All I have about this unfortunate situation are my intuitions. They seem to point fairly strongly to one hypothesis: a). a young woman who had been fighting some internal chemistry problems, which magnified her "normal" concerns about growing into her womanhood, placed herself in a potentially sexual situation [mildly] with a physical stud;
b). when the action began to take place [by her own admission, to begin with, consensually], she got nervous and started to turn the stud off;
c). he pursued the moment only briefly, and not sexually in any legal sense of the word, and then, probably disgustedly, DID turn off;
d). she made some comment to him about not turning off fast enough. This comment reflected the difference in their understanding of one another, despite the fact that the stud had actually quit his advances;
e). He probably said something back, which included an insult. She probably retorted. The other couple heard the implied threat;
f). Now both guys are scared of consequences [and the other guy tweets something stupid without the stud even knowing that he'd done it];
g). For her the whole affair is a nightmare. Without an effective support system to carry her over the emotional consequences there at the College, her view of herself depresses to that point reached, sadly, by many depressives, and she makes a terrible and unnecessary mistake;
h). from a situation occurring probably hundreds of times daily in this country, we end up with a suicide. The parents, at least subconsciously on a guilt trip themselves, react to this also "normally", by emotionally striking out. This genuine but irrational outrage effectively blunts their own guilty feelings. The fact that none of this is probably their fault either [except the decision to let a depressed daughter go away from home to college] does not matter to the emotional landscape;
i). Notre Dame handles the situation as well as it can---a calm investigation of facts, coupled with regular conversations with the family. It waits appropriately for the investigation's results;
j). The police do their due diligence and collect statements from relevant parties. They see nearly immediately that this is not a sex crime case, nor does the complaintant claim so. They have doubtless been brought in on hundreds of such complaints in the past, and with the terrible exception that this girl overdosed, this is like them. The young woman's situation of taking medicine for depression is also immediately known;
k). The media is delighted with a dirt story on a newsworthy organization, even though they have to invent half of it. This will sell newspapers for a few days. Of course they don't give a rat's a*s about the girl or the family. They DO however give the father some platforms from which to vent his emotions, and he is happy to do so. This includes violating the stud's name by direct accusations which the law investigation did not, and at the end, does not support.
This is the hypothesis that comes to mind to "fit" the facts as have been stated to us. Even if points in this hypothesis are debatable, it is a hypothesis that must be seriously considered when a situation containing things this major is to be judged. I see nothing in this that would lead me to want to try to attack and destroy this player's life. Because of that, I applaud the policy on this board of not naming him [although you can find it if you have any patience at all]. The less he is even named, the better the "fading" of all this will be. Let the "curiosity" and the over-the-fence gossip mentality go. Let the guy get on with his life.
By the way, while teaching in college for several decades, I wrote a policy for sexual harassment violations in the classroom and helped get one psych professor a "leave-of-absence" for a year. I'm part of the harassment police myself in these matters, and don't apologize for the hypothesis written above.