In need of advice

[Wild Bill]

Seeking advice regarding my job/career.

TLDR; I'm 37, burned out with my current job in the medical profession (60 min commute one way), got my real estate brokerage license, not sure about making the change.

The longer version:

My main reason for the change has far more to do with me working from home more and being around my 6 and 2 year olds. Obviously, with them in school now, the real estate job may seem counterproductive to that goal. Unless my wife (a teacher) and I choose to sacrifice income and our standard way of living that we've grown accustomed to over the past ten years. I could choose to work less in general and take pay cut. Would my kids care? Of course they wouldn't. They'd just be thrilled Daddy was around more. And I would be too. But ripping that bandaid off and going down that path is terrifying from a financial standpoint. I've watched my bro/sis-in-law struggle financially for almost their entire marriage. It's a strain.

The current job pays well, is generally stress free (with exception), has a cake schedule (M-F, no call, no weekends, no holidays), but has 60 min commute each way that has really taken it's toll on my mental and physical health over the last fifteen years. The main reasons for my wandering eye: Previously mentioned time with kids, commute/desk job issues, and more recently the complete and total change in office management and politics. The corporate thumb is upon our clinic and it's been ridiculously awful to work here the last year. The near future looks even worse with the proposed changes.

Am I crazy for wanting to quit? Currently, I'm considering part time with both jobs but even that will cause me to work longer than normal hours, which is what I want to avoid. Take a pay cut? Work less? Is it worth it?

Current offers of advice: 1) Quit! Dive into real estate with both feet. You'll be fine 2) Don't quit your current job! Are you crazy? You make too much money and have an easy schedule most days. 3) Do both and slowly transition to real estate full time (which is what I'm currently on track to do. I start this weekend.)

Of course, your children would prefer having you around more but does the money you make now put them in a better position to succeed in the future. Stated differently, will the money you invest in them make a bigger impact than your time? Instinctively, we all believe that our time is more useful than our resources, but that's only true to an extent and it ignores several factors. I work a lot to provide for my family but I spend nearly every free moment, nights and weekends, with my children. I make time at the expense of my social life, gym, hobbies, etc. If I worked less/made less, the question is whether the additional time spent on them be more useful than my current disposable income I can spend on them. For me, the answer is probably not. I am far better served hiring a professional to work with them, i.e., after school tutors, sports, hobbies, etc. That's difficult to admit for most b/c it makes you sound like an absentee parent even if that's not the case.

You've been posting here for a while and you're a smart guy, so I'm guessing you'll find success in any career you choose. Option 3 is probably the direction I would choose because it lessens your risk quite a bit. That said, you have probably earned the luxury of taking a risk or two. Good luck!

 

[BleedBlueGold]

That's a tough situation. But obviously it's rather noble of you to want to take less pay to spend more time with the family, good on you.

Simple questions that came to mind first, that I'm sure are easily dismissed, but I figured I'd ask for context:

1) Is moving (to cut down on your commute time) not feasible? Is your wife teaching at the school district in which your kids attend; i.e., if you were to move 20-25 mins closer to your job, is it feasible for her to still get the kids to the school district in which they attend? Sounds like half the struggle is the commute, and I don't blame you; 2 hours in the car a day is a lot of wear and tear on you mentally.

Moving is pretty much out of the question for a lot of reasons. Location, school district, we absolutely love our neighborhood, etc. I've asked my wife about downsizing but with this market, smaller houses are costing as much or more than what we paid for the one we're in. We moved 6 years ago in the current home and it cut 25 min off of my commute but added about 10 to my wife's. Moving closer to my job also moves us further from our immediate family, with whom we spend most of our free time.

2) Are there no similar roles to your existing medical profession closer to home, or at the very least another role that won't be as much of a nightmare from a management/political perspective?

My job is a tough one to come by. Currently there are no local openings and I've struck out with interviewing for remote positions. They're out there, but just hard to get due to competitive market.

I'll say this: I changed roles this year and took a SMALL paycut. My previous job, I was burnt out, worked for a horrible manager, and felt myself getting the "Sunday scaries" and Monday blues every week; it's no way to live. Took a leap of faith and changed roles in March and I couldn't be happier. Though my pay cut was nominal and doesn't sound like it's on par with what you're considering.

