Need advice and help

[BLUETHUNDER]

Allright guys I got a girl problem and I need some advice. Here is story and any advice is much appreciated.

this girl at my college has had a little crush on me (according to her friends who I am really good friends with also). I did not really think anything of it because she had a boy friend of two years. But then they kinda took a break, but then a few weeks later they are back together. However, her friends say the guy is a really ass to her sometimes. well over the last two or three months we have been hanging out more and more and talking at least once a day for a long time, but I dont mind. Then you I begin to realize that this girl is the kind of girl that I have been looking for, for a long time. We just have so much in common, and whenever we are together we have such a good time. And I discovered I really do have strong feelings for her but like an idiot I would tell her that I really cared for her when I was drunk cause I am a real shy guy and have never had a girlfriend and I needed some liquid courage. Well eventually I told her sober that I really do care for. I have told her a couple times and she has told me that she does really like me too, and yes I have kissed a few times and she did not seem to mind at all. However, I can see that she is really torn between her boyfriend and me. I just dont get it because the boyfriend seems like an ass and alot of people have the same opinion of him including her very close friends. I dont really know what to do because I dont want to pressure her into making a decision but I am also worried that she could just be playing with me and I dont want to get my heart broken. this has really been bothering and I dont really know what to do. Just wondering what you guys thought.

 

[notredomer23]

sounds tough. Ive had a girlfriend or two but im only in hs so i wouldnt know what to do. i guess i can just say, listen to your heart. It sounds like she like she likes you. whatever you think is right is what you should do.

 

[NDOM]

A very tough decision indeed. Take things slow and let her make all the moves. Dont initiate anything and see what happens. And ALWAYS remember that EVERYONE gets their heart broken at least once in their life over a girl (sometimes more) its just part of life. Sounds to me like the boyfriend is a Michigan fan. Anyway good luck with your situation and remember that you always have your friends here at Irish Envy.

Allright guys I got a girl problem and I need some advice. Here is story and any advice is much appreciated.

this girl at my college has had a little crush on me (according to her friends who I am really good friends with also). I did not really think anything of it because she had a boy friend of two years. But then they kinda took a break, but then a few weeks later they are back together. However, her friends say the guy is a really ass to her sometimes. well over the last two or three months we have been hanging out more and more and talking at least once a day for a long time, but I dont mind. Then you I begin to realize that this girl is the kind of girl that I have been looking for, for a long time. We just have so much in common, and whenever we are together we have such a good time. And I discovered I really do have strong feelings for her but like an idiot I would tell her that I really cared for her when I was drunk cause I am a real shy guy and have never had a girlfriend and I needed some liquid courage. Well eventually I told her sober that I really do care for. I have told her a couple times and she has told me that she does really like me too, and yes I have kissed a few times and she did not seem to mind at all. However, I can see that she is really torn between her boyfriend and me. I just dont get it because the boyfriend seems like an ass and alot of people have the same opinion of him including her very close friends. I dont really know what to do because I dont want to pressure her into making a decision but I am also worried that she could just be playing with me and I dont want to get my heart broken. this has really been bothering and I dont really know what to do. Just wondering what you guys thought.

 

[dth31]

It's really difficult sometimes to follow your heart, especially in a situation where YOU really care for someone and you're not sure exactly how the other person feels. My advice would be to pursue her confidently (even if you aren't confident) but respectfully.

Sounds like you would be doing her a favor, although some women are drawn like moths to the flame. At the end of the day, you've got to feel like you did your best and if the opportunity is lost, it wasn't lost because of failure to try.

That's the worst failure--not trying for feel of failure.

Go for it.

 

[BLUETHUNDER]

Thanks for the help guys.

 

[ACamp1900]

Blue Thunder, I speak from experience... ditch her... if you have been honest with the above post and "he" really is an ass... she is at the age where she prob. WANTS to be misstreated, if you get together with her she'll only hurt you...

THIS RULE NEVER FAILS... espec. in regards to college aged women... all the older posters here I'm sure will agree with me...

don't mess with this broad... just stay friends until she grows up if YOU really want a serious thing, and yes that could take YEARS... if you just want "it"... get it and bail... either way I have seen this case a thousand times, EVERY time the girl isn't ready and ends up crushing the guy... I have seen it with friends, enemies and have experienced it personally... it never changes/fails

 

[IrishRamMan10]

dont listen to acamp he only likes cats not humans... lol jk

 

[ACamp1900]

Another key aspect when dealing with a young (18-25) woman in regards to serious realtionships...

A.) what is her realtionship with her father?

B.) and are her parents still together?

 

[ACamp1900]

dont listen to acamp he only likes cats not humans... lol jk

no, if there's no topic I know plenty about that I can actually give serious advice on here, it's this one... BELEIVE me

 

[IrishRamMan10]

i BELEIVE you

 

[dth31]

It's sometimes hard to tell in real-life, and even harder to tell in an email. I suspect ACamp is correct, hence my warning about "moths to a flame". At that time in life some women, for whatever reason, seem inexplicably bent upon pursuing what appears to others to be self-destructive. I have seen this time and again. It's painful to see, and rarely will friends be able to get those ladies to see the relationship as others do, at least in my experience.

