is this rock bottom?

[nlroma1o]

That's your problem. You need to get out of Granger dude. Seriously, you probably feel like the world is the sad, four walls your sitting in right now.

I don't know your age, your finances or school situation.. but if you are that distraught you need change.

What are your friends and family doing for you?

Better yourself.. and don't ever rely solely on one person for your happiness. Especially when you are young.

Im 23. Im an accountant in manufacturing. Went to college at Xavier in Cincinnati. Ive been to Europe, South America, Carribean Islands, Australia, and most of the united states.... I have seen the world. I guess i just knew what I wanted..... I am more distraught over how someone who was your best friend can just..... change....

 

[Kingbish01]

Get your **** wet

Boom!!! Preferably with her sister, her friends, or even her mom. Always remember the next girl you find will be waaaay better. All of my friends and myself included look at our exes and think....Our new wives/girlfriends are much better!

 

[NDFan4Life]

One last suggesion:

Porn.

Lots and lots of porn.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Im 23. Im an accountant in manufacturing. Went to college at Xavier in Cincinnati. Ive been to Europe, South America, Carribean Islands, Australia, and most of the united states.... I have seen the world. I guess i just knew what I wanted..... I am more distraught over how someone who was your best friend can just..... change....

Be grateful that this happened now instead of after being married for a few years (with a child or two). That would be so much more painful.

You're very young. Most people in our rough age group aren't getting married until close to 30 these days. Count your blessings, surround yourself with loved ones, and work on finding the joy in being single again.

 

[Mr. Larson]

Definitely need to sever all ties with her. From what you said about your only goal was to be with her you might be thinking: Well maybe if I can change this/once she gets this out of her system everything will be fine.

Not the case. You need to move on. Read a book, get hammered with friends, listen to some music that gets you fired up, and crush some strange (when you are ready on the last one).

But whatever you don't contact her. Don't pine for her. Start living for yourself.

 

[tko]

Definitely need to sever all ties with her. From what you said about your only goal was to be with her you might be thinking: Well maybe if I can change this/once she gets this out of her system everything will be fine.

Not the case. You need to move on. Read a book, get hammered with friends, listen to some music that gets you fired up, and crush some strange (when you are ready on the last one).

But whatever you don't contact her. Don't pine for her. Start living for yourself.

Swingers Answering Machine Scene - YouTube

 

[Who'saWildManNow]

Im 23. Im an accountant in manufacturing. Went to college at Xavier in Cincinnati. Ive been to Europe, South America, Carribean Islands, Australia, and most of the united states.... I have seen the world. I guess i just knew what I wanted..... I am more distraught over how someone who was your best friend can just..... change....

I feel ya bro.. You just gotta be around people you trust... and when the shine wears off her trip abroad and she starts calling.. be too busy for a while.

Go to Church and talk to your priest..

 

[Sherm Sticky]

Be grateful that this happened now instead of after being married for a few years (with a child or two). That would be so much more painful.

You're very young. Most people in our rough age group aren't getting married until close to 30 these days. Count your blessings, surround yourself with loved ones, and work on finding the joy in being single again.

That's great advice Whiskey!

 

[Grahambo]

To be completely honest, if she did this now, be happy it was done now. If she changed now and just like that, she probably was gonna go do it to you at a time worse then now.

You said your 23, you have got plenty of life ahead of you. Don't let one chick ruin a good thing that you have going, at that's enjoying life.

The best thing to do, speaking one dude to another, is to suck it up, take a hit like a man, and become better because of it. She's just gonna do the samething to some schmuck at a time worse then yours.

It's tough, no doubt as we all have been there before. Keep your A game fresh. Keep going out with your buddies and keep moving forward.

 

[Mr. Larson]

Swingers Answering Machine Scene - YouTube

^hahaha...yeah definitely don't do that.

 

[Mr. Larson]

This might sound hard right now, but try to keep things in perspective. Life is a series of temporary states, euphoria, despair, happiness, depression, success, failure...

Nothing is permanent.

