Oct 18 | Florida State

[connor_in]

TP has a really nice TV. I watch through the windows right out side of his place every Saturday.

And that's after football season

 

[KPENN]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/NotreDame">@NotreDame</a> Have a great weekend.</p>— Univ of Florida (@UF) <a href="https://twitter.com/UF/status/523210340415582208">October 17, 2014</a></blockquote>
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[woolybug25]

I highly doubt the gameplan depends significantly on the result of the coin flip. What kind of coach would let their game plan be affected that much by 50/50 chance?

If you read the context, I'm actually agreeing with Kelly, so I don't get what your issue is.

Again... Brian Kelly would disagree with you. It's a schematic advantage, not a statistical advantage, as NDTH91 pointed out above. If you get the ball first, you get the advantage of having the only drive of the game that you can script without any history of matchups in the game. That allows you a lot of options schematically, since if the other team gets the ball first, you have to adapt to the results of their first drive results.

I'm not pulling this out of my ass, btw. Guys like BK, Belichek and several other big time coaches have opined on the matter.

 

[DillonHall]

Again... Brian Kelly would disagree with you. It's a schematic advantage, not a statistical advantage, as NDTH91 pointed out above. If you get the ball first, you get the advantage of having the only drive of the game that you can script without any history of matchups in the game. That allows you a lot of options schematically, since if the other team gets the ball first, you have to adapt to the results of their first drive results.

I'm not pulling this out of my ass, btw. Guys like BK, Belichek and several other big time coaches have opined on the matter.

But Belichek and Kelly disagree. So are you saying one's right and the other's wrong?

 

[MNIrishman]

Anyone know a good place to watch this game in the Columbus, Ohio area?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Official alumni club gamewatches are held at the Woodlands bar near downtown. I don't know if they'll officially have something for this or not, but when I was around last fall usually was fairly decent. Jack Gibbons is the alumni club president. I can shoot you his email if you have questions.

 

[Rhode Irish]

Maybe we can get an inspired effort from our Floridian running backs. They are both due for a breakout and we could sure use something from them to take some pressure off Everett.

 

[Rhode Irish]

Again... Brian Kelly would disagree with you. It's a schematic advantage, not a statistical advantage, as NDTH91 pointed out above. If you get the ball first, you get the advantage of having the only drive of the game that you can script without any history of matchups in the game. That allows you a lot of options schematically, since if the other team gets the ball first, you have to adapt to the results of their first drive results.

I'm not pulling this out of my ass, btw. Guys like BK, Belichek and several other big time coaches have opined on the matter.

True, but Belichick started the trend of deferring because he believes in the advantage you can get if you can double-up possessions on either side of halftime, which you do have some ability to manipulate.

 

[BobD]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Herbstreit talking to local media. Says he thinks Winston coverage is bringing FSU team together. Thinks team is rallying around him.</p>— Ira Schoffel (@IraSchoffel) <a href="https://twitter.com/IraSchoffel/status/523150328540450816">October 17, 2014</a></blockquote>
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We'll have to beat the confidence out of them.

 

[Cackalacky]

50. ECU hung 70 on them

Right. I got my UNC ass kickings mixed up.

 

[woolybug25]

But Belichek and Kelly disagree. So are you saying one's right and the other's wrong?

No. They have different gameplans and style of offense. Not every strategy is the same and they aren't disagreeing because they have different strategies regarding whether they prefer the ball first or not. They agree that getting/deferring the ball gives them a distinct direction in their gameplan. You said that the decision after the coin toss bares no importance to a coaches gameplan, not that one choice is better than the other.

 

[koonja]

I guess I don't care if FSU's mindset is distraction or rally together. The 1st half of the 1st quarter will set the tone. If they have the 'rally' mindset and we punch them in the mouth and get up on them, that rally mindset will turn to fingerpointing and nervousness IMO. If they get a fast start, they'll keep it together and 'rally' as a unit.

I'm in the 3rd quarter of the 93 game and all jacked up.

Fuck FSU. Bunch of PABs and I can't wait for the ND victory!

