One of my liberal friends keeps trying to tell me, as if I'm sympathetic to the view, how our conservative friends "live in a fantasy world that no longer exists" or "they need to wake up and realize that times have changed" or things along those lines. I don't know how many ways I can explain to him that they aren't failing to grasp "reality"; you might say they just construct reality differently than he does. Nobody stands outside ideology. Nobody.
Are you familiar with Jonathan Haidt's
Five Pillars of Morality?
1) Care/harm: This foundation is related to our long evolution as mammals with attachment systems and an ability to feel (and dislike) the pain of others. It underlies virtues of kindness, gentleness, and nurturance.
2) Fairness/cheating: This foundation is related to the evolutionary process of reciprocal altruism. It generates ideas of justice, rights, and autonomy. [Note: In our original conception, Fairness included concerns about equality, which are more strongly endorsed by political liberals. However, as we reformulated the theory in 2011 based on new data, we emphasize proportionality, which is endorsed by everyone, but is more strongly endorsed by conservatives]
3) Loyalty/betrayal: This foundation is related to our long history as tribal creatures able to form shifting coalitions. It underlies virtues of patriotism and self-sacrifice for the group. It is active anytime people feel that it's "one for all, and all for one."
4) Authority/subversion: This foundation was shaped by our long primate history of hierarchical social interactions. It underlies virtues of leadership and followership, including deference to legitimate authority and respect for traditions.
5) Sanctity/degradation: This foundation was shaped by the psychology of disgust and contamination. It underlies religious notions of striving to live in an elevated, less carnal, more noble way. It underlies the widespread idea that the body is a temple which can be desecrated by immoral activities and contaminants (an idea not unique to religious traditions).
His research indicates that those on the American political left put immense weight on (1) and (2), but very little on (3), (4) and (5). Conservatives, on the other hand, weigh all five more equally (though still placing the most weight on (1)). You can take a quiz
here to see what your moral "palate" is like.
Haidt recently published some new research wherein he asked liberals to try to respond to moral questions like a conservative, and visa versa. Conservatives were able to empathize with the liberal position fairly well, since they still place value on (1) and (2); but liberals were not able to do the same for conservatives, since (3), (4) and (5) typically don't even register for them. Point being, your friend likely has a sincere belief that conservatives are truly evil, cold-hearted bastards because his moral wiring prevents him from even recognizing much of what an average conservative holds dear.
But how can a democratic government function when you have people like this who simply cannot talk to each other? They can't even agree on what "reality" is.
This is the main thesis of (ND prof and legendary philosopher) Alasdair MacIntyre's book
After Virtue:
MacIntyre provides a bleak view of the state of modern moral discourse, regarding it as failing to be rational, and failing to admit to being irrational. He claims that older forms of moral discourse were in better shape, particularly singling out Aristotle's moral philosophy as an exemplar. After Virtue is among the most important texts in the recent revival of virtue ethics.
The West enjoyed a shared coherent moral framework prior to the Reformation which allowed people to speak about moral problems rationally and to find widely-acceptable solutions. The Reformation caused much of the Christian world to reject Aristotelian philosophy, which resulted in a lot of incoherence. So the Enlightenment philosophers set out to discover a purely rational basis for objective morality. Their complete failure in that endeavor is what caused Nietzsche to declare that "God is dead."
Emotivism-- the idea that moral statements are nothing more than emotional expressions-- came to prominence in that vacuum, which remains the dominant philosophy of modernity.
We're still left with the fractured remnants of a once coherent moral framework. So we continue to talk about morality as if appealing to a universal objective standard. But, as you noticed, many of us don't even have compatible concepts of the nature of reality. Which makes the moral issues we squabble about seem incapable of resolution. If I argue with a radical feminist about the morality of abortion, I inevitably end up appealing to metaphysical arguments that she doesn't accept, and she takes my statement that "Abortion is
evil" not to be an assertion about the act, but a mere expression of my emotional state towards it.
So... we're already living in a moral dark age. And things will likely get much worse before they get better.