Ann Arbor Is a Whore... Seriously
This is the story of my trip to Ann Arbor for the 2005 Michigan game. I recount it now as a warning to any Irish fans who are considering a trip to this year’s Michigan game.
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The verbal assault began literally before we had shut the car doors behind us. Most Michigan fans were content to hurl obscenities at us from across the street, or from their balconies, but some went further. Several college-aged males openly approached me, placed their faces within six inches of mine, and screamed various insults. Someone hurled an empty beer can at us, which struck a group of students as hilarious and prompted them to start throwing small rocks at us. As the Michigan fans became more openly hostile, I began to fear for my physical safety. My girlfriend was clutching my arm as hard as she could. A college-aged girl ran up to me, poked me hard in the chest, and said “FUCK YOU!” Literally during the entire walk, from car to stadium, the chant “Fuck the Irish” could be heard in the background every few seconds, without pause. We twice witnessed mobs of Michigan fans surrounding vehicles with Notre Dame flags and rocking them back and forth and throwing various objects at them. The passengers were obviously terrified. Some bitch spit at my girlfriend.
I met up with my boss at her Michigan tailgate, but we didn’t have time to hang around. The game was starting soon, so we walked the rest of the way together. My boss and her husband became visibly embarrassed by the conduct of their fellow Michigan fans, who continued to berate my girlfriend and I. That was just awkward. Another student (I presume) approached me and colorfully explained to me why the Irish were going to lose. I replied “just like last year, right?” I thought that was a clever retort, as we had defeated Michigan the year before. My new acquaintance did not think it was very clever, and promptly challenged me to a fight. I’m not sure what would have happened had my boss, wearing her Michigan shirt, not been there and asked him to leave… but I’m pretty sure he was actually planning on attacking me.
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At one point the disenchanted student section began throwing liquor bottles and other items at the refs, and inadvertently, at their own recruits. Star cornerback Darrin Walls was among those recruits pelted with trash. He committed to the Irish the next week.
Michigan made a late run, but it was too little, too late. The Irish had won at Ann Arbor for the first time in a very long time, and I had witnessed it. My joy was short-lived, as I soon realized that I would have to brave the crowds again.
The journey back to the car was about as much fun as the original trek, albeit a lot quieter. We were met with a much more subdued hostility, but that didn’t make us feel any safer. The insults were less numerous, but increasingly threatening. A Notre Dame fan, who admittedly, was running his mouth, was attacked by a mob of Michigan fans that could only be described as a frenzy. It was horrifying. The pile of humanity seemingly came out of nowhere and had to be broken up by the cops. The Notre Dame fan, who was still running his mouth, had blood all over his face.
The moral of the story: don’t go to Ann Arbor. I know you’re thinking it’s just a normal Big-10 environment with its fair share of bad apples, but it’s worse than that. I’ve been to Purdue. I’ve been to Michigan State. Those were normal Big-10 environments. Michigan is a cess pool, filled with the scum of the earth, who are hell bent on ruining what should be a fun Saturday afternoon. Stay away. Stay far away.
