Saban's a ramblin' man

[ACamp1900]

One thing is clear to me, Texas cannot afford to NOT move on from Brown and get a big name coach at this point...

 

[woolybug25]

Alabama Fan Explains Why Nick Saban Is Not Leaving For Texas : Outkick The Coverage

Epic.

hahaha.... too funny not to post it out.

By Rufus Snopes

Sabin is not leaving Alabama because Alabama is the GREATEST PLACE FOR FOOTBALL THAT GOD EVER MADE.

We have everthing that Texass has. It's warm here, we have a beach, our football players are better than Texass football players.

What does Texass have that Alabama doesn't have?

Just Mexicans and oil.

Only one of those things is good. (Hint: you can drive your truck with it!)

Theres no way Nick Sabin wants to coach Mexican's in football. They don't even play football in Mexico!

Texass plays in the Big 12!

They don't even have 12 teams! They can't COUNT!

We play in the SEC and the SEC is number won.

Everybody knows that.

Even Mexican's.

Why would you leave for a conference that can't count?

Do you think Sabin is stupid? Hell, hes not stupid, hes a genis.

Plus, we have the best fan's in football. Sure, some of them kill trees, and teabag passed out fans, and say, "Roll Tide," as they get arrested, but find me some fans that arent dumb. Aubies is dumb as shit. You know the differance between Aubies and shit?

Nothing.

It's the SAME THING!

Taking a job at Texass is dumber than working for Obamas health care web site!

texass.com

(I can spell, I put the ass on Texass on purpose! Get it? GET IT!)

Money?

We got money.

Alabama fans are rich as hell. You see how many of them have more than one car? Hell, even our houses have wheels.

We can pay Nick Sabin one bajillion dollars if we need too.

Alabamas already won 15 national championship's.

I know because I've got the Got 12, Got 13, Got 14 and Got 15 t-shirts. When we win a new title I go to Wal Mart to see the trophy and I retire the old shirt and by the new one. Those old Got t-shirts are on the ceiling above my bed. I don't need VIAGRA, BABY, I just look at the Tides title t-shirts and I'm hard as a lamestream media member at a food bank.

Hell, Nick Sabin doesn't want to screw my wife -- since the amputation she aint what she once was -- but if he wanted to spank her in the ass with her fake leg while I stood in the corner singing Rammer Jammer for him, I ain't gonna judge a man for his fetishes.

ITS ALL ABOUT THE TEAM.

IN ALABAMA WERE ALL ONE TEAM, DAMMIT.

If Nick Saban said, I want an entire coaching staff of midgets, we'd find the midgets for him.

Would they find the midgets for him in TEXASS?

Hell no.

They got no midget hunters in Texass.

If Nick Sabin said, I want to grill you and eat you with my oatmeal creme pies for lunch, well, there are worse ways to go than helping the Tide win a title getting eaten by cannibal Nick Sabin.

Gotta take one for the team sometimes.

Plus, if cannibal Nick Sabin ate me, I'd meet the Bear in heaven. He'd be up there and he'd growl, "Son, you gave your all for Alabama."

And he'd be right.

I'd have given my arm and leg and my head and maybe even my penis but I don't even think cannibal Nick Sabin would eat my penis.

But if he did.

I'd be honored if Nick Sabin ate me penis too.

Jesus would put his arm around me and say, "Roll Tide, roll. Sorry about this year's Iron Bowl."

Texass?

Texass is gay.

The hole state is gayer than Clay Travis on a Saturday night in Miami Beach.

You think Nick Sabin is leaving for Texass?

YOUR GAY!

Sincerly,

Rufus Snopes

P.S.

Roll Tide.

P.P.S.

TEXASS Stinks.

P.P.P.S.

Roll Tide, again.

P.P.P.P.S.

Kiss the rings, bitch.

 

[enrico514]

One thing is clear to me, Texas cannot afford to NOT move on from Brown and get a big name coach at this point...

