Immediate family (Parents, sister and inlaws) would be set. My closest friends would be set. My outer circle friends would have a little bit tossed their way in the way of a new house or whatever. Everyone else can eat a bag of dick. Then I would buy IE and ban a bunch of you and return a couple of bannees.
This is a good plan.
I don't think I would toss my friends a house or anything like that, but I would pay them handsomely for mundane jobs. Like, if I set aside 10 million to take some badass trips, I would take them with me to be "security." AKA lets do some cool shit together for a few days, and then leave me and my wife alone for a few days, but have a good time on me.
Or I would buy a house, and pay my friends to help with "projects," AKA let's drink beer and watch football all day while professionals actually do stuff around the house. Maybe hire Koon to do some basic DIY stuff so we can drink beer, watch, and laugh, and then I would hire another actual expert to fix his mistakes. I would record these things with high-tech equipment to then post on IE for Wooly's amusement. Hopefully Wiz would jump in and a classic Wooly-Wiz-Koon dialogue would ensue. I would then purchase IE, gift Pham a handsome retirement package so he can sit back on the site at his own leisure, and then make Wooly, Wiz and Koon each moderators, just to see what happens when the dust settles.
I would then start a new website, since this one would obviously fall into a pit of misery under the iron fist of the WWK Triumvirate, and it would literally go back to the way things are set up now.
I would also buy a bar and give my friends (and maybe some lucky IE members) personalized bar credit cards so that they can always drink for free.