Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

[GATTACA!]

On the way to ND and the wife was complaining about how I never let her drive on road trips. So I let her take over and give me a little break. Not even 3 minutes later we have a $120 speeding ticket.

 

[DomerInHappyValley]

The word huh. Everytime I say something it's gauranteed to be the first word out of her mouth. It's seriously to the point that I'm convinced I could tell her I'm having a heart attack and she'll say huh.

 

[koonja]

"Yes" when they're asked if they'll marry you assholes.

 

[ulukinatme]

On the way to ND and the wife was complaining about how I never let her drive on road trips. So I let her take over and give me a little break. Not even 3 minutes later we have a $120 speeding ticket.

Expensive mistake, but look on the bright side...she'll probably (maybe) never nag you about it again.

My wife has a lead foot too, and often times when it's not even necessary (As if it ever really is). We were heading to a family reunion this last summer. We weren't in any rush, and it was actually storming quite a bit. I drove several hours toward Michigan on little sleep and decided it might be best if I pull over and switch off for the remaining few hours. She gets back on the highway and for some reason she's going like a bat out of hell, riding bumpers in the rain, and I'm sitting in the backseat with the kids cause I thought I'd have more leg room to relax and maybe catch a nap. Nope. Instead I'm white knuckling the seat in front of me and trying to convince her to let me take back over driving...but that's a delicate situation. Can't let her know I think she's crazy, that might just push her over the edge.

We had something similar happen on the way to Florida for Christmas a few years ago. We had roughly an 18 hour trip from OH to FL with two kids, one was 2 and the other was just about 7 months old. We left extremely late at night, like 12am, for two reasons: one, so we could get a lot of the trip done while the kids slept, and reason two...there was a nasty snowstorm coming in the next day that would have delayed the trip at least a day or two. Anyway, I got us out of Ohio and by around 10am or so I hit the wall just outside Atlanta having not slept yet. My wife had slept through a good portion of the trip at this point, so I figure she's rested and I can finally crash for a bit. Fast forward not even 45 minutes later and we're at a rest stop just past Atlanta where my wife is losing her chickens because my 2 year old daughter was throwing some fit about getting her diaper changed in a public restroom. Wife started having an anxiety attack and ready to go into meltdown mode with us being both halfway from our destination and halfway from home. "Hey, honey, I'll go ahead and take over driving again." Drove almost the entire 18 hours down solo, aside from that short 45 minute cat nap.

 

[Irish#1]

Unfortunately , they're building a house in the nice patch of woods across the street, so our view is gone. Anyway, they dug a hole on our side of the street to connect the gas line. The hole is in front and to the right of our mailbox. After connecting the line they filled it in with concrete but did a crappy job with the patch sitting about 2" higher than the rest of the street. They placed two orange cones on it so people wouldn't drive over it while it cured and it's partially blocking the mailman's access to the mailbox. Now about a week and a half later the cones are still there and the mailman is upset. Knowing the concrete is cured, I take the cones and toss them back across the street as I'm leaving for work figuring the mailman will be happy that he can get to the mailbox.

I come home and find the cones back on top of the patch. I mention to my wife that the cones are back and she says she put them back. I asked why and she said we might get in trouble for moving them and she that grew tired of hearing cars hit that raised patch. Evidently it sounds like a gun shot to her. I'm miffed but tell her I'll leave them there even though there is no reason to have them there. About 20 minutes later I take the trash out to the street and find that one of the cones was hit by a car and is now laying in our ditch. We have a big drainage ditch about 5' deep and 10' wide and its got water in it, so I'm not climbing down there to get it and put it back. I decide to throw the other one back over before it ends up in the ditch.

I tell my wife what happened and now she's pissed because I tossed the other one back. At this point I know the only way to shut her up is to put the cone back which I do, but not the one in the ditch. Fast forward to about four hours later around 10:00PM. My wife comes running out of the bedroom and asks me if I heard that noise? She says it sounds like someone hit something and I need to go check it out.

