Opponent: Oklahoma
Strengths: Backdoor payment and cocaine fueled reign in 80's helped propel program into elite status, loyal fanbase wears crimson moo moos to games, players follow strong program code of honor ("yes your honor, no your honor"), Mike Stoops now on staff so there will be two midgets kicking and screaming on OU sidelines (very fun to watch), Landry Jones back for 7th year
Weaknesses: Not even best team in state anymore, still the Longhorns redheaded step-child, Norman makes South Bend look like a sprawling mecca of civilization, Bud Wilkinson's epic win streak inflated due to avoiding ND (who owned him), "Big Game Bob" has aptly changed his nickname to "Bob Poops the Bed in Big Game Stoops" last half decade, brittle running backs can't stay on the field (see Dupree, Marcus & Peterson, Adrian), Sooner legend Brian Bosworth exposed as fraud in NFL after no longer being able to use steroids, "nothing but steers and qu**rs" in Texas saying can be applied to Oklahoma, except the steers part
How these strengths and weaknesses match up for ND: Not good. I see Nix going on an all-night bender in an all you can eat barbecue pit and looking slow as molasses come gameday
What ND has to do to win:Hope OU has one of their bi-annual "we are going to play like crap and inexplicably lose a game we probably shouldn't" outings that have become so common
Prediction: OU 39 ND 20
*Movie Equivalent of Game: Scene in Varsity Blues when the team stays out all night in a strip club and then is too hungover to perform. Riding high from winning 7 in a row, we finally get an overdue pupu platter marred with turnovers and penalties. (ND=hungover team, Us fans=pupu platter)