There's an old joke that so applies to you. A guy takes his rifle into the woods to hunt a bear. He soon spots one in a clearing up ahead and maneuvers his way through the brush to get a closer shot. When he raises his rifle to take aim though, the bear has vanished. Just at that moment he feels a tap on the shoulder and when he turns around, it's the bear, who tells him that as punishment for trying to shoot him, he'll give him a choice: he'll tear him apart with his claws and kill him, or the guy can drop his pants, bend over, and get butt-pounded. The hunter doesn't want to die, so he drops his pants and bends over to take it.
Next day he decides to get revenge, so he goes back into the woods carrying a shotgun loaded with slugs. He soon spots the bear and works his way closer for a shot, but again, when he starts to take aim, no bear. He feels another tap on his shoulder and turns around to find the bear laughing and saying, "You know the drill!" He drops his pants and gets torn up.
Third day, he goes into the woods with a machine gun swearing to get that bear. He spots him and as he prepares to take aim & shoot, there's the familiar tap on the shoulder. When he turns around, the bear gives him a knowing look and says, "You're not really here for the hunting, are you?'