The Big Ten is the trophy girl that isn’t putting out without the ring. It’s all or nothing to her. Full commitment.
The SEC appears to be that bombshell that’s more laid back and may be willing to keep it casual and carefree. She may be different or exotic than you and you’re not sure how the mechanics would work, but the mutual interest is there.
The Big 12 in that ugly feminist girl that nobody gives the time of day and in response, she absolutely despises you for it. You don’t care, though, because she’s irrelevant to you.
The ACC is that crazy, clingy girl that sees things trending south. You say we need some space or time apart and in response she starts acting unhinged, irrational, taking it to social media, and alienating herself from you.