If you could survive financially, and you and your wife are on the same page about the lifestyle change, it may be a blessing in disguise to consider different career options. #3 seems like the best bet; get your feet wet in real estate, but cover your ass in case it doesn't work out and you can get back into your current roll to provide for your family until you find a better, more permanent solution after real estate.

Financially, we could survive the next few months w/o a paycheck from real estate while I build my network and close some deals. The advantage is that I'm in a great office that provides a solid floor and "sky is the limit" potential depending on how hard I grind. The problem is that to get to that point, I feel like I need to make a decision to quit or at least go part time at the current job. Doing both is fine, as long as I'm not busy. Otherwise, I'm just doing half-assed work at both places because I'm spread too thin and distracted. *My boss knows about my real estate gig. He's being supportive. But for example, in the middle of a casual meeting here at work, I had to step out to take a phone call about an open house I'm scheduled to do and prepping for. It's just not an ideal situation to do both. My boss said it's all good for me to go part time....but I probably won't get the full time position back if it ever came down to it. Honestly, as much as that scares me, deep down I don't want this job anymore. I just keep it for the security it brings my family.

As far as pay, it's only a pay cut at first. There's potential for a pay raise in this brokerage, but it's probably a year or two out. A pay cut of 50% from the current job is manageable IF and ONLY IF I can offset it with some real estate transactions. Totally doable, but again, it'll take me working both jobs which is just eating into the family time, defeating the point. A close friend suggested to buck up, make a one year deal with yourself to work my ass off, and then dial everything back this time next year. It's a possible solution I suppose. It puts my desired family time off by a year, but it sets me up for a more stable transition.

 

[BleedBlueGold]

Of course, your children would prefer having you around more but does the money you make now put them in a better position to succeed in the future. Stated differently, will the money you invest in them make a bigger impact than your time? Instinctively, we all believe that our time is more useful than our resources, but that's only true to an extent and it ignores several factors. I work a lot to provide for my family but I spend nearly every free moment, nights and weekends, with my children. I make time at the expense of my social life, gym, hobbies, etc. If I worked less/made less, the question is whether the additional time spent on them be more useful than my current disposable income I can spend on them. For me, the answer is probably not. I am far better served hiring a professional to work with them, i.e., after school tutors, sports, hobbies, etc. That's difficult to admit for most b/c it makes you sound like an absentee parent even if that's not the case.

Probably a philosophical debate to have, I suppose. Personally, I feel at the younger ages (like my kids now) they care less about the "stuff" and more about time with mom and dad. I will say I've gotten good at delegating chores to subcontractors. Disposable income has allowed me to not worry about house cleaning and lawn care and I did that on purpose because it just takes up more of my time. Hobbies, camps, vacations, etc...those things will obviously be effected in the short term during a pay cut. Losing out on those does bother me, just not as much as hearing my 2 year old beg me to stay home and play with him. (For the record, I'm home by 5 every night. It's not like I work 80 hour weeks now...but I genuinely would love more time with them than the three hours each evening.)

You've been posting here for a while and you're a smart guy, so I'm guessing you'll find success in any career you choose. Option 3 is probably the direction I would choose because it lessens your risk quite a bit. That said, you have probably earned the luxury of taking a risk or two. Good luck!

Thanks. I enjoy this site. Came for the ND Football talk and stayed for the deep discussions and comradery (would be nice to get a lot of the OG posters back, but I digress).

Option 3 is currently in motion. September or October is my time line for possibly going part time. A lot of that is dependent on just how busy I get with real estate.

Appreciate the chat.

 

[NorthDakota]

Moved back to NY today. Had found some guys to get an apartment with. We all chatted with each other and the guys m who were currently living there to see if it would be a good fit. It seemed like it would...and everything was going swimmingly today until I asked the roommate for the wifi password..."Its FightOn!"

How do I handle this?

 

[dad4aa]

Moved back to NY today. Had found some guys to get an apartment with. We all chatted with each other and the guys m who were currently living there to see if it would be a good fit. It seemed like it would...and everything was going swimmingly today until I asked the roommate for the wifi password..."Its FightOn!"

