Haiku Battle

[irish1958]

First poor try

First poor try

Limericks are fun
While Haiku and the dentist
Are a pain below

 

[scUM Hater]

My girl loves cow beef.
Iowa beef disgusts her
Too soft and wimpy.

I fixed my Faux Pas
Too busy with your lady
To count to seven

 

[In Lou I Trust]

My girl loves cow beef.
Iowa beef disgusts her
Too soft and wimpy.

Don't lie to yourself
She envisions my thick steak
Wishing you compared

 

[tadman95]

Kate Upton is mine
She's spits, she shines, she's all mine
Kate Upton be fine

 

[GoIrish41]

Tired of just stalking
It is a Haiku smackdown
And I am all in

 

[In Lou I Trust]

I fixed my Faux Pas
Too busy with your lady
Too count to seven

It is to not too
Spelling eludes you as well
You'll get there someday

 

[irish1958]

In an haiku the third line should not resolve the ideas of the first two but should be an abstract statement which leaves the reader to ponder deeper meanings. A good example is Emperor Hiroheto's haiku concerning the war.
On the other hand in a limerick, the fifth line should resolve the dilemma with an unexpected solution.
There can't be a clearer example of the cultural differences between the two countries, or, perhaps, the East and the West.

 

[Fbolt]

Alamo City
Been there, done that - to much fun
Fbolt making kids

 

[In Lou I Trust]

Tired of just stalking
It is a Haiku smackdown
And I am all in

GoIrish go home
You can't handle my haikus
Just keep the bench warm

 

[Fbolt]

In an haiku the third line should not resolve the ideas of the first two but should be an abstract statement which leaves the reader to ponder deeper meanings. A good example is Emperor Hiroheto's haiku concerning the war.
On the other hand in a limerick, the fifth line should resolve the dilemma with an unexpected solution.
There can't be a clearer example of the cultural differences between the two countries, or, perhaps, the East and the West.

syllables here are way off

 

[dshans]

Vertical verse form
Ice melts while buds fight to bloom
Horizontal thoughts

 

[GoIrish41]

GoIrish go home
You can't handle my haikus
Just keep the bench warm

Hey not so fast Lou
Bend over and accept that
You my Haiku bitch

 

[dshans]

Alamo City
Been there, done that - to much fun
Fbolt making kids

Too, dammit!

 

[GoIrish41]

Too, dammit!

It is "too" dammit!
You know how to speak English?
There, FIFY

 

[Fbolt]

dshans ur a puss
if i was writing papers
then correct me man

I am free flowing
this be an informal chat
red pen stays in pants

 

[dshans]

It is "too" dammit!
You know how to speak English?
There, FIFY

I thank you. My attempts at grammatical brevity/shorthand, based on many, many, MANY earlier posts can stand scrutiny and critique. Humor plays no role (roll?) as evidenced by the reactions of my many detractors (haters?).

Is this Saturday? No wonder I'm so puckish. Wine, beer and wisdom can be a deadly combination ...

 

[dshans]

dshans ur a puss
if i was writing papers
then correct me man

I am free flowing
this be an informal chat
red pen stays in pants

I am not a puss
Rust and red pens never sleep
Haiku is rigid

 

[irish1958]

Excellent point

 

[dshans]

Seasons still resolve
Bambi communes with Thumper
Crows panic at dawn

 

[BeauBenken]

Excellent point

What are you doing?
Every post should be haiku.
No, "Excellent point".

 

[TCramer]

When will the off-season end?
To end Beaus dumb threads.
Take that Beau.

 

[BeauBenken]

When will the off-season end?
To end Beaus dumb threads.
Take that Beau.

My name is only one.
It is pronounced just like bow.
It's French for handsome.

Don't hate the haiku.
So cram that down your Cramer.
I don't take no ****.

 

[dshans]

What are you doing?
Every post should be haiku.
No, "Excellent point".

Obviously you
Missed implied and tacit words
Form is function lite

 

[dshans]

When will the off-season end?
To end Beaus dumb threads.
Take that Beau.

Major Haiku fail
Not to rain on your parade
Point is well taken

 

[Fbolt]

I cannot believe
Yet here I am one more time
Posting in this thread

 

[irish1958]

What are you doing?
Every post should be haiku.
No, "Excellent point".

In my ignorance
I wrote loudly without thought
The Jesuits are sad

 

[scUM Hater]

My Haiku is strong.
My Swag is outta control.
Take your game back home.

 

[dshans]

Words will always fall
Rain on a summer parade
The sun will soon shine

A few snippets from John J. Dunphy:

"Cramming a sentence into a 5-7-5 straitjacket does not a haiku make."

"English-language poets traditionally use the 5-7-5 formula as they write haiku, believing Japanese haiku is written in such a manner. Unfortunately, an important fact got lost in translation. Japanese haiku poets indeed employ a 5-7-5 format but these numbers apply to sounds, not syllables. Seventeen English syllables do not equate 17 sounds in the Japanese language. In fact, many translators maintain that about 12 English syllables approximate the duration of 17 sounds in the Japanese language. Seventeen syllables usually make a haiku too verbose."

"By a definition accepted by the American Haiku Association, a haiku is a short poem that uses imagistic language to convey the essence of an experience with nature or a particular season of nature."

I do not read or speak Japanese so have no real frame of reference to compare syllables to sounds. I am no Haiku expert. I also don't want to spoil the party.

The music kicks arse
Laissez les bons temps rouler
Till the cows come home

 

[Fbolt]

Hate and Anger filled
Sunny days and happy thoughts
One thousand plus posts

 

[BeauBenken]

Where is my Xbox?
Oh, my mom gave it away.
Who has fifty bucks?