Yep that's right. Now the second cone is in the ditch.

 

[ulukinatme]

You have my sympathies.

 

[Cackalacky]

LOL. Sounds about right.

An adjoining property to my house is a city owned and MAINTAINED lift station for the public water supply. It is a small property relative to mine and the city spent a good bit of money fencing it in, landscaping it with shrubbery and such but the majority of it is still grassed adjacent to my property line.

I mow my lawn approximately every two weeks and the city pays a landscaper to mow the grass at the lift station and they mow it about every month. SOooooo i bet you guys know where this is going.

My wife asks me to mow the grass of the lift station when I mow ours because she says it looks like crap when ours is mown and the lift stations is not. I say I don't care and that the city pays someone to do it and that they will mow it sometime this month. Angrily my wife goes on to say that I don't care about our yard and she does not understand why I don''t care about the adjoining property looking like shit, when in my mind, it does not look like shit, the grass is just a bit longer than ours.

I say its not our property and its the city's. She gets angrier. I say if I cut it they will eventually stop showing up to cut it because I cut ours much more regularly. She gets angrier. Finally after several months of arguing over and over about this I cut the grass around the station for about three months. I notice that the landscaper shows up about twice during this period, gets outof his tuck, takes a look around at the grass that does not need cutting, gets in his truck and leaves. Eventually after about 6 months of me cutting the grass to make my wife happy I do not see the landscaper at all.

One day I am out cutting the grass again and the landscaper pulls up. HE asks me if I have been cutting the grass around the station. I said yes and that my wife was bitching about it. I asked him if he was still supposed to be cutting the grass and that I have not seen him in a few months. He said..." Nah man..., I had one of my guys come by here every now and then to check on it and it did not need to be cut. The city wanted to know if I was cutting it and I said no so they stopped paying me for it, so now I don't cut it." I asked if he still maintained the landscaping... He said "Oh yeah we still do that just not gonna cut the grass anymore."

So I had to tell my wife that I was right about this happening and she looked at me and said "What do you want? A cookie?"

 

[ulukinatme]

I would have said, "No, I want you to mow that grass from now on."

 

[Jackalope1977]

Earlier, as I was making jerky my wife was getting ready to head to the store for the final shopping trip before Christmas. She asked if there was anything that I could think of that we needed. I said go and see what kind of batteries that remote control batman thing takes. She said "I think it takes triple a's." I said just go and see what kind of batteries it takes! She said "it's in the garage." At this point I reminded her that she asked me what we needed and that we do indeed need those batteries and that if she just would've gone and looked the first time then we would be done with this conversation by now. She did. They were double and triple a's. I love the gal but son a b man.

 

[johnnycando]

So I had to tell my wife that I was right about this happening and she looked at me and said "What do you want? A cookie?"

Wow bruh. I'm furious for you.

 

[Cackalacky]

Wow bruh. I'm furious for you.

Hah.... I love her more than anything else in the world but damn I was fired up after that.

 

[zelezo vlk]

Hah.... I love her more than anything else in the world but damn I was fired up after that.

I'm a little confused. Did that guy lose his job? Or just isn't required to mow anymore?

 

[greyhammer90]

I mow my lawn approximately every two weeks and
So I had to tell my wife that I was right about this happening and she looked at me and said "What do you want? A cookie?"

My mower wouldn't touch one blade of that grass again for the rest of my life. Congrats, you just made my blood boil.

 

[woolybug25]

My mower wouldn't touch one blade of that grass again for the rest of my life. Congrats, you just made my blood boil.

My wife would make me start landscaping for them too...

She has no chill.

 

[Cackalacky]

I'm a little confused. Did that guy lose his job? Or just isn't required to mow anymore?

Yes... they still landscape but are not being told to cut the grass any more because it does not need it because I have been doing it because my wife wanted me too. The landscaper told the city that every time they went to cut it, it was already cut. The city said ok, just cut it when needed and not on a schedule which it was on one ( about every month).

