That's not entirely true.
In 2004, there were some personal considerations, in addition to what is known, as to why Urban chose Florida.
Urban would have considered the job in 2009. In 2021 he absolutely would have taken the job. Even today, he would take the job if the opportunity every presented itself.
Urban used to have concerns about recruiting at Notre Dame, but those concerns went away when he saw what Weis was able to accomplish.
Yes, Shelley hates South Bend/Mishawaka/Granger. Her opinion was very important to Urban at the time; it isn't any longer.
In terms of Stoops, yes. Initially, the only real holdup was academic exceptions, and some moderate tweaks of overall entrance requirements. As negotiations went on, Stoops also began to have cold feet.