 

[West Coast Domer]

Maybe we can get an inspired effort from our Floridian running backs. They are both due for a breakout and we could sure use something from them to take some pressure off Everett.

If they get the touches..

 

[BobD]

I wonder how late Winston stays up shoplifting and signing autographs on game nights?

 

[woolybug25]

True, but Belichick started the trend of deferring because he believes in the advantage you can get if you can double-up possessions on either side of halftime, which you do have some ability to manipulate.

Totally agree. I'm referring to their being a significance to his gameplan regarding deferring/accepting. BK and Belichek prefer opposite positions for the reasoning you and I pointed out. My main point is that it is not an insignificant moment of the game that bares no impact on coaching gameplans.

 

[GATTACA!]

Post 901...welcome to the party

 

[BGIF]

On ESPN Countdown Phil Steele just picked ND to beat FSU 33-30.

 

[DillonHall]

No. They have different gameplans and style of offense. Not every strategy is the same and they aren't disagreeing because they have different strategies regarding whether they prefer the ball first or not. They agree that getting/deferring the ball gives them a distinct direction in their gameplan. You said that the decision after the coin toss bares no importance to a coaches gameplan, not that one choice is better than the other.

I get what you're saying, but I think you're greatly exaggerating the impact of the coin toss on each coach's game plan.

 

[IrishInFl]

I heard that regular tailgating isn't open until 3. If you want to come early, it will cost you more money.

 

[Irish#1]

After reading four pages to get caught up, you guys sound like a bunch of Nancy boys. To hell with FSU playing the "us against the world" crap. To hell with "Winston will run all over us", to hell with "their big athletic defense".

We will have 11 guys lining up across them every time they snap the ball. These guys were highly recruited and take a lot of pride in their play. I like out chances in a lower scoring than anticipated game because our defense is going to come up big. We'll put one up early and one up to start the second half. We'll throw in two or three FG's for good measure to win by 1-3 points.

 

[Rhode Irish]

Totally agree. I'm referring to their being a significance to his gameplan regarding deferring/accepting. BK and Belichek prefer opposite positions for the reasoning you and I pointed out. My main point is that it is not an insignificant moment of the game that bares no impact on coaching gameplans.

Yeah I jumped into the convo late and missed some of what it was about, but I agree with what you're saying here.

 

[ickythump1225]

My whole take on the "Oh FSU is going to rally around JW." First off that is ridiculous, it's not like some tragedy fell out of the clear blue sky and beset him, his problems are all self inflicted.

Secondly, they are the undefeated...sorry "unconquered" defending national champions playing the #5 team in the nation at their place on prime time with College Gameday on site...if they need some manufactured controversy to "come together" than they are a sorry excuse for a football team. They have plenty to "rally around" and "come together for" it's called defending their title and trying to get another.

The Criminoles were always going to get up for this game, they don't need some halfassed controversy to get them together. Both teams are going to be jacked. It's going to be a great game.

 

[Cackalacky]

Nancy boys. Lol.


How Much Ya Bench?

Frankie Genovese.....Emilio Estevez
Steroid User #1.....Adam Sandler
Steroid User #2.....Chris Farley
Steroid User #3.....David Spade
Steroid User #4.....Jay Mohr
Caller #1.....
Caller #2.....Mike Myers
Caller #3.....
Charlie Sheen.....



[open on panelists with theme music and title: "How Much Ya Bench?"]

[all panelists have heavily overdeveloped upper bodies]

Announcer: And now it's time for "How Much Ya Bench," with your host, Frankie Genovese.

[title is removed]

Frankie: Hello, and welcome to "How Much Ya Bench," the show dedicated to body building and a steroid-free power lifting experience. I think you know our panelists, especially if you are a Perth Amboy local, in which case you would also know that we enjoy a lifting experience that's completely free of steroid influence.

[other panelists agree while the shot widens to show that the panelists' legs are comically underdeveloped]

Frankie: Before we go to the phones, let's start off with a regular segment on "How Much Ya Bench?" called Movie Talk. This is where we have a steroid-free discussion of the movies. Tonight's topic: Hollywood's hot new actors and how much we want to kick their heads in. First up: Brad Pitt. He's becoming a big star. Do we like it?