Basically I cut my grass more often than the landscaper shows up. Now he shows up less often because the landscaping is performed less often. So now I have to cut the grass to keep my wife happy but also because it wil now be a few months between visits by the landscaper. ...

 

[zelezo vlk]

Yes... they still landscape but are not being told to cut the grass any more because it does not need it because I have been doing it because my wife wanted me too. The landscaper told the city that every time they went to cut it, it was already cut. The city said ok, just cut it when needed and not on a schedule which it was on one ( about every month).

Basically I cut my grass more often than the landscaper shows up. Now he shows up less often because the landscaping is performed less often. So now I have to cut the grass to keep my wife happy but also because it wil now be a few months between visits by the landscaper. ...

Alright. I got the second part, but I thought your wife's orders caused a man to lose his job. I'm glad to hear that I was wrong.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

 

[Irish Insanity]

Alright. I got the second part, but I thought your wife's orders caused a man to lose his job. I'm glad to hear that I was wrong.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

Maybe not his job, but monthly income towards the business.

 

[Quinntastic]

As a woman, the fact this thread even exists makes me a little uncomfortable and instantly think back over the conversations I've had with exes in my past to think if they could have any stories like these against me...

BUT, as a woman who does not act like your stereotypical "woman", some of these stories crack me the f*** up

 

[ThePiombino]

As a woman, the fact this thread even exists makes me a little uncomfortable and instantly think back over the conversations I've had with exes in my past to think if they could have any stories like these against me...

BUT, as a woman who does not act like your stereotypical "woman", some of these stories crack me the f*** up

Nothing funny about the last couple of stories in this thread. Irrational BS has no place in this world.

 

[Blazers46]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

 

[Blazers46]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

To add. My wife messaged at least one of them to ask if we had an affair. She sort of befriended one of the girls through facebook and we attended her wedding a month later. This happened 1 year ago and she calls it the darkest part of our 8 year marriage and still questions what really happened in those 3 weeks. Honestly I think I was just set up to fail. Hotel for 4 weeks with female-male ratio 5:1 with 2 free drinks every night. Not to mention most of these people just graduated from college a week before training.

 

[MNIrishman]

To add. My wife messaged at least one of them to ask if we had an affair. She sort of befriended one of the girls through facebook and we attended her wedding a month later. This happened 1 year ago and she calls it the darkest part of our 8 year marriage and still questions what really happened in those 3 weeks. Honestly I think I was just set up to fail. Hotel for 4 weeks with female-male ratio 5:1 with 2 free drinks every night. Not to mention most of these people just graduated from college a week before training.

Wait, your boss wrote you an email reprimanding you about your respect for boundaries? What boundaries did you break here?

 

[pkt77242]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

Shouldn't this be in this dumb shit that husbands do thread or story most likely to be found in a divorce filing thread. I don't blame your wife at all.

 

[ulukinatme]

I think Cack may be this month's leader after that story.

So, last night I was out with my daughter doing some last minute Christmas shopping, my wife is home with the boys. I get a call from the wife. Apparently we got a Christmas card from one of my good buddies, who just got married last year. I was in the wedding party, and he sent me two photos, both of which are me entering the reception with one of the bridesmaids, but I haven't seen the pictures yet so I don't know. She didn't go to the wedding, she stayed home with the kids.

Her: "Who is this bitch you're dancing with?"
I'm thinking back...no, didn't dance with anyone, spent the whole night at the table drinking with one of my other buddies. Plus, I know she can be insecure and I'm not even going to dance with a bridesmaid for fear of waking up without my testicles someday.
Me: "I don't think I danced with anyone, sweetie. It's probably the reception entrance, I sat at the table all night just drinking with Josh."
Her: "Really? It looks like you're dancing with this bitch." (Despite the fact you can clearly see the bride and groom behind us once I finally see the pictures).
She chats a bit more, cussing under her breath at our boys because they're up to no good, she clearly seems like she's a bit annoyed. I eventually get her to hang up.

