Engagement Ring and Diamond Purchasing Advice

[woolybug25]

Who gives a shit about the five Cs?

Spend more than you can afford and get one bigger than she's expecting.

THAT is all.

Women do.

 

[BobD]

It's not about the size or the five c's. It's about her and what she loves. If it was all about size and quality, most of us would be single.

 

[NCDomer]

Buy used. Plenty of significantly discounted rings that no one ever wore. This approach also packs a great test. If your anticipated SO can't handle you buying her a better rock at a discounted price, she's probably too high maintenance to be worth it.

 

[Cackalacky]

It's not about the size or the five c's. It's about her and what she loves. If it was all about size and quality, most of us would be single.

^this guy gets it.
If she is a nurse the setting and cut can be a problem. Just make sure you know what she wants. Congrats.

 

[NCDomer]

Who gives a shit about the five Cs?

Spend more than you can afford and get one bigger than she's expecting.

THAT is all.

Some women don't want the bigger ring... and risk of getting mugged. A 1ct rock is the sweet spot.

 

[A Pac]

See if you can get a diamond cut in the shape of your face. No woman could say no to that.

 

[BobD]

^this guy gets it.
If she is a nurse the setting and cut can be a problem. Just make sure you know what she wants. Congrats.

If she's a proctologist, get her a necklace.

 

[IrishSteelhead]

One more thing I'll add:

You will get better deals on stones just below benchmark levels.

Ex. A .87 carat stone is considerably cheaper than a 1.02 one, because it isn't one carat, and that is the "magic number" in a lot of people's minds. Side by side it isn't much smaller, but the price disparity is way bigger than say, a 1.05 and a 1.2, because both of those meet the mark.

*This is assuming all stones are of equal quality.

 

[CraigKrenzel]

Regarding the five Cs, I was always under the impression that cut was the place you did not want to skimp on...

 

[Emcee77]

I appreciate all the advice, fellas!

She wears a 4.5 ring size and she's a nurse, so 1 carat might be too much. But we'll see. And she's told me that the cut and clarity are more important to her than having a huge diamond.

Yeah, my wife had similar tastes for a similar reason. She is a doc and she didn't want to have to take her ring off in the hospital so she actually wanted a smaller diamond. It's been a few years so I don't remember the details but I got her one that was well under a carat, might have been like 3/4 carat, but really pretty in terms of the other Cs, very very sparkly, and I found a really beautiful designed setting. So the end product is sleek and slim just like she wanted, the setting's design makes it stand out as unique, and the diamond is really sparkly. She seriously loves it. It's probably not what I would have picked for her if she hadn't told me what she wanted but as BobD said this decision is all about her and what she loves.

 

[Redbar]

Norm! Congrats to both you and Vera.

 

[Irishnuke]

First you have to ask her out. Does she dress like a storm trooper?

 

[Cackalacky]

If she's a proctologist, get her a necklace.

LOL.
"Moon River...."

 

[Bogtrotter07]

I appreciate all the advice, fellas!

She wears a 4.5 ring size and she's a nurse, so 1 carat might be too much. But we'll see. And she's told me that the cut and clarity are more important to her than having a huge diamond.

I've found a couple of settings that I like, but the couple of diamonds the jeweler showed me were sub par in my opinion.

3/4 carat, Ideal cut, I color, SI1 for $3,500. They pulled that one out to give me an idea of what a 3/4 carat would look like in the setting and I checked the grading. I'm not happy about that and that has prompted me to look into bringing my own. But she's pretty snooty and full of herself so I have the sense she won't work with me if I do that.

Compounding the problems is that I'm trying to find the ring at home in MO to support a local business. But I'm finishing my last semester of law school and I'm not in the mood to get screwed (again).

Congrats, Rack!

Let here do all the talking if she is involved in it. What kind of nurse is she? If she is not going to be able to wear it all the time, (surgery, etc.) get her a simple band also.

If she is going to be involved in it pay attention. You will learn some things about your marriage, and how it will play.

If it is a surprise, PM me. I have an acquaintance who flies in from South Africa every month, just a little bit of laxative and oh never mind.

My best to you guys for the important things!

 

[peoriairish]

One more thing I'll add:

You will get better deals on stones just below benchmark levels.

Ex. A .87 carat stone is considerably cheaper than a 1.02 one, because it isn't one carat, and that is the "magic number" in a lot of people's minds. Side by side it isn't much smaller, but the price disparity is way bigger than say, a 1.05 and a 1.2, because both of those meet the mark.

*This is assuming all stones are of equal quality.

Agree with all this. The stone I bought was, I think, .93 carats? Something like that. But when it was on a piece of white paper, it was damn near glass. It was still cheaper than lower quality >1.00 carat stones.

 

[peoriairish]

Also, with some of the newer styles, it is smart to get a band and engagement ring combo. The halos and sorts like that look odd with a separate, straight band and not one that was made for it. Just something to think about.

Good luck!

 

[irishog77]

Like we don't all know anyway that Acamp is your fiance, Rack Em.

 

[ACamp1900]

Like we don't all know anyway that Acamp is your fiance, Rack Em.

I can assure you that am am NOT a figment of Rack Em's imagination...

 

[PANDFAN]

I think you have to find the happy median your fiancé wants. The reality is that if she wants a 1.5 carat ring, then you better have the $10k+ it costs to have it be a "perfect" diamond. Otherwise, you will have to sacrifice on of the "5 C's".

I have to disagree slightly with steelhead in regards to choosing size over everything, but in a sense he is right about carats. It doesn't matter how nice the diamond is if it's less than a carat, imo. She'll always have to respond to the question of size with an embarrassing number.

