Mike,
You are soooo right on the money. Let me take a step back and say one thing though. I know that I am not on the field nor the locker room, however it shows on the field. Not to go too much into my background but it was my job to train the next guy in, train the future leader, ensure that if and when the messed up, they knew what they did right and wrong. It instiiled confidence in the person and the team, knowing that the next guy in would be able to make it happen.
Like you, I just don't see it. Tons of hands on the helmet, hands in the air, or hanging heads. A leader would make on the spot corrects. A leader would not just let it go. A leader would make the mistake a learning leason and NO a leader is NOT ammune from making mistakes. They would however take the blame and make corrections as needed.
There are several players who can take the roll of the leader on O and D. A follower can play football but a leader can win a football. Lets make it happen, change the attitudes, build confindence, and win games, not some, but all of them. Punish teams and let them know who played and make them never want to step on the field with ND again!