Come home, I'm a bit annoyed with the previous call at this point cause it feels like an accusation that was unwarranted. She asks what's wrong, I lovingly put my hands on her shoulders.
Me: "Hey, I know you're a little insecure sometimes, but you know I wouldn't do anything stupid, not even as much as a dance at a wedding. You don't have anything to worry about, so please don't throw out accusations like that."
Tone. Now she's pissed. She claims she was just joking, but I know this woman, she was not happy to see these pictures. I decide to go ahead and apologize because it's Christmas and I don't need this shit, but the night is ruined she says. We were supposed to watch Christmas movies with the kids, but she decides she has some last minute shopping to do and she heads out the door. I put the kids to bed, got drunk, and went to bed myself.

 

[ulukinatme]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

Yeah, I think you meant to post this in the "Stupid things husbands do, but didn't really do because shit was out of their control" thread. One offense, yeah, husband gets the benefit of the doubt. Multiple offenses? I think most wives would raise some eyebrows

 

[ulukinatme]

This one isn't mine, but I'm going to leave it here:


So I'm in a meeting at work and my wife starts blowing up my phone, so I step out of the meeting and talk to her

Wife: I just ran over a cone and now its stuck under the car and I can't get it out. I'm dragging it around and everyone is looking at me.
Me: Go put two wheels up on the curb and you should be able to remove it.
Wife: OK, I'll try that
hangup

I go back in the meeting and start to think about it. She was driving my truck with a 4" lift, so I wonder how in the hell would it be possible to get a cone stuck underneath it?!? I plan to call her after the meeting and figure out what's going on. Then she texts me a picture. She's obviously proud that she has removed the "cone" from underneath the vehicle.

 

[Irish#1]

I was at a training for work with 25 females and 5 males for 4 weeks. To make a very long story very short I got caught up in a few little situations that looked worse then they appeared.

The first week: my wife and I had already said goodnight and then my phone died. When we all got back to the hotel I put my phone on the charger and then went out to have a few drinks with everyone (hotel gave us a voucher for 2 free drinks per night, cant waste those). Slowly people are making their way back to their rooms. The only 2 people left was me and a female trainee. We talked for awhile, nothing crazy just talk about work and past jobs/experiences. As I am walking to my hotel room there are 3 of my training buddies at my door, its very late. Ironically me and this female training buddy's rooms are across the hall from one another so we walked up together. One of them is on the phone and he shouts, "you've been with her this whole time. We have been looking all over for you because your wife has called every hotel room here looking for you." He gives me the phone and my wife was on the phone and heard every word and immediatly thought they caught us in the hotel room together.

2nd week: We all got 40 dollars per day for food since we are out of town. We all decided to have a huge cookout and everyone bring some meat (to eat). Everything is going great until I realize my boss is with her family at the pool. I look around and notice 3 guys with 13 females in our group. I am slightly intoxicated with receiving extra drink vouchers from the nondrinking trainees. I did not have a state email set up so my work just emailed my private email. My wife uses my email for various things like bills and other misc stuff. Apparently she read an email from my boss days later giving me a long speech about boundaries and what she observed that day. Strike 2.

Week 3: I had an interconnecting door with a female trainee. Her and I seemed to be the pack leaders so everyone seemed to migrate to our rooms to just chill and hangout. My wife was coming up from Las Cruces to Albq Friday and then we were all supposed to go up to Denver to see some family. She arrived at the hotel while I was still in training and I get a text saying "Why is your door open to your neighbors door?" What happened was her door was locked and my door was just not shut all the way and unlocked, of course. Strike Three.

4th Week: My wife stayed the whole week....

You're lucky to be alive.

