Logging Out After Lunch

[OCIrish]

As long as we're sharing crappy stories..... on a visit down to West Lafayette, IN. I took a good friend of mine and his wife, and others to the Neon Cactus, on what turned out to be quarter beer night. I got his wife so incredibly drunk, that she ended up pissing, and dropping a deuce in his sock and underwear drawer because thought she was in the upstairs bathroom.......I didn't let him live that one down for a long time.

 

[connor_in]

 

[wizards8507]

Speaking of shit shows, last night was DOMERFEST!!1! if anyone wants to check out Twitter and troll the freshmen. #smicksdoitbetter #awkwardbutfun.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S III using Tapatalk 4

 

[Ndaccountant]

I demand story #2.

EDIT: Pun not intended, but I like it.

Part One -

Now that I have a moment, I will close the story. After this happened, it became legend within our group. We all openly questioned who would do such a thing and concluded it was a prank from one of the neighbors, even though they denied it. Only two of my roommates knew what I did and I had enough dirt on each of them that I knew they weren't telling.

Later on, one of my roommates started to date the crazy bitch during summer classes. As you could imagine, this girl was super clingy since she rarely dated people (she was probably a 6.5, but he attitude and personality made her a 3 tops). Well, once everyone else returned for fall classes, my buddy broke it off with her. Needless to say, she was devastated and not happy with him at all.

 

[Ndaccountant]

Part Two


It's now November of senior year and I am now dating the girl that I was on and off with. She lived in a house with some friends that was next door to a house with that crazy bitch. My gf's house was having a party and sure enough that bitch was there. My buddy was also there and was trying to hook up with this other girl (he had been working this angle for three weeks). Well, he heads off to piss and grab some beers and the bitch runs straight for this other girl and tells her that my buddy is just after sex (half true) and that he cheated on her dozens of times while they were together (not true) and that he paid a girl to get an abortion earlier in the fall (not true). Needless to say, this girl wasn't happy and refused to listen to my buddy and left the party.

 

[Ndaccountant]

Part Three (damn you internal error)


This really pissed off me, my buddy and the other roomie who knew what I did last year. We flirted with what we could do, realizing that if we pulled a shit stunt now, that we would all be made. So, we decided that we would wait for retribution. Poop day came in late January when my GF had another party. All week long my buddies and I planned it out. We would eat Taco Bell for lunch and dinner before heading over to the party. Then, when everyone else was at my GF's party, we would one by one go over to the bitches house, take a dump in a lunch paper bag and place it selectively. The three places we put them were in the oven, in the floor vent in her room and under her bed.

 

[Ndaccountant]

Part Four

After the party, we hit the bars as a group and while on the way back to the house, stopped off at the 7-eleven. We convinced the girls to get some frozen pizzas to heat up. The scream that came from the bitches kitchen when she realized that she pre-heated a bag of shit to 400 degrees was absolutely priceless. The only thing better was that we kept hearing about how her room was so smelly. It took a full day for her to realize that the shit smell wasn't residual oven stench but rather coming from under her bed. Then it took her two more days to realize that her room was still smelling like shit because of what was in the vent. We were very happy with the results while still keeping our cover. To this day, only the three of us (and now you all) know who was the phantom shitter.

 

[zelezo vlk]

Quick, everyone post GIFs and recipes starting..................................................................................................................now!

Damn it guys, why couldn't this have been the recipe thread?

 

[adsnorri]

No lie.....A friend and I are tailgating a couple years back on campus and he says he will be right back. had to use the joy john. Well when he got back an hour later this was his story: He was standing in line a very long line. He had bubble guts well before he even went to get in line. Well, he decided he was going to pay some people in front of him to get in front of them. Well, everyone accepted except the second to last person. Some blonde chick that wouldn't give in. He said that it got to the point where he was having the chills and he could feel it starting to come. So, he decides to pull his **** down right there and ****s on the pavement in front of everyone! Finishes, pulls his pants up and walks off like nothing ever happened.

Needless to say, we had to leave after that....

 

[NDBoiler]

Laughing so hard right now at these stories, pure awesomeness fellas.

 

[ACamp1900]

That’s hilarious accountant, and I thought my buddy from college was original/one of a kind. Okay, now I have to share...

During sophmore year I believe it was, I had a buddy, “J” I will call him, who was trying to hook up with girl from the all-girls dorm one fine evening. Long story short, he gets completely cock blocked by three or four of her fellow all girl dormites. So he heads back to his own dorm and plots hits revenge. This wasn’t just one girl so far as he was concerned, no sir, the entire girls dorm was guilty, and would have to pay. My buddy J breaks back into the girls dorm, goes to their community kitchen on the second floor and takes the dorm coffee pot and a random skillet and goes to the bathroom. Upon his return he begins to cook and brew….

My friend, wanting to share in his victory over cock fascism, called me at like four in the morning to take stock of the situation with him. By time I arrive on the scene J is on the balcony of the dorm ACROSS from the girls dorm. His ‘meal’ had apparently been cooking for about twenty minutes or so at this point. (I guess this is an important time to note the dorms at Cal St. were bare bones and old, meaning the ventilation system, for lack of a better term, pretty much ran room to room with little obstruction. The dorms pretty much always smelled like pot for instance, even in rooms where none was ever smoked. ) Jay tells me of his little adventure and we sit back and wait. It didn’t take long, soon two young men arrive at the backdoor of the girls dorm with their gf’s on each arm, apparently bringing them home from a night out. They walk in…and quickly wheel back out, all four of them,… one of the guys cries out something I will never forget so long as I live, “Damn! These bitches are stricken!!” Jay and I then proceeded to watch as the entire dorm came to life with young co eds wondering who the hell would **** is a pot and cook it… and why?? Hopefully they laid off the coffee. College.