Well, today was awful.

[dre1919]

My wife of eight years, together for ten, and mother of my two kids, five and four, divorced me today. Please people...when you take marriage vows...mean them.



It sucks when you don't get what was promised to you.

 

[ACamp1900]

Very sorry dre. Unfortunately bad things happen to good people all the time. You and your children will be in our thoughts on my end.

 

[phork]

Sorry to hear that bro, stay strong.

 

[tussin]

That's very unfortunate to hear. Stay positive man... your best days are ahead.

 

[AvesEvo]

Sorry man, a similar thing happened to me a few months ago. It isn't easy, but you're not alone.

 

[Redbar]

Tough times don't last, tough people do. There will be better days, big guy.

 

[BobD]

See, when you drive home today, you've got a big windshield on the front of your car. And you've got a little bitty rearview mirror. And the reason the windshield is so large and the rearview mirror is so small is because what's happened in your past is not near as important as what's in your future.

Joel Osteen

Sorry your going through some tough times bud.

 

[ND4LIFE]

Thinking about you Bro. Stay strong for your children and remember the tough times will pass even though certain days it may feel like they won't. Utilize the good people around you and avoid the others who only provide negativity and part time remedies. God bless! Stay strong!

 

[Pachuco]

Stay strong, man. Though difficult at times to traverse, your path will become clearer over time.

All the best...

 

[Cali_domer]

God bless you and your family, prayers sent.

 

[AdmiralBackhand]

I will be praying for your family. God still has a purpose for you as a father and husband. Keep praying for her and love her at a distance for now. The power of prayer is amazing and His presence brings peace in troubled times.

 

[DogDaysIrish]

So sorry to hear that Dre. Better days ahead.

 

[tadman95]

Sorry, that's tough, know it hurts. Went thru that years ago. Looking back, best damn thing that could have happened to me.

Can you say "Fuck Michigan"......

 

[NDinL.A.]

Woah. Were you blind-sided by this or was it a long-time coming? Really sorry to hear that bro...stay strong, especially for your kids. Prayers to you!

 

[Irish#1]

It sucks now, but time will help. Fight for those kids my friend. In the long run you'll be happy you did.

 

[FLDomer]

Prayers to you and your family Dre. Just hug and love your lil ones, you may not be married to their mom anymore but you will always be their Daddy! Stay strong and prayers.

 

[Veritate Duce Progredi]

I'm sorry to hear this Dre. I hope you find some solace from inside, something strong to lean on that will give you stability during this.

 

[ginman]

See, when you drive home today, you've got a big windshield on the front of your car. And you've got a little bitty rearview mirror. And the reason the windshield is so large and the rearview mirror is so small is because what's happened in your past is not near as important as what's in your future.


Just remember, objects in the mirror are larger than they appear. We can choose to learn and grow from our painful experiences or continue to make the same mistakes. I'm sorry that you are going thru this. Remember the kids are the most important thing. Remind them that it is not their fault and that you love them very much. In fact, I expect that you both love them very much. Try not to denigrate mom in front of them no matter how hurt or angry you are at her. I hope things get better for you soon!

 

[IrishInFl]

I always feel bad for people going through endings of relationships. I've never been married (nor do I currently desire to), but breaking up with my now ex-fiance was a very difficult thing to do (even though she was damn near crazy enough to be institutionalized). I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever come to Tallahassee, the first beer's on me.

 

[Sherm Sticky]

Sorry to hear bro. I've been through a divorce with a child involved. it's not easy and it's painful.

I'll tell you what I have told others. Going to church regularly really helped me through the process. It's going to take time to get over this, it's not a quick process.

I've been separated for 5 years now and divorced for 3 1/2 years. I have a girlfriend who I will most likely propose to in the next year and a 4 month old child, I couldn't be happier.

Keep your head up!

 

[Irish Insanity]

One mindset going forward in the situation

Love your kids more than you dislike their mother.

