ALABAMA CLAIMS ADDITIONAL SEVEN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS
BigALsports.com
4/17/12
For Public Release
TUSCALOOSA, AL - Already holder of the world's record for Football National Championships, last night, The University of Alabama claimed an additional 7 National Championships citing the shattering of the $30,000 Waterford Crystal Trophy as a miracle.
"T'wasn't no accident on Saturday that moved that trophy nor broke it into seven sacred pieces. It was an act of God ... of Biblical proportions ... like ... like the Miracle of The Loaves and Fishes," a Tide Trustee was quoted as saying at The Bear Bryant Museum on campus in Tuscaloosa.
"I'm tellin' ya', it happened on A-Day for a reason. To right the wrongs done to the University of Alabama. We've now got enough trophies for all the championships Noter Dame, the media, and the NCAA cheated us out of. Whole championship or partial never mattered here. Should be no difference between whole or partial trophies. It's the Lord's work. Ya count 'em all!"
Each of the seven sacred shards will be exhibited on its own podium with appropriate plaque to commemorate the year of injustice. A new structure to be named, Justice Hall, will be erected on campus adajacent to the Paul W. Bryant Museum before the 2012 homecoming against Western Kentucy on September 8th in Bryant-Denny Stadium. Permits for the new double wide, designed to withstand an F-5 tornado on the Fujita Scale, have already been applied for.
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