Steroid User #1: My girl thinks he's really cute. And she says he was really good in "Thelma and Louise." So to be quite honest, I'd like to give him a savage beating. The kind of beating where the cops would say, "What kind of animal would do this to another human being?"

[other panelists agree with shouts and grunts]

Steroid User #2: Yeah! Brad Pitt needs a beatin'! He needs a beatin' Fast! I swear to God, I am not in the mood for him, ever!

Frankie: To sum up, I guess Brad Pitt gets a beatin'. Next up: Richard Grieco. The heat has faded, but he seems to still have that certain look on his face that needs to be wiped off. Agree?

Steroid User #1: Oh, my God, yes. I want to boot him so hard in the adam's apple it comes shooting out his mouth. Holy lord, when I used to watch him on "21 Jump Street," he would make me so angry it was like I was on steroids or something. That's how angry he made me.

Steroid User #2: Hey, Grieco, what's behind you? It's your worst nightmare, mister. Mr. Big-Time Beatin'! [punctuates the following with hand/arm gestures] Wham! Bam! Slam! Throat punch! Down you go! Oh, but it continues! Bam, bam, bam! Wham! When's it ever gonna stop?! Survey says: Not very soon!

[other panelists agree with shouts and grunts]

Steroid User #3: I can't follow his energy. However, I'd like to stress two things. Brad Pitt needs a beatin', and I'm not on steroids.

Steroid User #1: Very nice.

Steroid User #2: All right, yeah.

Steroid User #3: Mr. Pitt, if I ever see you, I'll give you so many rights, you'll be begging for lefts!

[other panelists agree with shouts and grunts]

Frankie: A beatin' all around. All right, finally: Charlie Sheen. Thoughts.

Steroid User #1: He's cool.

Steroid User #2: I like his work.

Steroid User #3: Laughed my ass off at "Hot Shots Part Deux."

Steroid User #4: Yeah, you know what? I'm on the fence. I could go either way with him.

Frankie: Shut up, gentlemen! The man needs a beatin'! He needs a good old-fashioned James Caan, "Godfather," garbage can involved monster beatin'!

[other panelists agree with shouts and grunts]

Frankie: All right. And let me say that what you've just seen was a display of normal male envy and agression, and in no way was the consequence of steroid abuse. Stay off the juice! The side effects aren't worth it. All right, before we take calls, I think someone here has an announcement to make.

Steroid User #1: Indeed I do. Just this last Friday at 2:23pm, I was benching and I put up 350 pounds.

[other panelists cheer him on with shouts and grunts]

Steroid User #2: You! You! Yeah! All right! You did it totally without the aid of steroids! Or steroid byproducts! You must be amped man! 350! Let's see that rip!

[Steroid User #1 flexes and turns, showing that his back is extremely hairy]

Steroid User #1: And I'm not even oiled up, gentlemen!

Frankie: Well, it's my guess we lost a few callers with that one. I'd like to thank those of you that hung in there. So let's get to your calls. Caller, you're on. How much ya bench?

Caller #1: 255. Steroid-free, just like you guys.

[panelists make girly ding-a-ling]

Steroid User #3: Tinkerbell! Tinkerbell! 255?! You calling to brag about that?! Anything else you want to brag about? Maybe how you got great seats for "Phantom of the Opera?"

Steroid User #2: Yeah! Or maybe how you got great seats for...some other queer play.

Steroid User #4: Now hang up the phone, all right, because there's a lot of other guys at the gay bar who need to use it, all right, you selfish bastard. God! I'm not on steroids!

Frankie: Okay, next caller. You're on the air. How much ya bench?

Caller #2: Hey, I don't really work out, okay. My question is for Steroid User #2.

Frankie: Hey, hey, hey, there's no one here on steroids, nancy-boy.

Caller #2: Uh, yeah. Steroid User #2. Could you tell me why your legs are so thin?

Steroid User #2: That's because I generally don't like to kick guys like you into a coma! I like to hear your bones snap under my fists!