I agree that it may be unlikely that you can successfully pursue her. However, I would not recommend that you not try. It may well be painful for you, but pain for the right reason is OK. It's more about feeling that you did what you could do, since you seem to have found what you believe could be a soul-mate, rather than worrying about what she will in fact, do. Looking back and wishing you would have done something, IMO, is worse than trying and failing.

 

[ACamp1900]

I would suggest that Blue Thunder REALLY looks at this with a bird's eye view... is this chick really worth the possible heartbreak when all of us only have so much in us until we are broken and or "damaged goods"... I would suggest taking it very slowly... don't waste your noble heart while still in school... very few women that age are worth it

 

[notredomer23]

I say take the bull by the horns.

 

[ACamp1900]

I say take the bull by the horns.

I'm interested... how old are you.... no insult, no anything... just curious...

 

[notredomer23]

16 going on 17 in like a month.... yeah i know im not that experienced in this type of talk, just saying

 

[IrishRamMan10]

im no longer the youngest guy on here... HIP HIP

 

[notredomer23]

i think irish don or gallup is the youngest

 

[IrishRamMan10]

o ya forgot about gallup

 

[notredomer23]

not to get off topic, but elephant boy, whyd scutaro have to hit that walk off jack

 

[ACamp1900]

16 going on 17 in like a month.... yeah i know im not that experienced in this type of talk, just saying

LOL... no it's all good, just making a point...


17 year old ACamp would have said "take the bull by the horns" too... as well as 20 year old ACamp... 23 year old ACamp.... 25 year old ACamp...

Blue Thunder MUST understand if he really cares about her, he should wait... if he just wants her, then hit it... but if there are true emotions there he'll get crushed I have no doubt...

something about the baby boomers babies... the girls just don't love like the guys do now a days... espec. when they are young...

I get the feeling Blue Thunder is gonna go for it and figure it all out on his own... how does the saying go? We all learn from failure, not from success... I haven't learned much about women that I can share, but this I certainly learned through mysefl and those around me... Women of this generation aren't adapt to serious realtionships for the most part until they hit the mid 20's... and those who are do so only for some deep need to hurt themselves...

bluethunders story sent many red flags... IF this girl has ANY kind of daddy issues AND hasn't hit the age of 21 yet... run for the hills young man... two biggest red fllags you can have, aside from dating jerks and constantly looking around

 

[notredomer23]

wow camp you really are an expert at this

 

[IrishRamMan10]

cuz scutaro owns yankee pitching... your lucky we didnt sweep HAHA

 

[ACamp1900]

cuz scutaro owns yankee pitching... your lucky we didnt sweep HAHA

LOL... where the fuck did that come from???

walk off or not... Scutaro still sucks

 

[notredomer23]

wow i really started a hijack of this thread but anyway... just wait come september its gonna be the yanks, angels, ho sox, and indians... just you wait

 

[IrishRamMan10]

scutaro did the samething against the yanks last year too LOL and yesterday he hit 3 ropes into the outfeild right to the outfielders... would have been 3 doubles

 

[ACamp1900]

wow i really started a hijack of this thread but anyway... just wait come september its gonna be the yanks, angels, ho sox, and indians... just you wait

agreed, there are no other teams of substance in the AL

 

[IrishRamMan10]

agreed, there are no other teams of substance in the AL

HA HA HA

 

[Freeman Ara]

Ok well here's my two cents. First, if you said the guys a dick to her and they were on a break, but then got back together that should tell you a little bit about where her head is at. If she didn't see that he was a dick and went back to him the first time what makes you think she wouldn't go back to him after seeing you a few times romantically. Second, if you pressure her in anyway and she breaks up with him, you then have to deal with the ex, because he doesn't sound like a guy thats just going to take her dumping him for another guy laying down.And its never easy getting a new relationship started when the old one hasn't even truly been resolved yet. If your going to persue her you must be very careful and take it slow, try to get her friends to help you convince her to leave this guy. Try to just remain friends for now but always be there eventually she might see what she's missing. By the way, if you think this girl is truly someone you could see yourself being with forever there is absolutely nothing that should stop you from trying to win her over, one person to be with forever happily is extremely hard to find. If you get it hold on to it.

 

[ACamp1900]

Ok well here's my two cents. First, if you said the guys a dick to her and they were on a break, but then got back together that should tell you a little bit about where her head is at. If she didn't see that he was a dick and went back to him the first time what makes you think she wouldn't go back to him after seeing you a few times romantically. Second, if you pressure her in anyway and she breaks up with him, you then have to deal with the ex, because he doesn't sound like a guy thats just going to take her dumping him for another guy laying down.And its never easy getting a new relationship started when the old one hasn't even truly been resolved yet. If your going to persue her you must be very careful and take it slow, try to get her friends to help you convince her to leave this guy. Try to just remain friends for now but always be there eventually she might see what she's missing. By the way, if you think this girl is truly someone you could see yourself being with forever there is absolutely nothing that should stop you from trying to win her over, one person to be with forever happily is extremely hard to find. You you get it hold on to it.

Absolutely agree... that's why it's important to understand to move slow... at any age, but even moreso when you're young... women can be very fickle these days

 

[big daddy]

When I was in college in Santa Barbara, California I met many girls that liked the " Bad Boys" ' because they saw it as challenge. When asked why they liked these guys some would say " they could change them", but that never occurred. Take it from experience there are plenty of women out there. One day you will find the lady of your deams that doesn't come with any baggage.