Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[nlroma1o]

I haven't posted anything in here yet, but this one was just too perfect, I simply had to add it.

I literally just got a text from my wife saying she accidentally dropped her keys down the garbage shoot when she went to throw out the trash.... And she is currently with the one of the maintenance men going through the rubbish bin fishing for her keys with a hanger....

 

[ACamp1900]

That was packed with epic but the best was...

"He'll save children but not the British children...."

That made my day.

 

[ulukinatme]

Damn, Bogs! Those stories were insane. Reps, man, for the awful ex.

And nlroma1o, I laughed. My wife is always losing her keys because she fails to put them in the same spot each time she comes in. I'm hoping she doesn't decide to put them in the garbage anytime soon.

 

[Irish#1]

We're refinishing some kitchen cabinets for our son. My wife is standing two feet away from the bright yellow gallon can of stripper which happens to be right in front of her face. She says she's looked everywhere and can't find it. I told her to raise her left arm straight out and touch the first thing she sees. Sometimes you can see the forest for the trees.

 

[ulukinatme]

We're refinishing some kitchen cabinets for our son. My wife is standing two feet away from the bright yellow gallon can of stripper which happens to be right in front of her face. She says she's looked everywhere and can't find it. I told her to raise her left arm straight out and touch the first thing she sees. Sometimes you can see the forest for the trees.

You sure she wasn't sniffing the fumes?

 

[Jackalope1977]

Just curious if anybody else has this problem. Regularly my wife responds to simple questions I ask her with either another question or some other nonsense that doesn't answer the question. I can't think of any examples offhand but this happens a lot and it drives me crazy.

 

[ACamp1900]

My wife's biggest issue with me is she is so long winded... Example: She'll ask me for a favor, then go into a five minute long story on why she needs the favor and what brought her to the point where she had to ask... all she has to do is tell me what she needs.

Just. Get. To. The. Point.

 

[Jackalope1977]

My wife's biggest issue with me is she is so long winded... Example: She'll ask me for a favor, then go into a five minute long story on why she needs the favor and what brought her to the point where she had to ask... all she has to do is tell me what she needs.

Just. Get. To. The. Point.

Hahaha.

 

[Te'o4Heisman]

Not my wife, but one of my best friends wives...we lived in Southern NJ at the time and she had an interview for a high profile job almost 2 hours away in NYC. So anyhow she stops at a rest stop on the NJ turnpike to use the bathroom...while she is sitting on the toilet she is rooting through her handbag for something and her car key falls out into the toilet...as if that isn't bad enough, what does she do? She stands up to turn around and see if she can get the key out of the toilet which triggers the automatic flush...needless to say she didn't make her interview that day and my buddy was pretty pissed he had to drive 90 minutes to bring her spare car key then turn around and drive home.

 

[IrishLion]

My fiance is mad about everything that happened on my bachelor party.

I haven't had my bachelor party yet.

 

[nlroma1o]

Damn, Bogs! Those stories were insane. Reps, man, for the awful ex.

And nlroma1o, I laughed. My wife is always losing her keys because she fails to put them in the same spot each time she comes in. I'm hoping she doesn't decide to put them in the garbage anytime soon.

Luckily, the keys were retrieved. And even more impressive, the key fabs didnt break on impact with the rubbish bin, after they fell from the 29th floor.

 

[ulukinatme]

Just curious if anybody else has this problem. Regularly my wife responds to simple questions I ask her with either another question or some other nonsense that doesn't answer the question. I can't think of any examples offhand but this happens a lot and it drives me crazy.

Has your wife ever been on Congress?

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pqm2Z_VQA7w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Or is she related to Christopher Walken?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/B07KQ7WgUJI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[ulukinatme]

My wife's biggest issue with me is she is so long winded... Example: She'll ask me for a favor, then go into a five minute long story on why she needs the favor and what brought her to the point where she had to ask... all she has to do is tell me what she needs.

Just. Get. To. The. Point.

I've found a solution for this one. The next time your wife begins one of these:

"Time out! Say the last thing first. And....go!"

