Spinner and I where out late out night driving the back roads of rural Indiana, kicking back some cold frosty beers, and shooting the breeze about Irish football, when I notice that Spinner is really fidgeting in his seat, I mean he's climbing the walls.
Deuce: "Spin man, whats the matter, bro?"
Spinner: " Eighty, I really gotta use the bathroom bad." extreme panic in his voice
Deuce: "Hey no sweat bro I'll pull over and you can take a leak along side the car." Problem solved
Spinner: "No man, you don't get it, I have to take crap BAD!!! We gotta stop Eighty, I've got a turtle head poking out over here."
I stop the car a Spinner sprints into the cornfield we've driving along side. No sooner does he get to the corn than he turns around and runs back to the car.
I think to myself WTF???
Spinner: "Man I don't have anything to wipe with!!!"
Deuce: "Just use your t-shirt and the through it away." Damn I'm good
Spinner: "ARE YOU NUTS!!!" This is the Celine Dion concert shirt I got when I saw her in Vegas!"
Deuce: "Well hell Spinner, I don't know." Spinner is now starting to dance like Michael Flatley in Riverdance
Spinner: "Oh, God! Oh, God!" the dancing continues
Deuce: "Spin Man, have you got a dollar?"
Spinner: "Yea, yea I think so, why?!?!" panic now reaching an all time high
Deuce: "Wipe with it McFly." I love Spinner but sometimes that boy is dumber than a bag of hammers, I think to myself.
Spinner: "You're a genius!!!" "I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl!!!" he giggles, pleased at himself for his new football and potty joke
Off Spinner runs, into the corn to give birth
Spinner is gone a long, long, time. But I know he's ok because I can hear the song he is singing being carried out of the field by the Indiana breeze. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, is that My Heart will go on, from Titanic???
After what seems like an eternity Spinner emerges from the field and jumps back into the car. To my absolute shock and horror Spinner has shit all over his hands, wristwatch, even under his fingernails!!!
Deuce: "Spinner!!! WTF, didn't you us a dollar like I told you?!?!"
Spinner: "Damn Deuce, I'd like to see you wipe your ass with three quarters, two dimes and nickle!"
:allhail: 
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