I had something similar happen to me. I had to go to Vegas with an EVP and a few others to look for possible locations for a new call center. We land at about 6:00 Vegas time which was 9:00PM back home. The VP wants to go look at sites immediately so we start checking out sites. After about two hours we finally go check in at the hotel. Seeing that it was 11:00 I didn't call the wife so as not to wake her or the kids. After checking in, the VP wants to eat then go back to his room and go over the building blueprints. We didn't get to bed until about 2:00. I'm sound asleep when the phone rings in my room at 4:00AM Vegas time. The phone startles me as I wasn't expecting a call. It's my wife and after saying hello, the first words out of my wife are, "Why are you out of breath, you have one of those as Vegas whores in your room?" Explaining that the call startled me, she then gives me the routine for not calling her. To this day she's still thinks I was out of breath when I answered the phone. lol

 

[DomerInHappyValley]

This one isn't mine, but I'm going to leave it here:


So I'm in a meeting at work and my wife starts blowing up my phone, so I step out of the meeting and talk to her

Wife: I just ran over a cone and now its stuck under the car and I can't get it out. I'm dragging it around and everyone is looking at me.
Me: Go put two wheels up on the curb and you should be able to remove it.
Wife: OK, I'll try that
hangup

I go back in the meeting and start to think about it. She was driving my truck with a 4" lift, so I wonder how in the hell would it be possible to get a cone stuck underneath it?!? I plan to call her after the meeting and figure out what's going on. Then she texts me a picture. She's obviously proud that she has removed the "cone" from underneath the vehicle.

Even with a 4" lift I'm impressed she got one of those stuck.

 

[Quinntastic]

I think Cack may be this month's leader after that story.

So, last night I was out with my daughter doing some last minute Christmas shopping, my wife is home with the boys. I get a call from the wife. Apparently we got a Christmas card from one of my good buddies, who just got married last year. I was in the wedding party, and he sent me two photos, both of which are me entering the reception with one of the bridesmaids, but I haven't seen the pictures yet so I don't know. She didn't go to the wedding, she stayed home with the kids.

Her: "Who is this bitch you're dancing with?"
I'm thinking back...no, didn't dance with anyone, spent the whole night at the table drinking with one of my other buddies. Plus, I know she can be insecure and I'm not even going to dance with a bridesmaid for fear of waking up without my testicles someday.
Me: "I don't think I danced with anyone, sweetie. It's probably the reception entrance, I sat at the table all night just drinking with Josh."
Her: "Really? It looks like you're dancing with this bitch." (Despite the fact you can clearly see the bride and groom behind us once I finally see the pictures).
She chats a bit more, cussing under her breath at our boys because they're up to no good, she clearly seems like she's a bit annoyed. I eventually get her to hang up.

Come home, I'm a bit annoyed with the previous call at this point cause it feels like an accusation that was unwarranted. She asks what's wrong, I lovingly put my hands on her shoulders.
Me: "Hey, I know you're a little insecure sometimes, but you know I wouldn't do anything stupid, not even as much as a dance at a wedding. You don't have anything to worry about, so please don't throw out accusations like that."
Tone. Now she's pissed. She claims she was just joking, but I know this woman, she was not happy to see these pictures. I decide to go ahead and apologize because it's Christmas and I don't need this shit, but the night is ruined she says. We were supposed to watch Christmas movies with the kids, but she decides she has some last minute shopping to do and she heads out the door. I put the kids to bed, got drunk, and went to bed myself.

I went to my best (guy) friend's wedding with my SO a couple of months back and danced with both him and his brother, whom I've known since infancy. Slow danced. My SO took pictures for us since the professional photographer had already left.

Your wife sounds, honestly, exhausting.

 

[Blazers46]

Wait, your boss wrote you an email reprimanding you about your respect for boundaries? What boundaries did you break here?

I think she knew I was married and saw me with all those females. When I got back to work I was called to my immediate supervisors office and had an offical reprimand by both of them. I asked her what I did that would make her think I would need this talk and her answer was that I was young, attractive and a "social juggernaut". At the end of the day I took it as a compliment.

I later found out my office had a horrible issues in regard to just about everyone sleeping around with just about everyone in the office. Also, I was told there is not a trainning that goes by that there are not similar issues to mine. The problem is female to male ratio at these trainings in combo with free drinks for 4 weeks.