Losing to Iowa State would hardly be an upset let alone a "choke". Saying so is ridiculous and indicative that not enough NCAA BBall has been watched. Several commentators have wondered if ISU was going to get a much higher seed than this. AND, if they get by ISU, it's Aaron Craft and OSU likely waiting --- a REAL tough "out".
The easiest way to go deep into the NCAA is to have two things which Notre Dame almost never has any of: elite penetrators and intimidating shot-blockers. When the NCAA tournament arrives and everyone gets down to the nut-cutting of all-game-long top effort, the offenses don't simply cruise along like magic clocks [unless you're a clock-making genius like Pete Carill] and you need elite playmakers to score or set up scores. ND is almost always very dependent upon 3-point shooting --- risky --- one off night and you're not even in the game.
Also, the NCAA Tourney lets the high-flying manimals out of their cages and they're making life miserable for defenses UNLESS there is a major shotblocker lurking, or a team so clever and tough that they take charges all over the place. ND can try the take-the-charges with our level of athleticism, but the elite skysweeper is almost never on the roster.
Once the rosters are formed, none of these tournament losses are on Brey. The guys play their butts off every time. If anyone wants to criticize Brey, they need to focus on getting the right type of athlete in the first place. THEN, one needs to weigh the difficulty of getting that sort of player vs NDs academic demands and entry standards to decide just how much one wants to excoriate him.
Can Brey outrecruit, say, Duke for those players? That's pretty much what we're asking him to do.