Associated Press 5/8/11
Supposedly Tressel put in a request for the Seminar on Maui but President Gee put his foot down noting this is "punishment". Gee further advised Tressel to take along a lot of sun block as a tan wouldn't help the image OSU is trying to create for the NCAA.
I never realized all those seminars doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, and others take to stay current in their profession was "punishment". Glad to see Gee taking such a hardline.
God, this is playing out like a bunch of Office Space quotes (brackets added for actual movie lines if it was a bit ambiguous)....
Tressel starts to worry about the NCAA coming down on him and asks Gee and Smith about it...
Gee - "This isn't Riyadh. You know the NCAA's [they] not gonna saw your hands off here, alright? The worst they would ever do is they would put you for a couple of months into a white-collar, minimum-security resort! ****, we should be so lucky! Do you know, they have conjugal visits there?"
Tressel: Really?
Gee: Yes.
Smith: ****. I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months.
--------------
Tressel, looking for a second opinion, asks anyone with common sense what's about to happen...
Anyone with half a brain - "Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's *** the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right. W-Why do you ask, anyway?"
--------------
Tressel approaches player X (I'll use Reggie Germany I believe his name was who had a 0.0 GPA)..
Tressel: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of class lately."
Reggie: "I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Coach [Bob]."
---------------
Tressel reaches out to Herbie for some help...
Tressel: Herbie, you awake?
Herbie: Yeah.
Tressel: You wanna come over?
Herbie: No, thanks, man. I don't want you ****ing up my life, too.
-----------------
The three amigo's discuss the new car allegations...
Tressel: Well, maybe the NCAA won't notice
Smith: You know, the NCAA is sure as hell gonna notice a free SUV [305,326.13], Jim [Michael]!
Now if this ends like the movie, the building burning down and taking OSU for a bunch of cash (edit: sorry, forgot the ending), it would be a happy, happy ending