have seen them urinate a rainbow shaped stream and never get a drop on themselves. It's uncanny.

 

[ginman]

I've got a MIL story for every occasion including pee! LOL

We went to MIL's house with my great pyrenees about 10 years ago. He was about 2 at the time (he's dead now), and a great dog and obviously house broken. So we get to her house and she harasses the dog incessantly. He can't do anything right, even when he is just sleeping. Anyway two days of her bs and he unbeknownst to all goes into the master bedroom and jumps up on the bed and let's loose. She finds her comforter soaked in dog urine some time later. All I could say was "good boy."

 

[Cackalacky]

My wife and I brought my son home from the hospital 2 days after his birth and had him on the changing table. My mother-in-law, only ever having two daughters, stood at the end above my son's head. My wife and I, new to the diaper changing game, stood to his left side and removed the diaper.

Now, anyone who has had a baby son now knows that when cold air hits their penis, it induces the immediate urge to evacuate their bladder. And did he ever.

It shot off like a geyser spraying up over his head, right down my mother-in-law's face and in her open mouth. HOLY COW! Talk about laugh. I laughed so hard I iterally fell over. I am laughing right now typing this and it was 18 years ago. Sooooo freaking funny.

Been there.... lol. My first never failed to pee as soon as that diaper came off. Then they'd have that big grin like they did something great. Haha

 

[NDinL.A.]

My mother-in-law LOVES football, loves ND football, has two season tickets, has sports on the TV almost all the time, and has my favorite beers in the fridge for when we come over. I'm not going to complain LOL...

 

[IrishSteelhead]

My mother-in-law LOVES football, loves ND football, has two season tickets, has sports on the TV almost all the time, and has my favorite beers in the fridge for when we come over. I'm not going to complain LOL...

My mother in law and her husband are Alabama fans. I complain every time we are there on a Saturday.

 

[RDU Irish]

Going to visit one time, she talks up the batch of chili she is going to cook up, knows I like the stuff. I get there and look down at chicken soup in front of me. "Oh, its white chili!" Afterward I bitch to my wife about how it was OK for chicken soup but that was no chili. She defended it profusely like it was some long family recipe and I was an unrefined idiot. Fvcking chicken soup bullshit.

 

[Wingman Ray]

My wife is Ukrainian by birth and her parents still live in Ukraine. Every year I get either mother in law or father in law as houseguests for 1.5 to 2 months straight. Nice people but 2 months gets old. All that Russian language yapping constantly and I cant cook anything spicy. Succccckkkkkkssss.

 

[RDU Irish]

Lady never leaves her kitchen, not sure I have ever had the same dish twice there because she constantly makes shit up. Then you have to act like it is all gourmet 5 star when it is mostly meh and periodically terrible. Just because you are Italian doesn't mean you are immune to screwing up a meal! I guess I see where my wife gets her problem of never eating leftovers and inability to eat the same type of food within maybe two weeks of the last time.

Keep in mind, their house is like a museum. We are barely allowed in it with our kids and we are not allowed to stay in their house when we visit (they are in WI, we are in NC so that is mildly inconvenient).

So MIL has the cream she insists on making in some contraption rather than getting pre-made stuff that tastes better. Classic 4x the work for half the result you expect from this woman. It is CO2 pressurized and one time she is putting this thing together and it blows up in her face. She is just like a cartoon cream pie in the face and my wife swears except for a "shadow" of her was on the wall behind her it covered the entire kitchen. Thank God I wasn't there because I would have died laughing.

 

[ginman]

So, she pulls out some meat for sandwiches that was reportedly i9n the freezer. Wife makes the sandwiches to take to the beach. I'm the first to go for a sandwich and I take a bite and start gagging to get the crap out. The "meat" is kind of a rainbow color. We check the sell by date and it is from 3 years earlier.

oh, and the chips put into a plastic baggy that according to all senses and the label on the bag, "shrimp," was clearly reused.

 

[BGIF]

My mother-in-law LOVES football, loves ND football, has two season tickets, has sports on the TV almost all the time, and has my favorite beers in the fridge for when we come over. I'm not going to complain LOL...