Live by it

 

[ulukinatme]

Keep your head up, this will be the tough part, it'll get easier. Reach out to friends and family for support, and make sure you've got some hobbies to keep you busy.

 

[calvegas04]

Sorry about the news, gonna be some tough times for you and ur family. Prayers for you all.



But look to the future now.

 

[dre1919]

Thank you all brothers for the support and well wishes, it really means a lot to me, especially now. See, the thing is it would be easier if we could point to one thing in particular that broke it all down but it's just too much pressure and stress. Eventually, something had to give.

Her and I met as me: successful 28 year old in my career field. Her? 18 year old stripper. Yeah, I know. Putting the obvious aside, at the time she really was quite mature because she had lived a hard life up to that point (I know, cliche, but true story) and I'm a hopeless romantic (Hell, it should have been me in "Say Anything"). Anyway, we were blissfully happy for 9 out of our ten years but slowly, piece by piece, stress crept in from everywhere until we were under siege from every side.

She's younger, and we got married at 20/30 so she never did the college experience and she wanted to transition into kids and owning a home. Buuuut, then after we accomplished that she really wanted her degree(s)...a dual masters in law and social work so she could be either a Guardian ad Light-em or attorney in the children and family courts. Well, that's a lot of school, and with kids that young and jobs etc., a ton of stress.

Somewhere in there I fell out of favor with her Grandmother who wanted to pay for everything as long as we lived under her rules and direction. Me being older, already a college graduate and independent, this was a problem for me. So we clashed...A LOT. This was hard on her and still is. She chose to go with Grandmother because of all the things she's doing for her (shitty, I know).

We weren't married six months when I got diagnosed with cancer...an inoperable brain tumor that I continue to battle today eight years later (it's in remission, I have great characteristics for it). But, that was even more stress for us both.

Lastly, here in Kansas City work for graphic designers and artists is rugged so you have to constantly be watching your job and/or freelancing so that's added pressure and stress to keep up with, all while raising a 4 and 5 year old. Once I fell out of favor with Grandma for not falling in line, she started pushing for me to be gone.

We tried moving to Texas where my family is and better jobs are for me. I went, got a great job and a nice place, then she was supposed to follow. She came down for the holidays of last year and her family guilted her into moving back to KC. I had no choice but to quit and return too because of my kids. We own a condo that was our home, but it had $29,000 in water damage during the bad winter snap and I had to fight to get it fixed (FU Travelers) and then now I'm fighting to keep it (FU Wells Fargo). To say my life has been a shitstorm for the past year is an understatement.

 

[ulukinatme]

Damn, Dre....that's nuts. Hope this is just the low for you and things start moving back to the positive. That's definitely one shitty year.


You should get in touch with this guy, you could probably swap some stories:
ShaggyBevo

 

[NDfan12]

My wife of eight years, together for ten, and mother of my two kids, five and four, divorced me today. Please people...when you take marriage vows...mean them.



It sucks when you don't get what was promised to you.

Sorry to hear that man. Whatever happens just remember to keep a cool head for your kids. My parents' divorce was rough.

 

[Irish Insanity]

Sorry for all the troubles you've explained. You sound like a great father who has sacrificed your own happiness and security in certain aspects of your life to ensure you were there for your kids. That's very admirable. With that being said, it doesn't sound like your ex-wife went to the same lengths.

Whats kinda creepy, I have a family member in a some what similar situation.

Married for 10 years.
Divorcing right now.
2 kids right at about the same age.
He is actually a graphic designer too.
However, no strippers were involved

 

[dre1919]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I took away from the situation Insanity. Probably good no strippers were involved. I got her out of that line of work, of course, once we went boyfriend/girlfriend. Too hard to deal with that **** when it matters, ya know?

 

[bkess8]

Sorry man, hope things get better. Prayers sent for you and your children!

 

[Jason Pham]

Damn, dre. Keeping you and your kids in my thoughts. Drinks on me the next time I'm in KC/you're in NYC.