1. USC football - I'm sure their fanbase will say we have a stick up our ass too, but their fans remind me of that annoying weak kid that taunts you for no apparent reason, then runs to the teacher to taddle on you for cursing back at him. Sidenote: as a Bulls fan, I also hold a grudge against their current hoops coach, Tim Floyd.
2. New York Yankees - Their owner may be a good business man, but when he's grabbing more headlines than the team, something is wrong. The Mav's owner, Cuban, is annoying, but he doesn't feel entitled to excellence. George takes it too far, and I just don't get the love affair, so a lot of times their fans just leave me confused. The answer is yes, I was glued to the TV when the Red Sox rallied like they did - best post season series ever.
3. Oakland Raiders - "Just win baby" got real old for me real fast. I like some of the veteran reclamation projects they take in, but Bill Romanowski? Warren Sapp? Randy Moss? Talk about bad role models... even Tim Brown couldn't save that organization for me. And now that they're just old and utterly indecisive, no leadership or stability, nor fresh thinking. I'm very happy Quinn wasn't taken #1 overall, in case you couldn't tell.
4. Florida State football - Bowdin's presence is too much to ignore here. If they didn't have guys like Warrick Dunn or Derrick Brooks, I'd be railing about them constantly. You'll never see me more irritated by organized sport than when FSU and Miami face off. I sincerely hope that one of these days they play to a quintuple OT, and exhaust each other for the rest of the season.
5. Miami Heat - Tim Hardaway and Pat Reilly sum up my feelings about that organization. Tim decides to throw down with the Knicks, and Pat Reilly just ups and leaves mid season, when the team needs him most. Their designated thugs in James Posey and Udonis Haslem irritate the crap out of me too.
Honorable mention: Duke hoops. I happen to like their coach, and many of their ex-players (Shane Battier, Luol Deng), but the rest of that program makes me nauseous. And yes, Dick Vitale counts as part of the problem in my eyes.