And that' sweat your wife is going to grow into in the future ... you are blessed!

 

[MNIrishman]

My wife is Ukrainian by birth and her parents still live in Ukraine. Every year I get either mother in law or father in law as houseguests for 1.5 to 2 months straight. Nice people but 2 months gets old. All that Russian language yapping constantly and I cant cook anything spicy. Succccckkkkkkssss.

Oh man Ukrainian girls. They'll keep you warm at night in a cold, cold country, that's for sure.

 

[Irish#1]

My mother-in-law LOVES football, loves ND football, has two season tickets, has sports on the TV almost all the time, and has my favorite beers in the fridge for when we come over. I'm not going to complain LOL...

Sounds like your MIL reads IE religiously! lol

 

[ulukinatme]

I criticize people for not posting in the Wives thread, but I don't dare tell any on my MIL. She IS all seeing and all knowing, but with great power comes weakness, aand all that power has driven her quite mad. She's got the crazy gene in her family, and not the "Oh, that's funny, you're so crazy" kind of way. My wife's mother's side is certifiable, they're all messed up in the head in some way. I hope it's not something that manifests itself later in life, so far my wife seems fairly normal in that regard...

I don't really have any good stories to tell on her anyway, most of them are just sad because she's a control freak and makes life miserable for everyone around her.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

My MIL has lived with my wife and I ever since we got married.

 

[ulukinatme]

My MIL has lived with my wife and I ever since we got married.

I hope that's not a bad thing, but I suspect it is.

 

[zelezo vlk]

My MIL has lived with my wife and I ever since we got married.

Uh. How do you survive?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

 

[pkt77242]

My MIL has lived with my wife and I ever since we got married.

Well that is one way to remove sex from a marriage. When my in-laws visit, my wife might as well be Fort Knox.

 

[RDU Irish]

My MIL insists on staying at a hotel when they come to town. My wife gets pissed while I really don't think it is that bad.

 

[GoldenDome]

My MIL has lived with my wife and I ever since we got married.

Arthur Ashe courage award goes to...

 

[ulukinatme]

Well that is one way to remove sex from a marriage. When my in-laws visit, my wife might as well be Fort Knox.

Yup, mostly because she's a screamer though.

My MIL insists on staying at a hotel when they come to town. My wife gets pissed while I really don't think it is that bad.

Sounds like an entry for "Stupid **** My Wife Says/Does"

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I hope that's not a bad thing, but I suspect it is.

It's not all roses, but with four kids age 7 and younger, having a built-in babysitter and an extra pair of hands for dishes and laundry far outweighs any downside.

Uh. How do you survive?

It just sort of works itself out. She gets on my wife's nerves far more often than mine, honestly.

Well that is one way to remove sex from a marriage. When my in-laws visit, my wife might as well be Fort Knox.

Strangely, my MIL is probably a net positive in that category. She gives us a date night at least once a month, and reconnecting away from the kids is crucial. If she didn't live with us, we wouldn't get out nearly as often.

 

[zelezo vlk]

But does she enjoy a good whiskey?

 

[RDU Irish]

Thank you Whiskey for turning this into a freaking Dr. Phil episode.

I thank my mother in law for being the nuclear option in all arguments with my wife. "Stop acting like your mom" is equivalent to "can I just sleep on the couch already"

 

[NDohio]

When I was first married, my wife and I lived with her parents while our house was built. It was brutal. There are too many awful experiences to record them all here. There was one daily occurrence though that really drove me nuts.

I was managing a sports complex at the time and wouldn't get home until 2:00 - 2:30 AM. Every single morning at 5:30 she walked into our room and raked her fingers through my wife's jewelry box looking for earrings. The sound may as well have been fingers on a chalk board. WEAR YOUR OWN EARRINGS WOMAN!!

 

[Irish#1]

My MIL has lived with my wife and I ever since we got married.

You should be nominated for sainthood, my friend.

I'm sure I have a few stories that I've forgot over the years. What I do remember, is when my wife and I were dating. No less than a minute after pulling into the driveway the MIL to be would flip on the porch light. Five minutes later she would start flipping it off/on. I guess she thought she was stopping something we hadn't already done early in the evening.