^This

And I,m not sure who besides Saban would be acceptable to their fan base.

 

[ACamp1900]

They are set in their hearts for sure... Though if they manage Harbaugh, or someone like that they'll forget Saban real quick

 

[Irish Insanity]

hahaha.... too funny not to post it out.

If that is legit, I am speechless. And I'm referring to the post under this pic, not the pic of a guy with the B cups

 

[Irishnuke]

If that is legit, I am speechless. And I'm referring to the post under this pic, not the pic of a guy with the B cups

Dude's got bigger tits than Alex Morgan.

 

[phork]

Could you imagine how insufferable UM fans would be if Saban had gone there at some point?

 

[Bishop2b5]

Dude's got bigger tits than Alex Morgan.

Oh crap! Now you've done it! KPENN's gonna put a hit out on you.

 

[DomerInHappyValley]

So where are we at?
1 billion a year for life with a stake in the Texans or was that last nights rumor?

 

[PANDFAN]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/5CecBT5kvjQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[FLDomer]

hahaha.... too funny not to post it out.

So let me see if I got this right....

-Texas has Mexicans

-These Mexicans are apparently gay

-Alabama has a large amount of multi vehicle families

-The homes in Alabama have wheels

-Midget Hunters is an apparent profession in Alabama

-Aubies = poo

-Nick Saban has a fetish for amputees

-Nick Saban is a cannibal....who may or may not eat weeners

-Bear Bryant sits at the right hand of God

I think I have been truly educated today...

 

[PANDFAN]

So let me see if I got this right....

-Texas has Mexicans

-These Mexicans are apparently gay

-Alabama has a large amount of multi vehicle families

-The homes in Alabama have wheel

-Midget Hunters is an apparent profession in Alabama

-Aubies = poo

-Nick Saban has a fetish for amputees

-Nick Saban is a a cannibal....who may or may not eat weeners

-Bear Bryant sits at the right hand of God

I think I have been truly educated today...

it's TEXASS BITCHES !!!! get dat shit right

 

[woolybug25]

it's TEXASS BITCHES !!!! get dat shit right

Kiss the rings, bitch...

 

[Irish Insanity]

hahaha.... too funny not to post it out.

Dude, that is IrishPat.

He was from Texass (I think)

He sounds angry

Some believed he was always trollin'

His true colors finally came thru

 

[NDdomer2]

Dude, that is IrishPat.

He was from Texass (I think)

He sounds angry

Some believed he was always trollin'

His true colors finally came thru

pat had wife and kids, this guy still lives with mom. look at the elementary school photo in the back hallway

 

[Rack Em]

Are we sure Clay Travis didn't write this to troll everyone?

 

[Irish#1]

This is too funny.

 

[clashmore_jon]

well, i didnt read through more than a page or two to see if this was posted already, but in case you were wondering/want to keep up on the status of things, here's a good website:

Has Texas Hired Nick Saban Yet?

 

[Booslum31]

well, i didnt read through more than a page or two to see if this was posted already, but in case you were wondering/want to keep up on the status of things, here's a good website:

Has Texas Hired Nick Saban Yet?

The site seems to be a little unsure at this point.

 

[T Town Tommy]

hahaha.... too funny not to post it out.

I wrote the article late last week when I was drinking shine while tarring the roof of my mobile home. Shortly after the county sheriff stopped and asked why I had road signs being used as skirting on my trailer. Told him that I took them from the county over, offered him some shine, and saw he had a Roll Tide sticker on his bumper. He said all was good, offered me a chaw of tobacco, and we watched a replay of the '92 championship game on my vcr and black and white tv. Found out I was married to his cousin who somehow used to be married to her cousin... don't ask cause I can't explain. We shook hands, he thanked me for my hospitality, and drove off into the sunset blasting Sweet Home Alabama over his loud speaker. I gave him a big Roll Tide and shouted "Kiss the Rings, Bitc*es" as he drove away. No better way to cap a lazy winter day in rural Alabama.

