1. Seven HUGE outdoor video screens: Why are people actually coming into the stadium again? You can buy a parking pass, drive out to a game, watch Red Zone for eight hours sitting in your car on a 70-foot screen and then head home.
2. There's a farmer's market: These local flavors are going to crush your palette, brah.
3. In-stadium parking: I'm sorry, WHAT? You can park in the stadium? VIP's only, of course. But don't worry, peasant in the blue sweater, you can stare through the glass as Mr. Fitzmurray charges his electric car.
4. 60,000 square feet of solar panels: Or, almost one square foot for every seat in the stadium (65,000). That's pretty amazing and renewable in all but what are these fools going to do when it starts to rain and snow or the weather is bad ... Oh. Right. Nevermind. Jerks.
5. The NFL Network will live here: The NFL Network is currently based out of Culver City, Calif., which is not Los Angeles. (Well I was born in a small town. And I live in a small town. Probably die in a small town.) It will stay there with this stadium, but it'll get a full reboot with a separate 8-acre campus for NFL media to operate. That's nearly as much land as my pappy owns.
6. On-field seating: Or the closest thing you've ever seen to it. Kiefer Sutherland brags that it "blurs the lines between fan and teammate," which is probably in the best interest for everyone involved. Can definitely see Bill Belichick being a fan of that.
7. A huge trophy in an even bigger bar: It's entirely possible this whole video is designed just to troll Jerry Jones into building something bigger.
BONUS INSANE THING: That video was narrated by Keifer Sutherland: This isn't even insane, per se. But if you watched enough 24 how are you not laughing at the idea of him screaming "THERE'S NO TIME!!!" when Chargers and Raiders fans try to make a case that their teams shouldn't leave.