 

[GO IRISH!!!]

nevermind. don't think I can post what I wanted to...

Go to YouTube and look for the Supersuckers song "Pretty F***ed Up". That sums it up really well.

 

[irishff1014]

No matter what happens don't lose faith in your self. You haveto believe in your self in order for anyone else to believe in you. It does suck that this had to happen to you. I am not going to get all religous on you but god has a plan and reason for everything. Keep your head up bud.

 

[nlroma1o]

Thanks for everything guys. You are all awesome. And it means a lot to me that you all took the time to help give me advice.

So now I guess all there is to do is FIND something to do...

I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I drank heavily last night, and prolly will drink heavily these first few nights.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Hitting the bottle can be a good temporary fix (as we've discovered on many painful Saturdays in recent years). Just don't make it a habit. This will take longer to heal than a gut-wrenching ND loss, and alcoholism is the last thing you need to be dealing with.

 

[enrico514]

Hey guys...

I think I might be losing it...

My girlfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me last night. Im sitting here at work and I cant focus on anything. Ive never been more angry in my entire life.

I never thought this would happen to me...

I dont know what to do with myself...

I need some advice.

What you are going through is perfectly normal...

SHORT TERM... Get your buddies to take you out and entertain you for a couple of days/weeks!
MEDIUM TERM... Get to know some new ladies and keep spending time with your buddies
LONG TERM... Everything will be ok

remember... things can only get better !!!

 

[Veer option]

Hitting the bottle can be a good temporary fix (as we've discovered on many painful Saturdays in recent years).

Also don't let it effect your work because the last thing you need is to lose a long time gf and a decent career path in the same week.

 

[nlroma1o]

Hitting the bottle can be a good temporary fix (as we've discovered on many painful Saturdays in recent years). Just don't make it a habit. This will take longer to heal than a gut-wrenching ND loss, and alcoholism is the last thing you need to be dealing with.

I only drink until i cant feel feelings anymore.

 

[Mr. McGibblets]

I dont think drinking would help me, it would only make things worse (Unless maybe it was with friends on a Friday or Saturday night). I'd be sitting there the next day upset AND hungover which leaves you more time to think about everything.

Ghrambo is right though, better now than after you drop $2500-15,000 on a ring & $20,000-75,000 on a wedding (Not sure of your spending ability) and have a kid or 2. Plus, if she changed, it would annoy me so much that I may need to contempate breaking up with her in the first place. You dont want to be with someone who you feel doesnt act the same way towards you.

Just my 2 cents of generic and cliche advice...

 

[Te'o4Heisman]

Get a Boston Terrier dude. No seriously, get a Boston Terrier. You'll forget she ever existed within a week.

 

[nlroma1o]

I dont think drinking would help me, it would only make things worse (Unless maybe it was with friends on a Friday or Saturday night). I'd be sitting there the next day upset AND hungover which leaves you more time to think about everything.

Ghrambo is right though, better now than after you drop $25,000 on a wedding and have a kid or 2. Plus, if she changed, it would annoy me so much that I may need to contempate breaking up with her in the first place. You dont want to be with someone who you feel doesnt act the same way towards you.

Just my 2 cents of generic and cliche advice...

My mother was in love with her, but now she swears this is a blessing and not a curse. I live with 2 of my old buddies from highscool, so i wont be drinking alone.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I only drink until i cant feel feelings anymore.

I did the same thing after the Michigan game.

The danger for you is that you're going to be hurting much longer than one can safely "self-medicate". Gaming has also been an effective way to disconnect for me in the past. You might try that as a somewhat safer path to numbness in the short term.

Disconnection can't work in the medium or long term, though. As many others have recommended, you need to be relying on your family, friends, and prayer to start the healing process. Drink and other temporary remedies won't fix the underlying problem.

 

[nlroma1o]

Get a Boston Terrier dude. No seriously, get a Boston Terrier. You'll forget she ever existed within a week.

hahaha wanna know something funny. We f*cking got a dog together 2 years ago! lol. Shes a gorgeous Siberian Husky. Who I AM f*king keeping. Ill be damned if that b**** tries to come take my baby from me!