 

[Cackalacky]

Lol Tommy. Two questions:
Was it apple or peach shine and
Afterwards did you go out with the Sherrif's and corn hole some drunks?

 

[IrishInFl]

Lol Tommy. Two questions:
Was it apple or peach shine and
Afterwards did you go out with the Sherrif's and corn hole some drunks?

Wow! Two days in a row of obscure movie reference's that I got! There should be a thread for this...

 

[T Town Tommy]

Lol Tommy. Two questions:
Was it apple or peach shine and
Afterwards did you go out with the Sherrif's and corn hole some drunks?

We didn't but maybe next time I can recommend it.

We did, however, hit the blacktop road and start stopping every vehicle driving through with Texas license plates. Confronted them about why they were in T Town and what their business was. If they even mentioned Saban and Texas we cuffed them, let them read their Miranda rights (you figure it out), and proceeded to drop them off and Billie Joe's BBQ joint holding signs that said "Texas loves Saban." The banjo players in the house band broke into a rendition of "Dueling Banjo's" reminicent from scenes from Deliverance, the sheriff fired two rounds in the air, and we proceeded back to our pseudo road block activities waiting on the next poor Texas car to pass.

 

[Bishop2b5]

We didn't but maybe next time I can recommend it.

We did, however, hit the blacktop road and start stopping every vehicle driving through with Texas license plates. Confronted them about why they were in T Town and what their business was. If they even mentioned Saban and Texas we cuffed them, let them read their Miranda rights (you figure it out), and proceeded to drop them off and Billie Joe's BBQ joint holding signs that said "Texas loves Saban." The banjo players in the house band broke into a rendition of "Dueling Banjo's" reminicent from scenes from Deliverance, the sheriff fired two rounds in the air, and we proceeded back to our pseudo road block activities waiting on the next poor Texas car to pass.

Me an my cousin Billy Joe Jim Bob Forrest Jackson like to catch Texans drivin' through town and drag 'em down to the bar. We kick 'em in the shin and while they's yellin' we tell everbody they tore Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.

 

[Irish#1]

We didn't but maybe next time I can recommend it.

We did, however, hit the blacktop road and start stopping every vehicle driving through with Texas license plates. Confronted them about why they were in T Town and what their business was. If they even mentioned Saban and Texas we cuffed them, let them read their Miranda rights (you figure it out), and proceeded to drop them off and Billie Joe's BBQ joint holding signs that said "Texas loves Saban." The banjo players in the house band broke into a rendition of "Dueling Banjo's" reminicent from scenes from Deliverance, the sheriff fired two rounds in the air, and we proceeded back to our pseudo road block activities waiting on the next poor Texas car to pass.

I'm proud of you. You can't read the Miranda rights, but at least you know how to spell Miranda.

Me an my cousin Billy Joe Jim Bob Forrest Jackson like to catch Texans drivin' through town and drag 'em down to the bar. We kick 'em in the shin and while they's yellin' we tell everbody they tore Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.

I can't remember who did the song, but I got the reference.

 

[palinurus]

I'm proud of you. You can't read the Miranda rights, but at least you know how to spell Miranda.



I can't remember who did the song, but I got the reference.

Charlie Daniels Uneasy Rider - YouTube

 

[WakeUpEchoes]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Breaking News....Nick Saban has agreed to a multi year contract extension to STAY at Alabama! Details to come out soon!!</p>— Kirk Herbstreit (@KirkHerbstreit) <a href="https://twitter.com/KirkHerbstreit/statuses/411671536811388928">December 14, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

 

[koonja]

And ESPN relieves a big sigh of relief. God forbid their baby of a conference lose its ring leader.

 

[philipm31]

I mean, honestly, there was no way he was leaving his cushy job at Alabama.

Leaving LSU for the NFL is much, MUCH different.

There was never any real danger of him leaving.

 

[Irish YJ]

Nick Saban agrees to new deal to stay with Alabama Crimson Tide - ESPN