Book of Irish, Chapter 125
53 Reesus said, “And when you cheer your team, do not be like the Wolverines, for they love to jingle their car keys, throw beer on opposing fans, and sleep with large women. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in STDs. But when you cheer, go into the House that Rockne built, cheer loudly for those that represent the university, and perform many pushups after each touchdown. Then your coach, who sees the replay on NBC, will reward you. And when your band plays, do not allow them to play their Fight Song after every play like Trojans, for they are talentless and bore me to tears. Do not be like them, as Southern Cal is a dumpster fire and their coach is silly.
“This, then, is how you should cheer:"
54 “‘Our coach who art on the sidelines,
hallowed be your assistant, Diaco,
your practice come,
your plays be done,
in South Bend as they are on the road.
Give us this win, with our daily beer.
And forgive us our penalties,
as we take the yards from those that cause penalties against us.
And lead us not into temptation with USC Song Girls,
but deliver us from evil Nick Saban.’