I guess i finally get to use her for watch shes best at. Shes the biggest CHIC magnet on this planet.

 

[PigtownIrish]

Figure I'll chip in a few cents from the female perspective....sometimes as crazy as it sounds people really do change, especially after an experience that could "open you up" like being in a different country with basically no real life responsibilities. The status quo back home can seem very uninspiring after that.

Also, as a woman there is constant tension between dreams of a career and things you want to do in the future and balancing that against the expectation of being a mom and having a family (which is something you might really want to do, but it changes everything!) We think we have to do everything and have it all! Throw in the fear that you are only going to look hot for so long (and having kids can mess that up) so you have to do it all while you can...well it can create some erratic behavior!

Not saying this is what she might be thinking or going through, just trying to explain a few things.

 

[Te'o4Heisman]

hahaha wanna know something funny. We f*cking got a dog together 2 years ago! lol. Shes a gorgeous Siberian Husky. Who I AM f*king keeping. Ill be damned if that b**** tries to come take my baby from me!

I guess i finally get to use her for watch shes best at. Shes the biggest CHIC magnet on this planet.

Nicely done.

 

[rikkitikki08]

I feel for you man, same thing happened to me.....i moved on and found someone much better. She came running back when she found out i had moved on. Honest to god i was crushed when she broke up with me but the girl im dating now is the single handed best thing that ever happened to me.

I can promise you this is a blessing in disguise

 

[rikkitikki08]

hahaha wanna know something funny. We f*cking got a dog together 2 years ago! lol. Shes a gorgeous Siberian Husky. Who I AM f*king keeping. Ill be damned if that b**** tries to come take my baby from me!

I guess i finally get to use her for watch shes best at. Shes the biggest CHIC magnet on this planet.

JERRY JERRY JERRY!

 

[nd1989]

Figure I'll chip in a few cents from the female perspective....sometimes as crazy as it sounds people really do change, especially after an experience that could "open you up" like being in a different country with basically no real life responsibilities. The status quo back home can seem very uninspiring after that.

Also, as a woman there is constant tension between dreams of a career and things you want to do in the future and balancing that against the expectation of being a mom and having a family (which is something you might really want to do, but it changes everything!) We think we have to do everything and have it all! Throw in the fear that you are only going to look hot for so long (and having kids can mess that up) so you have to do it all while you can...well it can create some erratic behavior!

Not saying this is what she might be thinking or going through, just trying to explain a few things.

Great perspective Pigtown.

My two cents is don't hold it against her. Both of you are finding out what you want in life, and this is her way of finding out. Just forget about her; move on with your life. She might come back when she figures it out. But either way, be happy she decided now, as opposed to 2-3 kids in your lives.

You'll be fine. Just move on and meet new people.

 

[nlroma1o]

I feel for you man, same thing happened to me.....i moved on and found someone much better. She came running back when she found out i had moved on. Honest to god i was crushed when she broke up with me but the girl im dating now is the single handed best thing that ever happened to me.

I can promise you this is a blessing in disguise

Thats what i thought SHE was. I met this girl in the most rediculous circumstances 2 weeks after i ended a relationship with a girl. And we were together for 4 years dude.. Its just so f'ed up that people treat one another this way.

 

[IrishInFl]

long story short. we were perfect for over 3 1/2 years. never fought. always could work things out. then she went and studied abroad last spring. she got back and she changed. chagned towards me. changed towards her family, changed towards our relationship. she broke up with me bc she didnt know who she is anymore or what she wants to do with her life... shes absolutely insane... she thinks life is going to be a party after she graduates in may... shes going to get a wake up call

Most chicks are, dude (except k1ssme1m1r1sh of course). For example, I had a girlfriend that broke up with me for an illegal Mexican immigrant with a fake name. He turned out to be a drug dealer, and kidnapped her when they caught them in Tennessee. It was in the news down here. Chicks are nuts.