Bill Hicks: By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself.
[audience laughs and claps]
Bill Hicks: Thank you. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root. I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do.
[audience laughs]
Bill Hicks: Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, okay? Kill yourself, seriously. You're the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No, no, this is not a joke, you're going, "there's gonna to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself.
[audience claps and whoops]
Bill Hicks: Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke..." there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend. I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations. Machi... whatever, you know what I mean. I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart."
[audience laughs]
Bill Hicks: Oh man, I am not doing that, you fucking evil scumbags. "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research. Huge market. He's doing a good thing." Goddammit, I'm not doing that, you scumbags. Quit putting a goddamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet! "Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market. Bill's very bright to do that." God, I'm just caught in a fucking web. "Ooh, the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market. Look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..." God, how do you live like that? I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you? "What did ya do tonight honey?" "Oh, we made ah, we made ah, arsenic ah, childhood food now, goodnight."
[lays down and snores]
Bill Hicks: "Yeah, we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know?"
[snores]
Bill Hicks: "Yeah, it'll... you know the mums will love it."
[snores]
Bill Hicks: [stands up] Sleep like fucking children, don't you? This is your world isn't it?