Caller #2: Let me ask one more question. How do you guys ever get girls? I mean, do you have to hypnotize them or something?

Steroid User #4: Oh, no, no, no. You do.

[other panelists agree with shouts and grunts]

Steroid User #1: Hang up the phone, nancy-boy! Save your money for when you call 1-900-MAKE-OUT-WITH-A-GUY.

Frankie: All right, next caller. You're on. How much ya bench?

Charlie Sheen: Hey, steroid-boy. This is Charlie Sheen. You want a piece of me?

Frankie: Yeah! Where you at, pretty boy?

Charlie Sheen: You know where I live, Emilio. I'll be right here.

Frankie: Hey, Charlie. Come on, it's just a sketch.

Charlie Sheen: Oh, yeah? Well it's just a beatin'! Get ready for it! [hangs up]

Frankie: Oh, ah, um, next caller. How much ya bench?

Caller #3: Uh, not a tremendous amount. Hey, I lost a dog, and I was wondering if I could describe him in case a viewer has seen his.

Frankie: You got it, alpha woman. What's this poodle look like?

Caller #3: No, it's not a poodle. I don't know what kind it is, but I know it's definitely on steroids. It's real buff, with little stick-legs. And it's got this weird forehead, real hairy back and shoulders with tons of zits. It goes through crazy mood swings, and it answers to "loser."

Steroid User #4: Oh, my God, Frankie! There ain't no dog! This guy's referring to us! Oh, I can't stand it! Oh, my God! I want a piece of this guy! Oh, God, please, God, I gotta give this guy a beatin'! [sobs]

Steroid User #2: You will pay, nancy-boy! Oh, it's coming! You hear me?! [with arms and legs flailing] Oh, God, you are gonna pay! One sorry nancy-boy!

Frankie: We're gonna find out where you live, and you're dead! Everybody else, tune in next week to "How Much Ya Bench?"

[dissolve to advertizement screen]

Announcer: "How Much Ya Bench?" has been brought to you by Jim Tischer's Anabolic Steroids. For when you want big mass and got no time. Turn to the juice. Jim Tischer's juice.

[dissolve to panelists with theme song and title: "How Much Ya Bench?"]

[fade to black]


Thanks to DavidK93 for this transcript!



SNL Transcripts

 

[Irish Insanity]

My whole take on the "Oh FSU is going to rally around JW." First off that is ridiculous, it's not like some tragedy fell out of the clear blue sky and beset him, his problems are all self inflicted.

Exactly. It's not like his fake GF died in the middle of the season.

 

[BGIF]

No Surprise

No Surprise

Mark May FSU

Lou Holtz ND

 

[Rhode Irish]

Someone should ask Mark May what would need to happen to pick ND, and ask Lou what it would take for him to pick against ND. There is literally no thinking involved in these "predictions" and they are a waste of time.

 

[woolybug25]

Someone should ask Mark May what would need to happen to pick ND, and ask Lou what it would take for him to pick against ND. There is literally no thinking involved in these "predictions" and they are a waste of time.

The shtick is getting old, amirite? I think it's about time they start actually analyzing our games like professionals. I love Lou to death, but he is just as much to blame.

 

[KPENN]

The shtick is getting old, amirite? I think it's about time they start actually analyzing our games like professionals. I love Lou to death, but he is just as much to blame.

Agreed. I don't even watch its just painful to watch.

 

[NCND]

The shtick is getting old, amirite? I think it's about time they start actually analyzing our games like professionals. I love Lou to death, but he is just as much to blame.

I agree. ND could be 0-11 and Lou would pick ND. ND could be 11-0 vs Temple and that douche would find some way to pick Temple. Shit is gotten old.

 

[CanadianIrishFan306]

Thank god I don't get it up in Canada

 

[tommyIRISH23]

Lol an FSU rally? Yea there's nothing like a reoccurring rape case to rally a team together. Also, with this autograph hustle; don't you think that, if true, the other 82 or so guys who aren't paid stars and are eating cat food to get by would be a little pissed off? To be honest- Winston seems like more of a cancer than a leader.