How do I handle this?

Log in and then change the password to Fighting Irish

 

[IrishEyes1900]

Probably a philosophical debate to have, I suppose. Personally, I feel at the younger ages (like my kids now) they care less about the "stuff" and more about time with mom and dad. I will say I've gotten good at delegating chores to subcontractors. Disposable income has allowed me to not worry about house cleaning and lawn care and I did that on purpose because it just takes up more of my time. Hobbies, camps, vacations, etc...those things will obviously be effected in the short term during a pay cut. Losing out on those does bother me, just not as much as hearing my 2 year old beg me to stay home and play with him. (For the record, I'm home by 5 every night. It's not like I work 80 hour weeks now...but I genuinely would love more time with them than the three hours each evening.)



Thanks. I enjoy this site. Came for the ND Football talk and stayed for the deep discussions and comradery (would be nice to get a lot of the OG posters back, but I digress).

Option 3 is currently in motion. September or October is my time line for possibly going part time. A lot of that is dependent on just how busy I get with real estate.

Appreciate the chat.

Good Luck in your Endeavours. Yeah, I think Option 3 is the best. Especially with the Effects of Covid in our current economy. So it's really the best to take it slowly. I'm really happy for you too, that you are going to enjoy more time with your family and kids.

 

[GATTACA!]

Moved back to NY today. Had found some guys to get an apartment with. We all chatted with each other and the guys m who were currently living there to see if it would be a good fit. It seemed like it would...and everything was going swimmingly today until I asked the roommate for the wifi password..."Its FightOn!"

How do I handle this?

Take a shit in the refrigerator and move out.

 

[Irish#1]

Moved back to NY today. Had found some guys to get an apartment with. We all chatted with each other and the guys m who were currently living there to see if it would be a good fit. It seemed like it would...and everything was going swimmingly today until I asked the roommate for the wifi password..."Its FightOn!"

How do I handle this?

Change the SSID to Fighting Irish.

 

[Cackalacky2.0]

Im thinking monthly shits on his pillow with your rent check on top is warranted

 

[BleedBlueGold]

Good Luck in your Endeavours. Yeah, I think Option 3 is the best. Especially with the Effects of Covid in our current economy. So it's really the best to take it slowly. I'm really happy for you too, that you are going to enjoy more time with your family and kids.

Thanks!!

Update: I had my first meeting with my mentor yesterday. I have a follow up meeting next week. Two things: 1) I had to use my own PTO from clinic to get these days off. Which seems work just fine. As opposed to just jumping in part time every week...I can just take days off as needed for the time being. 2) My mentor wants me up and running asap...for my sake. He knows I want this transition to take place and he's motivated, as my teacher (he doesn't receive payment for this), to see me succeed. He, as a real estate professional for most of his adult life, agreed with Option 3. Take it slow. See what happens. If I get busy, then I'll know it's time to cut back hours and do so w/o jeopardizing a huge chunk of the yearly income I'm used to having.

 

[Some Irish Bloke]

Thanks!!

Update: I had my first meeting with my mentor yesterday. I have a follow up meeting next week. Two things: 1) I had to use my own PTO from clinic to get these days off. Which seems work just fine. As opposed to just jumping in part time every week...I can just take days off as needed for the time being. 2) My mentor wants me up and running asap...for my sake. He knows I want this transition to take place and he's motivated, as my teacher (he doesn't receive payment for this), to see me succeed. He, as a real estate professional for most of his adult life, agreed with Option 3. Take it slow. See what happens. If I get busy, then I'll know it's time to cut back hours and do so w/o jeopardizing a huge chunk of the yearly income I'm used to having.

Glad to hear it, man. Best of luck! Really hope it works out for you and the family. Sounds to me like you're doing the right thing.

 

[Some Irish Bloke]

Moved back to NY today. Had found some guys to get an apartment with. We all chatted with each other and the guys m who were currently living there to see if it would be a good fit. It seemed like it would...and everything was going swimmingly today until I asked the roommate for the wifi password..."Its FightOn!"

How do I handle this?

At the very least, you need to get a white board hung in the kitchen and keep a daily tally of how many days we've remained victorious over the trojans.

The count as of this morning is 1,726 days.