Public shaming and social mores

[magogian]

So my wife and I are sitting down in Ohare waiting on a flight. A guy sits down next to us and proceeds to eat and drink his coffee. He then spills half the coffee all over my wife's bag. He says absolutely nothing. No apologetic gesture or anything. He then proceeds to clean up the coffee near him, which wasn't much, but no makes no effort to clean up on our side. I can't believe this ****er.

We have to then clean up her bag while the whole time he just sits there eating his food and sipping the rest of his coffee. I'm livid in a somewhat amused manner. Seriously wtf.

Being the confrontational person I am, I want to at least say something. But my wife insists that I don't. So I behave

But, frankly, I think I should have said something. It doesn't justify me going ballistic, but such poor behavior merits an appropriate call out.

This is a kinda dumb example. But I think it is interesting to discuss.

FWIW, the guy looks Indian so there could be a language barrier. But is it being ethnocentric to assume that at least an attempted apology or help is called for?

 

[GoIrish41]

should have gone and bought a cofee and dumped it on his carry-on and said nothing to him.

 

[T Town Tommy]

The ugly American in me would have said *uck you. The decent American in me would have simply said screw you.

 

[Cackalacky]

You never know who you are dealing with. Way to be the bigger man.

 

[BobD]

You should have called him a bad man.

on a serious note...I would of said something not very kind. You have great self control.

 

[NDBoiler]

You should have called him a bad man.

on a serious note...I would of said something not very kind. You have great self control.

Babu is from Pakistan, thank you very much.

 

[ACamp1900]

Mag expects us to believe he has a wife??? I call BS.

anyway, I find reactions like this vary from time and place, modd and such... I cannot say with a straight face I would handle something like that the same way every time.

 

[ThePiombino]

Is there any chance at all that this guy legitimately did not realize that he got your wife's bag? I know it seems unlikely, but his complete lack of acknowledgement of the situation tells me that's the only way he doesn't get a throat punch for his (lack of) efforts.

 

[magogian]

Is there any chance at all that this guy legitimately did not realize that he got your wife's bag? I know it seems unlikely, but his complete lack of acknowledgement of the situation tells me that's the only way he doesn't get a throat punch for his (lack of) efforts.

Nope. He was staring straight at it. Them of course he saw us trying to clean the bag right next to him for five minutes while he is sipping at the rest of his coffee.

 

[AdmiralBackhand]

Forgive him, forget it and move on.

 

[ND NYC]

would have been bad enough if this happened to me if i was alone...but if some dude this to my wifes stuff? and said nothing? and didnt even acknowledge it?...big problem.

you took the high ground i know i couldnt have.

ps i avoid o hare liek the plague--by far the worse airport in the entire country.

 

[irishpat183]

You OWE it to society to say something. I'm not saying you have to be a total ***, like me, but to let that go and not say a word is promoting that behaivor.

Which is why our society sucks now.

 

[irishpat183]

That ******* would be choking on his coffee cup if he spilled anythign on my wife and/or her stuff.

You do not mess with my kids or my wife. I will absolutley go to jail for them.


Hell, My wife may have said something! LOL

 

[GoIrish41]

You OWE it to society to say something. I'm not saying you have to be a total ***, like me, but to let that go and not say a word is promoting that behaivor.

Which is why our society sucks now.

magogian is the reason our socient sucks?

 

[irishpat183]

Forgive him, forget it and move on.

^Exibit A.... as the problem with society.


You can forgive and forget...but say SOMETHING.

 

[Emcee77]

I'm livid in a somewhat amused manner. Seriously wtf.

I feel like this would have been my reaction exactly. He spilled coffee all over your wife's bag and watched you clean it up without acknowledging you in the least? I would have been angry, but that's so absurd that I don't think I could help but be a little amused. What a colossal prick.

Now I'm wondering if he felt like if he acknowledged that he'd spilled the coffee, he'd have to be prepared to offer to pay to replace the bag, or at least clean it? Maybe he figured he couldn't afford that and he'd have to ignore, ignore, ignore; then, if challenged, just deny, deny, deny? I'm reaching here. I just cannot explain such bizarre behavior.