 

[Irish#1]

Not my wife, but one of my best friends wives...we lived in Southern NJ at the time and she had an interview for a high profile job almost 2 hours away in NYC. So anyhow she stops at a rest stop on the NJ turnpike to use the bathroom...while she is sitting on the toilet she is rooting through her handbag for something and her car key falls out into the toilet...as if that isn't bad enough, what does she do? She stands up to turn around and see if she can get the key out of the toilet which triggers the automatic flush...needless to say she didn't make her interview that day and my buddy was pretty pissed he had to drive 90 minutes to bring her spare car key then turn around and drive home.

My wife insists on taking her spare key with her including the cars that aren't being driven at that time. She's afraid if someone were ever to break into the house they would steal the cars. No we can't hide them because she'll forget where she hid them.

 

[ulukinatme]

Reps to everyone that has contributed. Some good stuff in the last 24 hours.

 

[Southside Sully]

My girlfriend literally Tee'd off on me last night for asking another girl on our coed softball team to take home the bat bag tonight, and that i was inconsiderate for not talking it out with her first and it was dissrespectful. Im one foot out the door with this Shi$#

 

[Irish Insanity]

My girlfriend literally Tee'd off on me last night for asking another girl on our coed softball team to take home the bat bag tonight, and that i was inconsiderate for not talking it out with her first and it was dissrespectful. Im one foot out the door with this Shi$#

It's not like you asked her to take your bat and ball bag home.

 

[ulukinatme]

My girlfriend literally Tee'd off on me last night for asking another girl on our coed softball team to take home the bat bag tonight, and that i was inconsiderate for not talking it out with her first and it was dissrespectful. Im one foot out the door with this Shi$#

Oh shit, better nip that one in the bud now or walk away.

This nice thing is she's still your gf right now and you have that option. The rest of us in this thread...well...that's why we have the thread

 

[calvegas04]

My fiance is mad about everything that happened on my bachelor party.

I haven't had my bachelor party yet.

Hahahaha I understand that.... hilarious

 

[Polish Leppy 22]

My fiance is mad about everything that happened on my bachelor party.

I haven't had my bachelor party yet.

This is hilarious. I had a bachelor party last weekend in Texas, and I was the only single guy in our group. The sad part is when we went out at night my buddies spent 50% of the time texting their girlfriends/ fiance and not enjoying the experience.

 

[ACamp1900]

My wife so didn't care about my bachelor party... She still laughs at me years later, I've always been honest about what we did (standard BP stuff without going crazy or crossing lines) she always tells me, 'you don't have to lie about it'

 

[Jackalope1977]

Has your wife ever been on Congress?

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pqm2Z_VQA7w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Or is she related to Christopher Walken?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/B07KQ7WgUJI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Haha, very nice. Tried to rep but can't. What's with the regulations on repping?

 

[ACamp1900]

Can't rep the same poster over and over and can't rep a poster who has you on their ignore list...

 

[Jackalope1977]

Can't rep the same poster over and over and can't rep a poster who has you on their ignore list...

Well I did rep ulukin last but that was the only time in five months. Now I feel guilty cuz I enjoy his posts. Get you later ulukin.

 

[ACamp1900]

Just rep someone and go back and rep ulk

 

[Jackalope1977]

Just curious if anybody else has this problem. Regularly my wife responds to simple questions I ask her with either another question or some other nonsense that doesn't answer the question. I can't think of any examples offhand but this happens a lot and it drives me crazy.

Literally 30 minutes after I posted this yesterday I was on my way out the door to go to work. I asked the wife, do you have any cash? Her answer? "I don't have cash cash." Oh ok, thanks a lot Sarah. My brain stalled out for a couple seconds and then I had to go into the follow up questions.

 

[Jackalope1977]

Just rep someone and go back and rep ulk

Haha, ok. It's fine really. I tried repping you and I cant do that either, haha. Nobody needs my measly rep points anyway.

 

[kmoose]

Literally 30 minutes after I posted this yesterday I was on my way out the door to go to work. I asked the wife, do you have any cash? Her answer? "I don't have cash cash." Oh ok, thanks a lot Sarah. My brain stalled out for a couple seconds and then I had to go into the follow up questions.

This is likely your penance for dragging her to some God-forsaken place like Alpena.

 

[Jackalope1977]

This is likely your penance for dragging her to some God-forsaken place like Alpena.

Haha, good one.

 

[IrishinTN]

This should help some of you...you're welcome.