Now, if you are choosing between say... A 1 carat or a 1.5, then take the smaller diamond if it's better quality. Also, if there is one "C" you absolutely do not skimp on... It's clarity. If a diamond is murky or doesn't sparkle, then it will look awful next to a nicer diamond. If a diamond doesn't sparkle, it doesn't matter what size it is, it will look fake.

Good luck, buddy!

this is def a big issue and def matters more than size....one thing i would caution is buying diamond online and then having a jeweler set it is that unless you have a good relationship w/ jeweler maybe know someone who knows one....is that i caution in terms of warranty in case something happens....i got my wife last year a princess cut one as well...the only thing with this cut is that the way it is cut you lose some of the "size" in how it appears vs the others....i went w/ a 3/4 princess w. another 1/4total in small diamonds on the band...by doing this i was able to get great clarity because the full carat diamond didn't look much different in size but w. my price range it made a big difference in stepping up to the full 1carat in price and the clarity would have had to suffer....she was def happier w. the shine and sparkling vs just overall size

 

[palinurus]

It's been a while since I purchased one so I am hesitant to offer specific advice. Here's a website, NOT by diamond salesmen or jewelers, that looks decent, but you may well know all this.

Engagement ring - AskMen

My only other bits of general advice are:

1. Buy the nicest diamond of a reasonable size that you can afford. Generally speaking, if a woman wants an engagement ring, she wants one she can be proud of. The three months salary thing is BS, industry hype; but you want something nice. It's not something to cut corners on. Cut corners elsewhere.

2. If she doesn't know it is coming, think of a creative way to give it to her. It is something that shows that she is special (although, I know, to guys, the fact that you are getting engaged is, in itself, an obvious statement of "specialness"). But women don't see it that way; if you come up with a creative way to spring it, you will create a great memory for her that will be a part of "the story." Doesn't need to be fancy or wild or over the top -- it should fit your personality -- but you won't regret making it special.

 

[Cackalacky]

What not to do:
Proposal Fail (Dubai Mall) Indian guy 2013 - YouTube

 

[NDFANnSouthWest]

Don't over extend yourself with this 2 months salary BS for a ring! Get her a nice ring ....getting into debt right off the bat is not a good thing. IMO

 

[phork]

My wifes ring has a 3/4 stone. VVS1 and color F. I look at all my friends wives rings which are all > than 1 carat and none of them shine like my wives. So the caveat is you can go as big as you want, just don't expect it to have that diamond fiery shine.

 

[Irish#1]

I went through this song and dance two years ago:

The "5 C's" are nice and all, but go for the biggest stone possible that doesn't have any inclusions visible to the naked eye.

My friend bought a "perfect diamond" (D clarity, etc.) for the same price I did. His was .5 carat, mine was 1.5 carat (both princess cut solitaires). When you compare the two without a jewelers loop, it is impossible to tell the difference from a "5 C" standpoint, and my wife is MUCH happier with hers. Your girlfriend wants a large stone that gathers attention, TRUST ME. Women are competitive like that.


*Also, diamonds are about the biggest sunk-cost of all-time, so don't worry too much about it from an investment standpoint. You will lose no matter what.


As far as bands go, I went with white gold. People say get platinum because the gold needs replating, but after 2 years her band is fine.

Good luck, and my condolences.....

Spot on...........If it looks good, who cares how it's graded. The "C's" are as over hyped as 40 times.

 

[Rack Em]

My wifes ring has a 3/4 stone. VVS1 and color F. I look at all my friends wives rings which are all > than 1 carat and none of them shine like my wives. So the caveat is you can go as big as you want, just don't expect it to have that diamond fiery shine.

That is nearly spot on what I'm looking for.

I'm just afraid if I want to actually buy a diamond like that in person, I'll have to pay the mark up. How hard did you negotiate the diamond?

 

[irishog77]

Is it 2 months salary...before or AFTER taxes?

 

[Irish.Ca]

What a waste of money. My wife and I took the money for the ring. Had a month long vacation in Australia and picked an opal just outside of cairns. Then had a ring made when we got home from the vacation. Beautiful and more interesting ring and the 10k went for a real memory. Not a stone worth half the price at the hock shop.

 

[phork]

That is nearly spot on what I'm looking for.

I'm just afraid if I want to actually buy a diamond like that in person, I'll have to pay the mark up. How hard did you negotiate the diamond?

I didn't push too hard. I got them to throw in matching wedding bands for a huge discount. I couldn't imagine buying a diamond sight unseen.

 

[NDinL.A.]

Buy used. Plenty of significantly discounted rings that no one ever wore. This approach also packs a great test. If your anticipated SO can't handle you buying her a better rock at a discounted price, she's probably too high maintenance to be worth it.

Don't over extend yourself with this 2 months salary BS for a ring! Get her a nice ring ....getting into debt right off the bat is not a good thing. IMO

I got mine (the whole set) from a buddy who was a former jeweler. His friend got engaged but the wedding was called off. Got a phenomenal deal. My wife doesn't give a crap about diamond cuts and all that (man, if she did, I was screwed...you guys know way more than I do lol); she just didn't want a gaudy, huge ring. And since I wanted the proposal to be a complete surprise, that's pretty much all I knew about her ring preference.

We were able to put a nicer down payment on a house with the money I saved. We both agreed that was way more important.

Most important thing Rack, is make sure she's the right one for you. Have a buddy whose girlfriend drove him crazy as they tried to find the perfect (and most expensive) ring. They're now divorced, just 4 years later. Congrats bro, and good luck.

 

[palinurus]

Is it 2 months salary...before or AFTER taxes?

It's two months after taxes, three months before taxes.....