 

[irishpat183]

magogian is the reason our socient sucks?

Yes. LOL....


I'm just saying that you can't let people behave like idiots and get away with it. This guy obviously has a lack of respect for other people.

 

[irishpat183]

I feel like this would have been my reaction exactly. He spilled coffee all over your wife's bag and watched you clean it up without acknowledging you in the least? I would have been angry, but that's so absurd that I don't think I could help but be a little amused. What a colossal prick.

Now I'm wondering if he felt like if he acknowledged that he'd spilled the coffee, he'd have to be prepared to offer to pay to replace the bag, or at least clean it? Maybe he figured he couldn't afford that and he'd have to ignore, ignore, ignore; then, if challenged, just deny, deny, deny? I'm reaching here. I just cannot explain such bizarre behavior.

It's really not that suprising these days. People have no respect for their fellow man. Nobody cares becuase everyone is so selfish and is never challenged on stuff like this. This guy probably treats his wife and co-workers the same way.

 

[GoIrish41]

Yes. LOL....


I'm just saying that you can't let people behave like idiots and get away with it. This guy obviously has a lack of respect for other people.

I don't disagree. I am not one to let something like this go by without saying something. Rude behavior is always the thing that makes me angrier than anything else.

 

[Cackalacky]

IDK about y'all, but the absolute last thing I am doing is getting in a confrontation in the airport.

 

[Cackalacky]

It's really not that suprising these days. People have no respect for their fellow man. Nobody cares becuase everyone is so selfish and is never challenged on stuff like this. This guy probably treats his wife and co-workers the same way.

Pat, Do you ever get tired of existing in a world of generalized absolutes? I ask this in the most sincere and honest way possible.

 

[IrishinTN]

I would have gone all Brian Kelly on his a**

Actually I am with Cackalacky and AB...I would probably have just given him a look and cleaned it up so long as none of it burned my wife. Especially in an airport.

 

[magogian]

^Exibit A.... as the problem with society.


You can forgive and forget...but say SOMETHING.

I tend to agree. In this particular instance, my wife's happiness was more important to me. But ideally she would have been happy with an appropriate confrontation.

 

[PLACforever]

i certainly would have said something. maybe not an attack, but something.

 

[irishog77]

This is how I get back at every person who wrongs me...whatever the circumstances.


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[NDdomer2]

I usually handle situations like that by passive aggressiveness. Go grab some napkins start cleaning up her purse while making a slight comment to your wife like, "what kinda of inconsiderate person dumps there coffee without an apology." That way he hears you but you are ignoring him just like he ignored his spill. If he says something back then your free to speak your mind.

 

[WaveDomer]

If the guy is physically aggressive towards a member of your family or someone else, then yeah, the reaction is different. But, honestly, people are kind of nuts nowadays. The last thing you want to do is get in some fight in front of your wife at the airport and have the situation get out of control. Now it's the airport, so the guy is not armed, but people are still nuts and way overreact to things when they think they are being "disrespected" or people are "in their bubble." I mean, look at how people act at times on this message board. I think you did good.

 

[AdmiralBackhand]

^Exibit A.... as the problem with society.


You can forgive and forget...but say SOMETHING.

I will pray for you.

 

[irishpat183]

Pat, Do you ever get tired of existing in a world of generalized absolutes? I ask this in the most sincere and honest way possible.

I never get tired of being right. LOL

You know what I meant. I would say, in general, people really don't care anymore. Hell, in NY how many people passed that homeless guys body before someone reported him as dead?

Or people that stand by and watch crimes take place and do nothing?


My point wasn't to start a fist fight with the guy...but I feel that you're doing him a disservice by not saying something.

"Hey buddy, the least you could do after spilling coffee on my wife's belongings would be to say sorry"

Somethign like that. I can't stand people that are just too important to say sorry or accept responsiblity

 

[irishpat183]

I will pray for you.

That wasn't an attack, just saying I don't think that's the best way to handle it.